What would be an appropriate reaction to this workplace situation involving dress code violations and hypocrisy?

You could all agree to still dress up on Fridays, making her look like the slob that she is.

You could create and have everyone sign a petition against the wearing of leggings and capris and present it to the partners.

Petitions don’t work with these people. In fact, if you petition them for anything, they will say no just because you dared to petition them. She also takes four 20 minute smoke breaks a day and we are only entitled to two 10 minute breaks. Maybe we should ask if that’s next for approval?

We could still dress up nicely, but what’s the use? They’ve totally overlooked her dressing like she’s going to a swap meet all this time, so I guess they don’t care that she’s a slob. She wears ratty capris (even camouflage ones) and a plain white tee (dingy) every day of the week, while we are all in dresses, slacks, suits, etc. So much for improving morale. They’ve destroyed it. We were mad at them for overlooking her behavior and now they’ve sanctioned it.

My reaction would be: “I can wear jeans of Fridays now? Great!” I like wearing jeans, and you don’t have to look like a slob in them if you pick the rest of your outfit properly. Think of the jeans and sports coat look, for example. But if you don’t like wearing jeans, there is a very simple solution: don’t wear them.

As for what you can do about the situation, my guess is nothing. She headed you off, making your complaint moot. That’s the kind of strategic thinking that made her office manager, while your scheming and vengefulness is likely to keep you below her. If your superiors catch on that you’re planning to act against her, they’ll just see you as petty, envious, and/or vindictive.

Regarding the smoking breaks, though, management often gets additional break time during the day as a benefit. And in some cases, a management position comes with a certain fluidity based on what outcomes are expected from the position. A retail manager, for instance, might work 30 hours a week and still get a full salary—despite being expected, under normal circumstances, to work a full 40—if what the corporate office wants is results rather than a strict adherence to a normal schedule. Make sure your office manager isn’t entitled to more than you think before getting snide with anyone.

This is a classic problem with middle managers that are not themselves well supervised. I think @marinelife had the best idea: Try to dress better than she does, every day but especially on Friday. Doesn’t mean you have to wear suits and ties, just be clean and presentable and wear clothes that don’t make you look like you’re going to mow the lawn.

@CunningLinguist You are missing the point and also obviously did not read my question thoroughly. I know jeans can be dressed up. So can capris. That is not the point. The point is (as I already said) that she constantly violates all of the rules and regulations. Not just the dress code, but leave time, break time, payroll, etc., and by allowing her to continue to do so they have badly damaged the morale of their staff. She is not considered “management” in this firm regardless of her job title. If you aren’t an attorney in the firm or a paralegal (which is what I am – therefore I am actually above her, not below her) you are staff and subject to the same rules as the rest of the staff. Also, this is not a “me vs. her” situation – the entire staff wanted to address the dress code violations and other violations when we had the upcoming meeting, not just me, and our concerns were and are valid. We are not planning on “acting against her”. I simply wanted to know how others would react (i.e. feel) in this situation. Why would you assume I would get “snide” with anyone? There is nothing in my question to imply that.

This woman has a long history of mental illness and has threatened suicide. That is why they give her anything she wants, because they are afraid she will kill herself or that, if they let her go, she will sue them. They have also admitted that they erred in making her the office manager because she is not suited to the position (even without her mental issues) since she has no people skills and cannot lead by example, but again, are afraid to remove her from the job because she threatens to harm herself. The problem is, by doing so, they have alienated the rest of the staff and made everyone feel unimportant and devalued.

Why is the way someone else dresses so important to you? It seems to be affecting you more than it should. She’s above you and can do whatever her superiors allow or don’t allow with no input from you.

Life isn’t fair. Pay attention to your clothes and feel good about yourself for following the rules and looking good. There is no reason you need to control your manager’s behavior.

@tinyfaery Thanks for confirming that no one here is capable of reading the previous responses and that this site is useless. No one need bother responding further since I won’t bother returning. What a waste.

@Flounderface Office politics will always be. It’s how you conduct yourself that matters.

@Flounderface I did read your question thoroughly, though you do not seem to have given my response the same courtesy. The first paragraph is simply about your final question. My reaction to the situation would be to be happy about being able to wear jeans on Fridays and let the rest go. My second paragraph is me speculating that there is nothing to be done if the people in charge consistently overlook her actions. She’s good at playing the system. My third paragraph, meanwhile, was a question. You didn’t give enough details in the OP for us to get a complete picture of the situation, so I asked. If she is really subject to the same rules, then perhaps there is something you can do. Though if she’s gotten the rules changed regarding the dress code, that issue will have to wait.

As for the rest of your response, I didn’t say it was a “you vs. her” situation. I simply warned about what could happen if you (which can be a singular or plural pronoun, remember, so this applies to you personally and you as a group opposed to this woman’s actions) tried to attempt something. Given your lack of details, my warning seems appropriate. And yes, it would be snide to ask about the smoking breaks in the way you mentioned. That you didn’t mention that in your OP is irrelevant. I was also taking your answer to @marinelife into account when responding.

Honestly, though, you do seem incredibly petty. You are getting quite upset at the fact that people made certain assumptions even though you didn’t give enough details in the first place, and you have decided that the entire site is useless just because we didn’t immediately tell you what you wanted to hear. Yes, @tinyfaery obviously only read the question and not the response you posted shortly before she posted her own answer. That doesn’t mean she cannot read. It might mean only that she had started composing her answer before you submitted your response to me. It happens. Take a deep breath. Seems like you need it.

Believe it or not, I actually worked in an office once. It didn’t take me long to despise that job and all the “OP“s. I knew quickly that I was not cut out for all the politics and drama. To work in that world you must be tough, tough, tough,tough tough.You got rats on the west side, bedbugs uptown….

The OP’s account is now closed.

Go figure. People ask for opinions and get opinions. Then aren’t pleased with the opinions they receive.

I wasn’t referring to “original poster” and it didn’t dawn on me that I may have been slighting the member. It was another definition altogether not related, or was it?

It wasn’t you. Apparently @Flounderface was upset by @tinyfaery‘s honesty. Oh well.

Why do people ask for things and then get mad when they don’t like the suggestions? It makes it look like the OP was the one with the problem.

that comment wasn’t really that upsetting was it? the one by @tinyfaery ?

@jca It happens on parenting and financial questions often. This was odd because it was an opinion based question. I thought everyone gave helpful answers.

EDIT: Not to me woodcutter. But I’m not easy to offend.

I thought some of them were somewhat terse especially to a new join but what the fuck do i know.

I read through it. I don’t care if the woman strangles herself in front of you, the bosses see fit to let her stay, so you have 2 choices—get over it or quit.

Oh, well. Oh, how I’ll miss her.

well there is always beer

@tinyfaery I see a question about office politics and always think the same thing…either you want the paycheck or not.

Yep.