Where does the idea that human relationships are a game come from?

I think the idea comes from “the hunt” that men used to do for not only food, but for women. The idea of raiding villages for brides. However, I cannot corroborate this since it’s only a theory of mine.

To some folks everything’s a game, because their thinking was built around some sport(s) and the metaphors work for them.
That’s often not a subtle or deep toolkit, so it’s not surprising that it could include seeing women as prey to be gotten through some plays.

On the other hand if the best kit of thinking-cap power-tools the guy has for figuring things out, and he happens to use his best resources to express his genuine love for someone then more power to him.

I don’t know, but I’d like to shoot the idiot who first came up with the idea!

All I know is, I’m a child of God, as is every other human being ever born. I don’t need to lie, cheat, steal or play games to get what I want, because what I want is what God has for me and gives to me feely.

It’s easy to understand a bit of it. It’s a game because most play it when they do not want something serious out of the relationship. If it becomes to serious for the other part they can always point out ” ‘t was a game for me”.

But when most end up with thinking “I’m not good enough” and start playing games it’s easy to become role models for others and they do exactly the same thing.

I try to be myself in all situations.. Take me or leave me.. By doing this it lowers the lie aspect. I have enough problems keeping up with my diet much less a string of lies.

I hate the “game” and typically do not engage in it. @Schroedes13 theory is a good one I think, logical, but I find it offputting. I run away from these sorts of games.

It is perpetuated in so many ways. There are books written on how to get a husband/wife, and they typically are about game, not about being open and honest.

I guess all of us do some manipating to get what we want, we do it as children with our parents, and then it continues into adulthood to some extent within other relationships. The game is a purposeful manipulation of sorts.

Generally I am an open book. I don’t perceive myself as playing games, and I believe open communication is the best way to have a good relationship. When I am less than honest, or rather not very forthcoming, it is a reaction to the other persons personality. If they have proven historically they cannot handle the truth, don’t want truth or confrontation, I might stifle wanting to talk something through with them. I hate it. Those people I do not feel I have a close relationship with, even though I do love some of those same people. I think they are so accustomed to paying games, they know no other way. In recent years I have decided to go to their level of sorts, rather than fight the system, when I am around them.

@JLeslie Ya it is offputting. I don’t engage in it. I’ve already found my soulmate. Even before her, I always just tried to be friends with people. I never went out on the prowl!

The greek and the Roman empires often used to have these festive games where the men were to engage with the women.

They used to have these degrading games as well, where women were beaten with whips .

I think it’s because political maneuvering (aka “games”) is so ingrained into the other parts of our lives. It’s how you get what you want, whether it be a promotion, a friend who’s a doctor, an employee discount to your favorite shop without actually working there, absolution, etc. So if you see relationships as something to “have”, a partner as someone to “get”, then it makes sense to treat it as you would any other goal.
I think there’s often a disconnect between wanting a relationship and realizing that the whole reason for wanting a relationship is because you think it will make you happier and more content. So people get tunnel vision, focusing more on the tree (relationship) than on the forest (contentment). This then reframes the issue into one that should be treated as a goal with an endpoint, not a journey to be lived.
And also, games work in the short term. They don’t work in the long run, but it’s a great way to get a lot of 2 week flings. And the thing about people who always have a new fling is that they seem like they’re a lot more successful in love than they are; they come across as having all the choices in the world and they simply like to keep things fresh, instead of unable to sustain a relationship for any significant period of time. So then others model themselves after those who have flings. It’s a vicious cycle.

I think it comes from two places.
1. Is nature. You see it even in nature. A male species wil either put on a show or dance or even build a home to engage a female it desires. (watch this guy play his game ) If the female in question has several suitors she will pick the best of the lot. Of course this is all done in order to ensure healthy strong offsprings. Its a biological thing. I doubt the female of the species is really thinking, “Ohh! He will make a great daddy and our children will be strong”. I don’t think animals understand biology, they just follow their instincts. Humans do the same thing. Only our motives can be many. But I think in the begining it was probably started as a strategy to ensure longevity or the species by finding a worthy mate.
Today it simply starts with young people who’s hormones are raging and their feelings have extreme highs and lows. Combine that with inexperience and you have games. Unfortunately, some people never grow out of it.
2. It was reinforced with courting and with the love of money or power or how a female is percieved. For many years females where taught that she must play hard to get to engage a male. If she was quick to tell him that she was actually looking for a perspective mate or even if a guy does it, than the other person in the relationshiop may be quick to end things or they may lie to string the person along.
I’ve heard the saying, “Don’t hate the player, hate the game”.
I say hate the player. He/She made it difficult for people to be honest about what they want and expect.
They continue the game. If there were no players, there would be no game.

I say this idea like many other ridiculous ideas comes from what I term the ‘cosmo-maxim bubble’ where people from two oppositely normed genders/sexes find themselves supposedly baffled by all that ‘the other/opposite’ does and use games, advice, rules and fluffy evo psych to win the war, get the score, get the ring, and win, so to speak. This world, it is baffling in how superficial and yet deep-rooted it is. People aren’t that one-dimensional but when it comes to sex and dating and finding love, it’s like everyone gets lobotomized and falls to the lowest common denominator – like behavior. Geez, people, things are so much more rich outside this bubble.