Can you create some funny "first world pains"?
First world countries are thought of as well developed and advanced places on Earth. So, many of us take for granted what those in Second and Third world countries normally don’t have.
So, I want you to create your own “first world pain”. Read some examples here at this Twitter account.
Be creative, have fun, and most of all think about what we take for granted.
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Oh no, I spilled my $7.95 double mocha frappuccino on my lap.
I’m so upset. My dad said he was going to buy me the new Civic. I wanted the Si, but he got me the regular civic :(
Note: This was an actual complaint, over heard in a class room lol.
Aw, they found weed in my BMW so my parents took it away and gave me a brand new Scion TC instead…
@Blackberry, overheard in my high school Chem class. My teacher called that kid an idiot to his face. Loved it.
My Xbox 360 crashed, so I had to send it to Microsoft. They said it will take about 2 week before I get it back. What am I going to do in the mean time?!
I’ve got 3 cars, but I only have a 2 car garage. What was the builder thinking?!
My DVR can only record 4 shows at the same time. What will I do Thursday nights at 8?!
When I got pulled over for speeding, I told the cop that my father was X in the local government and that he better not give me a ticket. While I didn’t get a ticket, the word got back to my parents. Can you believe it?? They took away my car, and left a bicycle in it’s place. They are so unfair. (True story told by a teen a few years ago.)
Our flight is delayed for two hours! We’re supposed to be on our way to Costa Rica for our second family vacation this year.
Where is Jeeves?? I need my teeth brushed!
Redbox is all out of the new Harry Potter movie!! Waaaaaa!
I always ask for no tomato on my Big Mac, yet there it is every time.
Posted on Facebook: I’m bored.
What do you want for dinner tonight? Get the take out menu binder. Ugh. Why do we Have so many choices?!
They got rid of the chalupa on the dollar menu at Taco Bell!! Them sons of bitches…
I’m being bullied on Fluther!
S#!t!!! I lost my debit card!
I went on vacation, and now I need another vacation due to my lack of vacation.
A friend of mine and I used to play the “yuppie disaster” game after he came to work one day and described his travails:
“The starter went out on my Volvo, my neighbor hasn’t returned my riding mower, and and I need new sails for the boat”
—Others followed naturally: “the caterer was late, the dog groomer clipped the poodles fur too tightly, my Viagra hard-on just wouldn’t go down all night.”
Damn, the meal at the steakhouse came to over $100; why should I have to tip 20% on top of that? It’s outrageous!
My dorg needs to go on a damn diet.
Appropriate
I have to turn up the volume on my TV when I’m chewing something.
Dash it all, ones gone & lost ones internet connection.
Blasted broadband, leaves one in an awful stew…..damn it all to shropshire!!
Ugh, I need a new iPhone. This thing is already a year old.
The kids nanny only knows english as her like third or may be forth langage, so her advanced degree in child development is useless pretty much I was counting on that alot and I’ll prolly hafta like hire someone else to be a english tutor. Dont even get me started on artthmeic arythmitic math.
She dont even talk that good english anyways.
When the hell is FDIC going to raise the limit on the amount they’ll insure per bank account, anyway? It’s tiring having to keep my money in so many different places.
My cialis gave me the legendary four hour erection but the maid, the mistress, and the missus were only good for an hour each.
This steak is rare, I wanted medium rare! Stupid cooks…
“My Dad said he won’t buy me a title until I’m 21! Such a dick!” – Crazy girl I lived with this year at University, after the Royal Wedding and she wanted a Duchess title.
They served my caviar today with metal untensils.
I think our new 52” TV is actually too big for our room…
To a college teacher: “I was in Cancun the day you talked about plagiarism in class so it’s really unfair for you to penalize my paper.”
I’m guilty of a couple of these. Hello self loathing.
I only got 25 presents for Christmas this year. Last year I got 28.
“I accidentally opened Internet Explorer and had to wait for it to finish opening before I could close it”
LOL!
I’ve overeaten yet again, I must start that diet!
Geez, I want more than 3000 songs with me, so I have to take the iPod Classic to camp instead of my nano. Why can’t they make an 80 gig nano?
I need water, but I can’t be bothered walking to the tap.
Obama wants to raise my taxes so the government can pay for handouts to bums and welfare queens.
The batteries died in my TV remote. Now I have to find some new batteries…
@erichw1504 my remote broke, and I had to buy a new television.
I’m so bored! Maybe I’ll search for a new app..
My butler died. What the f*ck’s wrong with him?!
I might have to charter out one of my yachts, or maybe even sell it! in order to pay some of my child support this year.
I’m having to really buckle down at work now, so I may not be able to spend the entire month of August at the Hamptons.
Where can I get my speakers fixed?
I had to work overtime yesterday, but at least I got time and a half.
I hate traveling to Urope or somewheres and listening to people talk Uropean. Why can’t they learn to talk good English I wanna know.
Read? Who needs to read any more?
This steak is overcooked!
I have a tee-shirt that says, “I went to Hong Kong and all I got was this stupid tee-shirt. And three hand-tailored suits plus a dozen tailored dress shirts.”
Because so many of my stocks have under-performed this year, we may have to vacation off-season.
“How can I tell if she likes me?”
“How can I tell if I like her?”
Surely those count, don’t they?
We planned to honeymoon in Bora Bora, but the travel agent said they were still rebuilding from last year’s devastating typhoons. Can you believe it? They’ve had all freaking year to rebuild!
So we might have to go to Tahiti instead. Meh.
I could do these all day. There’s nothing else to do. Spooky; I’m like in a groove now.
My mom died. Now I have to do my own laundry.
I lost my $200 sunglasses. Now I have to squint when I go outside.
“That visit to the psychologist cost a bloody 55 dollar…., and now my cat is still behaving like a lunatic.”
I can’t believe the governor thought he had to shut off air conditioning in the prison as part of a “budget austerity” program.
My neutered dog is still humping my leg!
This caviar tastes like ass!
Someone farted in the elevator.
The power went out. Now we have to make sure that Cook grills all of the meat we had in the refrigerator before it goes bad. And I got an ice cream headache from trying to eat too much, too fast.
Hahhhvard wants me to donate another building before they’ll guarantee Muffy’s admission to the Law School. How gauche.
I’m sick of sweeping the sand off the deck on my beach-side home.
Why does my gardener have to make so much noise?
My housekeeper keeps humming while she cleans. How annoying!
If this NFL players’ strike doesn’t end soon, I might have to entertain myself on Sunday afternoons this fall. How annoying!
“Jose’s net has a hole in it, now guess what, the pool is full of those really, really small pieces of leaf.”
“Yeah, believe me, the seventh visit to that Bieber concert was actually a bit boring.”
My vacations this year have really sucked. There wasn’t enough snow in Vermont on our ski vacation, it rained on Spring Break, and the Islands have been far too hot this summer. I’m hoping that Italy isn’t a complete bust in the fall, or the whole year will be a total disaster.
I washed my jeans. I also washed the Kleenex left in my pocket.
My coffee cost $3.01. What am I gonna do with a pocket full of change?!
What’s so great about having a Kindle, anyway? You still have to read it yourself. I’m not going to be happy until they make an e-reader that actually reads to me. And then they’ll probably put some third-world accent on, like Ohio or Iowa or something.
I can’t believe people still pay with “cash”. Ugh.
I can’t believe this 3D movie cost me $16.
The lady in front of me is paying with a check?! WTF?
Yesterday at work I had to actually do some work. Jeez.
This was always my favorite when I worked in retail: can you call the manager please? There’s too many people ahead of me being helped and I’m tired of waiting, so I’m going to complain that there’s not enough associates here.
I’m on disability from a really major paper cut that I got last month at work.
My friends are getting a divorce. Looks like they won’t be inviting me over for a BBQ anytime soon.
Why does summer have to be so hot?!
“MOOOOOOMM!!! You didn’t put enough syrup in my chocolate milk!”
I’m 28.
When my son sprained his ankle last year it took the ambulance twenty minutes to get to us! I was very clear on the phone that this was an emergency, too! What the hell is wrong with people not wanting to do their jobs any more, anyway?
Oh, great… now my stupid boss is calling me to a meeting. Man, that guy has some nerve. Can’t he see I’m on Fluther?
I’m drinking Natural Spring Water. Is that spring as in the season or spring as in bouncy. I’m so cornfused!
I hate having to think. If we can send men to the moon and bring them back, can’t we make a machine that will think for me?
What!? Only three questions a day? This is the bloody twenty-first century in America, isn’t it? Questions should be free. I’m sure it’s in the Declaration of Constitution or something, or it should be.
My washing machine ate one of my socks.
My snow blower broke. Now I have to actually shovel the snow off my driveway!
History, shmistory. Who fecking cares, anyway?
I’m on the sidewalk. I just walked through a spider web. How is that possible?
The automatic car wash down the street is being repaired. Now I have to actually wash the car myself!
My Hummer H3 broke down… now I have to walk to my neighbor’s house :*-(
The dishwasher is full, now I have to wash the rest of the dirty dishes by hand!
Ugh. Why do they sell the DVD/ Blu-Ray bundled movies? I only watch Blu-Ray these days.
The power is out? Are you freaken’ kidding me?! What can you do without power?
My call girl made a sex tape and now I’m on youtube. Any my ass looks fat on camera.
Why do we have to reserve a time to eat food? How am I supposed to know if I’ll be hungry at 8pm on Saturday?
I burnt my Digiorno pizza in the oven, now what am I going to eat?
Honey, where’s the dog’s Burberry collar?
Oh no! The DVD player went out in the SUV and none of the local rentals have a replacement vehicle with a working player in the back seat on short notice. I’ll have to pay a mechanic double to see me before the weekend because god forbid I have to TALK to my kids on the way to the airport. What a way to start a vacation, eh?
(real one only slightly embellished.. nobody actually said god forbid.. )
The caterer I put on retainer for Thanksgiving just called to say his entire staff was being deported by INS. You just can’t find good illegals these days.
I have an itch that I can’t scratch in public :(
My electric bill is going to be massive in this heat from my A/C constantly pumping out cool, refreshing air.
@SpatzieLover that reminds me of that Summer’s Eve commercial with the woman thinking that and staring at herself in a window hahaha
My girlfriend wouldn’t have sex with me for the fourth time today, so I dumped her ass.
@redfeather I was thinking more along the lines of “Value the V”.
“I’m soooo excited, only about eight months before I will finally travel with Virgin Galactic to space… a full ten minutes for a mere $200.000!”
These skinny jeans are a bit tight in the groin area.
How dare the McDonald’s across the street be closed?! I wanted my $1 iced coffee! Walk 7 minutes to the next closest McDonald’s? No thanks!
This actually happened to me. Just now. ;)
I lost my cell phone on the way home and I don’t know anyone’s number. What am I to do?!
Why do we have to have Daylight Savings Time? The extra hour of sunlight burns up my lawn!
True story. I actually overheard someone make this complaint at Home Depot
Lol. @Seelix I was at a party recently, and I woke up before everyone else and assumed there’d be a McDonalds close by to get cheap coffee. I asked a lady at the bustop where it is, and she said it’s about 2 miles down the street. I decided not to walk and wait for my friends to wake up and drive me.
This thread makes me think of this Natalie Dee comic.
Can you believe they don’t have Evian? Who drinks Dasani?
These Egyptian cotton sheets are almost too comfy.
My satin sheets made me slip and fall out of bed :(
Over 200 channels and there’s nothing good on! WTF, man.
My bikini keeps showing too much skin.
These girls are way too drunk at my party.
I have to miss Hell’s Kitchen tonight because I’m going to a play. Why is my Tivo not working?
I’m not homeless and I have full medical coverage, so I have no right to complain about living below the poverty line.
I can’t believe that people actually kill animals for food. Why can’t they just get their meat from the store?
Actually heard this one.
What is the limit on insect parts in cat food?
ugh, I’ve got to use public transport..
My 5 year old lost his cell phone again!
My dog keeps barking. Geez! It’s not like the people out taking a walk are burglars.
My diamond ring catches on everything. It’s sooo annoying.
Dammit!! I burned the popcorn in the microwave again!!
My Chihuahua just went to the toilet in my new Gucci bag and now i have to take the Prada fringe bag to school which was just so 10 minutes ago.My life has officially ended.
My sparkling water has s speck of dust in it.I’m not drinking that,I am going to get cholera
They shouldn’t let big trucks park diagonally. I can’t see when I back out my Prius.
@Blueroses—i wish i didn’t agree with that…but i do ;)
The movers took all day to pack my home for me. Ugh…
Ugh… Moooommmm!!! The house keeper keeps moving my laptop charger and I can’t find it!
Had to get up at 8 this morning for work… blah, gonna be sooo tired today.
Why can’t there be more reality shows about pawn shops?!
@redfeather the house keeper thing was actually a problem with our maid that comes every other Wednesday for us once, except it wasn’t a laptop charger, it was some CD’s.
I can’t find my cell phone and the land line is so far away! I would have to get up and walk like, two feet to reach it!
@laineybug ours comes once a month. She came yesterday and I was a little muddled from anesthesia and pain killers and started freaking out because she moved the book I was reading and couldn’t find it. It was under another book on my bedside table. :/ oops. Haha
I don’t have a housekeeper and I can’t find my stuff. Who wants to take my blame?
The A/C in my car broke. Now I have to roll down my windows!
My helium balloon no longer floats :(
I’m tired of driving around India seeing cripples and beggars. When do I get to meet Aishwarya Rai?
You’re right. It’s not very funny. Seeing how most of the world actually does live isn’t. I’m going to try to enjoy myself anyway.
Damn, the power went out again. Except for the time I spent sleeping and don’t count (almost long enough) that’s eight full outages in the past thirteen hours at the hotel. Can’t anyone here keep the lights on?
That’s what we’re here for.
Edit / append: Nine outages. Between the time I composed that response and sent it, we had another.
My Internet went on & off all day. I had to get in & out of Fluther over and over again :(
We had to get four iPads for christmas. One for daddy and one for each of the boys because they don’t like to share.
“Damn, finished second in the annual “Who Can Eat The Most Hot-Dogs In An Hour?” contest….”
I didn’t get as much candy as I did last year for Halloween. Cheap bastards!
These bamboo organic cloth diapers are expensive. Being kind to the environment is important, but I don’t know if they were worth the expense—especially considering that little Brogan outgrew them at age 6.
Guys, I’m so green. Look at my Prius. Oh! I’m flying to Amsterdam tomorrow. Yeah, then after that, I’m flying to California. Thinking about going to Buenos Aires after that. But yeah, I drive a Prius and I can totally drive in the HOV lane.
(an actual Facebook friend of mine who thinks she’s saving the environment, then flying all over the place to get high with her friends around the world.)
A bunch of people left my favorite chat site. Now I have to go to Facebook to talk to them.
Facebook just implemented a bunch of changes to their site. I’m so sick of this, I may just delete my account. Ugh…
Somebody didn’t clear the remaining time on the microwave. I hate that. It’s like a whole nother step between me and my Hot Pocket.
Ugh… I ate too much at lunch again. Now I’m going to be uncomfortably full all afternoon, and I’ll probably eat too much at dinner again, too.
Why is my Mercedes always in the shop.
Who the F&^% took the seat off my bidet!
Why do the batteries in this remote control always run out so fast. Get me a pair of “AA” bitch!
The elevators were broken, and I had to go up 8 floors on the escalator!
The escalator jammed, and I was stuck between floors for a half-hour until they could get it fixed again.
And the bitch operator at 9–1-1 wouldn’t send help!
The 3D quality on my 60” LED TV isn’t that great.
Padma Lakshmi (I think that’s how you spell it) gets “palate fatigue” from tasting so many different foods on Top Chef.
Why do those people in coach have to walk through our First Class aisle?
“Waiter, this caviar is disgusting!”
@keobooks Holy CRAP! <shakes head> If that’s the worst thing that lady has to “worry” about
Dammit! I ran out of pages in my passport. Again.
My luxury suite at the Trump Hotel is just a little too small for my taste.
I have to work for a few hours on Saturday mornings. I should be in bed on Saturday mornings not at work!
My internet has been down for over two hours now. I hate Comcast/Time Warner/Charter.
The grocery delivery boy forgot my stuffed olives AGAIN! Now I’m going to have to wait for my 5:00 cocktail because he rides a damn bike here! How RUDE!
Or
Dammit, the garage door wont go up and BOTH cars are inside… how will I get to the mailbox now? My credit card bill is due in a few days!
How can I know what is safe to feed the squirrels in my yard? I don’t want to give them anything unhealthy…
I had to turn my 5.1 Dolby surround sound system up while watching Avatar in 3D because the neighbor’s dog wouldn’t stop barking!
Why can’t I find a vegetarian kibble my dog will eat?
My boyfriend only bought me 3 flowers this time…
@erichw1504 or the sex in the city classic… “He got me carnations, carnations are filler flowers.” LOL
Agh, my hairdresser cut my hair too short. Now I have to wait longer for it to grow out!
My Louis Vuitton dog purse is ruined after fluffy poooed in it!!!
My boyfriend brought home the wrong brand of PMS relief tablets – and I’m out of bullets.
I can’t find the right shirt to match these pants.
Now where the hell did I put the keys to the jet
The internet at work went down, now how am I supposed to get the liveblog from Apple’s event?!
My mom says I’ll have to make my Halloween costume this year.
What do you mean, there’s nothing organic and cruelty-free on this menu? I guess I’ll starve.
The 7–11 was all out of Reese’s peanut butter cups, what am I to do now?!
My dishwasher is too loud.
My mommy took away my allowance…
Is anyone staying at the house on the Keys or Catalina next weekend or do I have to stay in that dreary chateau in Monaco again?
My iPhone is running terribly slow today.
I said no tomato on my McChicken!!!
I keep getting beat to the first response on Fluther questions. Man, that just ruins my whole day.
They introduced the iPhone 4S, not the iPhone 5?! This sucks, I’m just going to wait for the 5 now…
Screw Apple! iPhone, SchmiPhone…
Oh, wait. Steve Jobs died? Now I have to get an iPhone 4S.
Apple rules!
I think this Q is another version of what a friend called “Yuppie Disasters”
—ah to be young enough to be a yuppie.
To wit: I was late because the Volvo has transmissions problems, and the cab taking me to the dealer was slow in coming. I also had to talk to the guy who is replacing the sails on my boat, and I had no breakfast because the microwave broke. Tomorrow I have to take off because the pool cleaner is coming. BTW did you know I couldn’t get rid of my Viagra hardon last night and it is really weird the way Viagra makes everything look bluer. Is that me? Do I need a psychoanalyst?
I have a real life one that I heard recently. Someone I know of (I wouldn’t call her a friend or an aquaintence) has stopped talking to her father because she believes that the diamond jewellry he gave her for her birthday was originally intended for someone else and she was just an after thought when that other person turned the jewellry down. Spoiled bitch!
True comment in a conversation i had the pleasure to hear with two female workmates:
“The draft in my basement takes a week to go away after my brazilian wax”
I just heard this one: “My chocolate fondue is not runny enough!”
rofl
My facebook page is all messed up.
Fluther is so slow on my iPhone when sailing near Fiji.
This fresh, clean water is too cold on my teeth.
The President’s address interrupted the new episode of Modern Family!
So what if the world is ending… pshh.
I can’t believe I have to wait ‘til Monday to see a specialist about this pimple.
My name is Paris and I own these Hotels!
I can’t believe Direct TV is dropping all my favorite channels!!!
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