You can always try making up lists of things to try, whether it be new foods, new restaurants, new places, new music, new indoor and outdoor activites (from sports, to symphonies, to ballet, and avante garde theater). Just be mindful that although each of you should try out new things, no one should ever be forced to do (or continue to do) things that they hate. Me, for instance, I hate football, but I would go to some games if my SO really liked it, but I would probably bring a book to read or I would suggest that he go with one of his male friends or relatives most of the time. If it was something that I was truly afraid of like heights, I would absolutely make it clear that I will never be going sky-diving or trying to get into the “mile high club” So you have to have some balance between trying new things, knowing what your limits are and being open to suggestions and compromises (this means everything from activities, to politics) But other things should be open to compromise, and each person should make some effort to try out new things, or compromise on things that are not 100% thrilling for the other person. Take camping for example. Some people would be happy to backpack into the wilderness, but their SO thinks that idea is horrifying, dirty and overly strenuous, but that same SO might be willing to tent camp or even camp in a motorhome.
Go through your local free entertainment paper/magazine and check out all of the activities, museums, restaurants, concerts, sporting events etc. Then start making out your list. It’s easier to make the list if you categorize it first. I’ll make a little example.
Sports: try ice skating at the local rink, rent a kayak, take a yoga or pilates class.
Entertainment: instead of staying in to rent a movie go to a local comedy club, give the symphony and the ballet a try, drive out to a local casino and listen to some free music in one of the lounges and play a few slots and eat dinner at the buffet (instead of going to McDonalds or ordering pizza), go to a play (at the local kids theater, an avant garde independent theater, or the regular theater) go to a dinner theater and stay for the melodrama, go and watch a movie outdoors (many parks, beaches and even hotels host outdoor movies) rent some subtitled movies, go see an exhibit at your local art museum and natural history museum and city history museum and science center museum. When was the last time you went to the zoo and took pictures?
Outdoor Activities: take a long leisurely drive out into the country (either take a picnic or do a little research to find a nice little cafe) take a day trip to a town or city that is less than 3 hours away from your home (leave early in the morning, plan to have breakfast and lunch in that other city, and do a little research on interesting things to see and do while you’re there) if you like to go to the beach, try going to some different beaches that you don’t normally frequent. Drive up to your local mountains and do some research on some short hikes. Plan to do some outdoor sports like roller blading, renting bikes (if you don’t have any) renting a boat on the ocean or lake, taking a local pleasure cruise (most lakes and ocean areas have local sightseeing tours with food included) Decide to plant a garden (edible or floral) or fix up your existing yard.
Altruism: Find out which of your friends, relatives or neighbors could use a helping hand and then do something for them. Does anyone you know suffer from plain old lonlieness? Go over to their house with baked goods in hand and spend some time with them. Is anyone sick or handicapped? If so, go over there and offer to do some errands for them, whether it’s taking out their trash or picking up some groceries or taking them to church or to a doctor’s appt. Do any of these folks need help with cleaning out their garage or fixing up their home or yard? If so, see what you can reasonably manage to do for them. Find out if your town hosts any cleanup projects and get involved (at least once, go pick up some trash from the beach or creek). Make a point of visiting each other’s relatives and learning some way to effectively deal with some of the more difficult ones. You have no idea how much it would mean to your SO if you can learn to tolerate if not embrace their annoying loved ones. Sometimes it’s as easy as deciding ahead of time to hold your tongue no matter what and humoring these people and then leaving early (no need to agree with them, fight with them or even love them). Host a few informal parties/get togethers at your place (make it a potluck, a barbecue or just serve iced tea and cake) but don’t isolate yourself from friends, relatives and neighbors. Make more than a casual attempt to get to know and benignly tolerate each other’s friends. If you don’t, it will make both of your lives more difficult and less pleasant.
Lifelong Learning: take some classes together. Inspire and reveal your artistic talents by learning how to paint or take a photography class or learn how to do mosaic tile work or faux finishing. Maybe home improvement is what you need. Go down to the Home Depot and learn how to paint your house, how to install tile, how to plant and maintain a garden etc. Maybe you could learn to appreciate those subtitled movies more if you learned a foreign language together. Or maybe you’ll become closer in the kitchen if you take a cooking course (either in basics, or in a particular type of cuisine, or maybe a baking class, or a class on knife/cutting skills).
Politics and Religion: If you happen to share the same basic political stance, then it would be really interesting to actually go to a rally or a lecture where someone that you admire is speaking. If you don’t agree on politics, then it might be a helpful exercise to purposely plan to politely discuss what you believe and why and to listen carefully and concisely to the other person about what he believes and why and decide ahead of time that you will discuss only and not argue about your differences. If you belong to different religions, then it would be very helpful and kind to visit the other person’s congregation (as a guest, without making any kind of judgements). Even if you have no relgious beliefs, but the other person does, then it’s a very kind gesture to go to their place of worship with them occasionally.
Eating: Most people get into a very deep rut when it comes to eating. Try to get in the habit of looking for new restaurants (in the entertainment guides, or by listening to friend’s suggestions) and then actually going to a new place at least once a month. Of if you tend to go to some places fairly often, get in the habit of purposely trying out a new dish every other time you go there. No one is going to like everything and no one should be forced to eat anything that they are allergic to or have a religious or ethical reason not to eat (like for instance I’m a vegetarian, my best friend has a peanut allergy and another friend who is Jewish can’t eat pork and my cousin is sensitive to spicy foods). It usually take 4 or 5 times trying a new food to acquire a taste for it, but when you open up yourself to new foods, you also open up new nueral passages of pleasure inside your brain. It’s also fun and educational to learn what certain foods are, where they come from and the myriad ways in which they can be prepared. Even the most everyday foods like hamburgers or pizza, can take on epic culinary proportions if you try those same items at 20 different restaurants!
All of these ideas are why it is true that Variety is the Spice of Life!
