Guys, what do you think when you see a woman that could lose X pounds?

First, I think that something must be going on for this person to be 40 lbs overweight. I was there once – I gained exactly 40 lbs after the birth of my daughter. I wasn’t sleeping, was very stressed out. Then I lost my job and got depressed. The extra weight felt very uncomfortable and made me claustrophobic. I was not in a good place. I took care of the depression, got a job, and lost the 40lbs in a few months.

So, in a way, it makes me wonder what’s going on with this woman? Is she depressed?

Can I still be physically attracted to her? Hell yes.

Sorry, @tom_g , if this sounds a bit pissy, I want you to know that it’s not directed at you but at folks who have the idea that “something’s going on” if someone is carrying around some chub. Often it’s as simple as they are busy and not worrying too much about their weight. 40 pounds over is not necessarily morbidly obese, most of the people I know are not stick thin, and are not that concerned. I’m currently carrying some extra (I won’t say how much ;-P) and I’m active, strong, healthy and have loads of energy. I eat really high quality food, and not too much of it. I’m not depressed, but I am chubby and I frankly don’t give a rat’s ass.
Oh, and my house is also a real mess. Still not depressed.

@JilltheTooth – Sorry if I offended you.

@JilltheTooth -5 for the messy house.

I could stand to lose 40lbs. Probably more. I’m working on it, though, and would be pretty offended if someone were to make assumptions about me. I was lazy. Now I’m trying not to be.

@tom_g : No, like I said, you didn’t, but that does seem to be a standard attitude. I found that I am more comfortable in my skin when it’s a bit stretched out than I was when I was constantly trying to live someone else’s ideal.

It depends. I am, in general, attracted to men with a very slim build. I really have a hard time seeing myself in a relationship with a bigger man, but I wouldn’t discount the possibility entirely. I have had some naked fun with a rather big boy, and the fact that he is fat was not a problem, but I don’t know if I could have a long term relationship with such a feller. I think I would be willing to try even though I would have a hard time being attracted to them.

This makes me feel like a terrible hypocrite because I myself am a big girl I’m about 50 pounds overweight, and I was a lot bigger until recently, and have been since I was 8 years old. Every man I’ve ever had a relationship has had a really hard time with this. It fucking hurts after a few of those.

It really depends on the context.

In a club: I probably won’t make a move on her. Then again, I’m really not there to find a soul mate.

If I meet her elsewhere and she is fun/interesting/etc…: Not an issue. I love a woman who I can talk to so her appearance isn’t a big deal.

Hey @Adirondackwannabe. Thanks a lot! Make me look like a jerk for putting the number “40” in my answer. Your original question didn’t have the “x” in it. It said “40 pounds”!

@tom_g Sorry about that. I’ve learned not to touch third rail items.

I would be shocked to hear too many negative assumptions, honestly. I could probably stand to lose 40lbs… and there is no shortage of cat calls or come-ons in my life. Just saying.

@Seelix Gimme a break, we saw your avatar lol.

The men I know care about 40 pounds on a woman. I think we should change it to 30 for the question, because 40 on a man is very different than on a woman.

I don’t think about it at all, unless you mean in the context where I’m thinking about approaching the woman? Like, “She’s attractive, but she’s a little too big for me….”? In that case, I probably just wouldn’t. But I’ll also add that I already go for bigger women, so something bigger than what I like is unattractive, to me.

@Seelix and @ANef_is_Enuf You both look really skinny in your avatars. Are those just fancy camera angles, or are you just a lot healthier than you think?

I don’t think it’s either of the options. I would say beyond a shadow of a doubt that “really skinny” is not even remotely accurate. Facebookers have seen at least a few full body photos of me. I’m not a skinny girl.

Let’s all be honest with ourselves, we are “programed” to desire a fit partner by reading/looking at magazines like Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, GQ, etc., and by the attractive celebrities we see on television. Most people, including me, will agree that the priority in attraction to the opposite (or same) sex is looks, because what we truly desire is a long and healthy relationship with a partner who won’t croak at 45! (My apologies for anyone reading this that has lost loved ones around that age) Regardless, we all should learn to love someone for whom they are, not what they look like! Even though I believe that attraction is a vital part of relationship, it is a “program” that certainly needs an upgrade to how physically different we all are, and unique it makes us!
@Adirondackwannabe – we love you just the way you are!!

@ANef_is_Enuf Well all I’ve got to go off of is your lovely avatar pic.

@FluffyChicken well thank you for the compliment, but I assure you that I’m not pretending. lol.

@ANef_is_Enuf I’m not a fan of skinny, but is that disparaging the thin people?

@Adirondackwannabe I think that everyone has preferences.

Yeah, I think that’s it.

I did a little research and I think that @ANef_is_Enuf is being honest. I would also have to say that she is pretty hot. But don’t let her husband know I said that.

Let’s put it this way. If I saw her across the floor at a night club I would consider myself very lucky if she consented to dance with me before the night was over. Don’t tell my wife I said that, either.

I think X broken promises.

@wundayatta thank you. ;)

@ANef_is_Enuf no prob.

Bet you never think of congratulating her on the 20 she’s already lost.

@Jeruba – Unless there was a way to know that…no.

You do bring up a good point though. Years ago I started a new job and met a guy that was fairly overweight. As I started to get to know him, I picked up on the fact he was on a very strict diet, and would go to the gym. It wasn’t until I became friends with him that he told me he had lost 110 pounds, and showed me the “before” photos.

@Blackberry and @FluffyChicken – I know I wear the weight pretty well, but last time I was weighed at the doctor’s in June (I don’t have a scale myself), I was shocked to see the numbers. In order to fit into my “ideal” weight bracket of 120–145lbs, I would have to lose at least 40lbs. I wear a size 12 (occasionally 10–14 depending on the clothing manufacturer) and I would like to wear an 8. I’m working on it, though. I have no idea how much I’ve lost since I started using my stationary bike in May, but it’s enough that people have started to comment.

40 lbs is a lot of extra weight to carry around. My answer is the same as the other thread, even though I’m not a guy

I feel like I should point out that the size 12–14 that @Seelix mentions is the average size of women today. Maybe that’s why 40lbs sounds shocking, but to see a woman that fits the actual size frame makes you think “huh?”

@ANef_is_Enuf makes a good point. The “average” woman is a little overweight, according to medical standards. So though Nef and I might seem relatively slim, we could stand to lose a few pounds and probably be healthier for it.

For what it’s worth, Neffie, you might have a little pudge, but you’re still super hawt. There’s nothing wrong with having a little cushion and workin’ it!

I gotta wonder, too, if most people really get what 40 lbs actually looks like. My sister weighed 300 pounds and lost half her body weight (and DAMN I am proud of her!) but many many people assumed she’d lost about 50 lbs. This indicated to me that there’s quite a gap between what people think is 40 lbs, and what is really 40 pounds when they see it.

@Seelix thanks and right back at ya, gorgeous.
@JilltheTooth I agree. That’s what I was thinking. Of course 40lbs is a lot of weight, I can’t deny it. But it’s incredibly common, and I don’t think that people are realistically looking at the overall picture and recognizing what is what.

Also, my point in bringing up my own body type and the reaction that I get in real life was just to point out that what people hear and what they see may not always match up.

I found a website that was genius awhile ago. It’s a height and weight chart, and people submit their pictures and they go in the square where their height and weight is. It’s cool to look at the differences. I’m not the best at determining someones height or weight from looking at them.

@Blackberry do you remember what the site was? That sounds interesting to check out.

I wonder how much of this would depend on where the extra pounds are on her. If she’s carrying her weight in her breasts and hips, she’s going to look closer to voluptuous than a woman who carries her weight in her abdomen.

Since this is in social, I’ll go off on a little tangent. I think that when a man says that he likes a woman with “some meat on her bones,” he means bigger hips and/or breasts. I don’t think that they mean carrying that “meat” in the abdomen and/or thighs. Strictly my opinion, though I do wonder how many men think that I’m correct.

@Blackberry – Yes please, can you find that site again?

@tedibear I don’t disagree with you that the distribution of the weight is probably a huge factor, especially because women tend toward so many different body types, where that is not really so much the case with men.

I found it.

@Blackberry that site is genius. I was just scrolling through the people in my height category, and I came across this photo. I’d like to know how many people in this thread would accurately guess that the lovely young lady pictured weighs about 210lbs.
This is an excellent way to illustrate what @JilltheTooth and I were just saying. Thanks for sharing.

I lose weight when I’m really busy at work. All the people at my job, except the one lazy one who sits there and chats on her phone, are all slender in shape.

It’s hard not to attribute chubbiness with laziness. When I’m being lazy at home or at work, I eat more. When I keep myself productive, I forget about eating as much.

The bottom line is this: Eat less & do more activities and you won’t be 40 lbs over weight.
And I know there are plenty of people who say “I eat great, I exercise blah blah blah.” No, you don’t. It is VERY simple math, you eat less than or equal to what you burn off in activities and you will not gain weight.

A good friend of mine who is over 150 lbs (and big framed) claims to run four miles a day. Maybe. But I see her sitting at her work desk, pounding sodas. And once she asked me to help her with online banking… all her expenditures were eating out… So 4 miles a day is doing nothing.

So I think “close your mouth, and stand up”

And, @mrrich724 , if we were all exactly like you, undoubtedly every thing you do and say would apply to all of us.

@Blackberry Wow! what a fantabulous resource! I’m really really happy that exists. I feel like my self image is very distorted, and being able to see other people my height and weight gives me a much better idea.

Thanks, @tom_g, that’s just what I was getting at: some people who look like they have a long way to go have already come a long way (and their friends are probably telling them they look great).

And some people have real reasons that you can’t see and that they will never explain.

The point is, we can’t assume we know enough to judge people when all we see is that they’re proportionately heavier than the culturally accepted ideal body image. We aren’t less valuable people just because we don’t have perfect bodies.

@Jeruba: “The point is, we can’t assume we know enough to judge people when all we see is that they’re proportionately heavier than the culturally accepted ideal body image. We aren’t less valuable people just because we don’t have perfect bodies.”

I agree. However, I interpreted the question to mean “what do you think”, as in what is your reaction. There are many ideals I hold about judgement, etc. that just don’t come into my first impressions. Part of the value of my answer was to provide some insight on what some people (or at least me) think upon seeing someone who is 40 lbs overweight.

@Jeruba I’m more valuable because there’s more of me… That’s how it works, right?

@ANef_is_Enuf The average person is overweight… Normal isn’t always good.

@Facade I’m not saying whether it is good or bad. I’m simply pointing out that I think the perception that many people have is not necessarily in line with reality when it comes to weight.
40lbs sounds like a lot, and it is a lot. But to your average person… a woman that is 30 or 40lbs overweight looks pretty normal.

@ANef_is_Enuf I agree with @Facade. Normal to a North American maybe. Statisically normal, not healthy normal. We are used to seeing people overweight.

A woman 40 pounds overweight looks overweight to me. Not that it matters.

I think hey, that’s none of my fucking business.

The hot ones always claim to need to lose about 40lbs.

@FutureMemory : Nailed it! ;-)

@ucme Lol!

@ANef_is_Enuf Just to go a little further, an average woman who is 40 pounds over the top part of her normal range is probably teatering on being technically obese. This is averages, of course if she is veru athletic with a lot of muscle mass the numbers are different. Check out this map that changes over the years, showing America getting heavier and heavier. Even more important is how heavy is the community we specifically live in. Here is the interactive map by state It is just normal to our eyes to see people the heavier size if we live in a place where it is statistically normal.

If you look at the size of clothing 30 years ago, it is vastly different from today. The vanity sizing is unbelievable for women. Special K spoke of pinching an inch in their commercials, now we are always talking about losing 40 pounds+. I worked in retail from the age of 14 for twenty years more or less. Size 12 was a large back then. Now the size 12’s are easily the current day size 10. and people think that new 10 isn’t very heavy, and it is being called a medium. I agree that size 10 person does not look huge to my eye, certainly not obese, she isn’t, but still everything is distorted. 40 pounds overweight makes her a current 14 probably. The top range of misswear, and the old 16.

When I am in TN and MI I look pretty average, when I am in FL or NYC I look heavy. It’s all relative. Well, not all, but a lot of it.

@JLeslie though I understand what you’re saying, I think you’ve misunderstood. I’m not trying to justify or validate or state what I think is right or wrong. I think what other people do with their own bodies is none of my damn business, personally.

I was just trying to point out that using 40lbs as a marker is probably going to yield inaccurate replies. I would assume (citing myself as an example) that most people would look at a woman who is 40lbs overweight and think she looks quite average.

@ANef_is_Enuf I see. Probably true.

@jilltetooth you don’t have to be exactly like me, but the bottom line is that unless someone has thyroid issues or other actual health issues that physically change the facts, it truly is that simple… Have a total net loss or break even on calories and you will not gain the weight.

There will ALWAYS be an excuse (I don’t have time, I am depressed, my body just isn’t like that), but none of them hold water.

People can say whatever they want, but the proof is in the pudding (pun intended)

All the fit people I see in the gym aren’t genetically blessed, they just burn the calories and control their food portions. And many of the “overweight” people aren’t genetically hindered. They just eat more food than they burn and in order to be ok with themselves they make excuses.

My mother had three children, a husband that did nothing around the house, and hypothyroidism. She still found te time to educate herself about what she was feeding herself and family & she trained for and successfully ran a marathon.

So I know there is no excuse.

@mrrich724 GA

Who’s talking excuses? It wasn’t me. However, your cut and dried attitude really doesn’t hold up in a shades of gray world. My point was that what someone else sees as “overweight” may not be overweight. Chubby for me is not lazy, or deluding myself into thinking that I eat in a healthy fashion when I don’t, or saying I get enough exercise when I don’t. Chubby for me is healthy, whether or not it fits in with your standards. I know I won’t be healthier if I put the time and energy in that it would take to be not chubby, I have done that, it actually saps my strength and leaves me weaker than I started, although I look “better” by some standards. Painting us all with the same broad brush is silly and arrogant.

@JilltheTooth You may want to talk with your doctor if exercise leaves you feeling weak. Of course, if you work hard enough, you’re going to be tired after expending energy, but it shouldn’t be debilitating.

This is a seriously-touchy subject. Everyone has their own body type and everyone has a comfortable weight range. However, there should be a way of discussing the facts of being overweight without completely offending people. Being overweight has consequences to your health (increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, certain types of cancer, and early death – to name a few). We have a national health crisis (as @JLeslie mentioned) in this country. Obesity rates are skyrocketing, along with the health problems that come with it.

This thread has taken a few different turns….
– Some people answered the original question: “Guys, what do you think when you see a woman that could lose X pounds?”
– Some people discussed how 40 lbs wasn’t really enough weight to be identified these days as overweight.
– Some people discussed how extra weight makes them feel better.
– Some discussed whether it was anyone’s business what people wanted to do with their bodies, etc.

@JLeslie and @mrrich724 touched on the fact that there are health problems associated with being overweight.
There are facts about the body’s effects of carrying extra weight that are just facts. This specific topic is not the same thing as people’s personal opinions about attractiveness, etc.

Oh, dear. @Facade: No no no that’s not what I was saying. The lower food intake plus the added exercise to keep myself at a weight that would be socially acceptable to some of you is not appropriate for me. It’s that simple. I know my body, despite what some of you might think. I’m 57 years old, was eating organic and food combining before many of you were born, determined long ago what the best and healthiest protocol was for me, adjusted for various medical issues I’ve had (that were not caused by weight, or how I eat) and know that “fightin’ trim” for me is not so easily found on a chart in a magazine that tries to sum up what’s appropriate for everyone. The concept of “extra weight” is different for all. Which is a bit amusing, in the context of the wording of this Q, that assumes that someone else can decide what’s “extra”, unless he’s talking about obvious morbid obesity. In which case we are all way off base with the whole 40 pounds thing.
I give up.

GA, @JilltheTooth. It’s certainly possible to be perfectly healthy while carrying some “extra” weight. If you feel best when you’re a little heavier, so be it. Rock it, darlin’, and screw anyone who tries to tell you different.

Thanks, @Seelix , especially since I don’t consider it to be “extra”.
BTW, love the pix with your sister! Beyond cute, the two of you!

@JilltheTooth All righty then…

@Seelix I agree with Jill about the pics. I can’t get over how much you two look alike. Beautiful photos. :)

@JilltheTooth and @ANef_is_Enuf – Thanks so much :)

What @JilltheTooth is talking about is another thing altogether. We discussed how people view us as women if we are overweight, and the health consequences, and how we perceive someone’s weight has to do with what is normal in the community. But, @JilltheTooth is talking about the weight she feels most comfortable at. I would never try to argue with what weight she feels good at, assuming she is aware of what sort of health impact it might have, or what is considered normal weight. Her body, her choice, she knows what feels good, I competely respect it. But, I know a lot of people who are 40 pounds overweight who think it is a normal healthy weight, and I would just want them to have the choice to be informed and decide for themselves what they want to do. This number 40 is getting thrown around a lot, but let’s remember 40 on a 5’2” woman is very different than on a 5’7” woman.

I’m currently about at least 40lbs overweight according to charts. I don’t use scales as my guide, I use my clothing. It’s much more practical for my body type.

I am 5’0. I look “normal”. If I got down to what the charts say I should weigh, I’d be a size 0. For me, a size 0 looks disgustingly thin. Personally, I find the inward curve of a pelvis repulsive. Luckily, my husband prefers me curvy and isn’t into hugging “bones”.

No matter what size/weight I am I will always be an hour glass figure. Right now, I’m a petite medium. I prefer to be a small and am working on getting there——but for my metabolism it’s a push.

Even when I’m what I consider my ideal size, I’m about 20lbs over weight compared to the charts. Women beat themselves up over this crap…it’s a chart for goodness sake. Some of the charts figure in bones/foot size and some do not. In my case, I am literally large boned.

My sister is an inch & a half taller than I am. When she was younger, she was waif thin (you could see her rib cage and her spine…revolting) and she was considered “healthy weight” for her height. She is small boned and tends to gain a pear shape. When she gains weight it shows quickly. When I gain weight, it doesn’t.

I read an article in People a couple years back about real life women that had lost major weight. They posted the before and after photos. One of the women that was featured was 5’0, was down to her ideal weight of 140 and was a size 4. The next month in the letters section people wrote in saying “How the hell can a woman that’s 5’0 be 140lbs? That’s impossible…it’s unhealthy!” I laughed heartily. I’ll tell you how: She’s got muscle!

I eat organic, lean, healthy foods. I work out for at least one hour daily. My body puts on between 100 and 200 miles per week via my recumbent bike, walking, jogging, hiking and more.

What do I notice from this question posed by @Adirondackwannabe, women have opinions about the weight of other women, even though the question was asked of the “guys”. It’s an interesting dichotomy when you read @wundayatta‘s question about what women think when they see an overweight man.

Did any of you see the girl on page 194? She’s supposedly “plus-size”.

At the time, my husband said “She’s plus size?” and said “Why can’t they only show real looking models in women’s magazines?”

@SpatzieLover You make a good point. I really hate all those charts out there because they don’t take race (Black people are genetically denser and heavier than other races, and Asian people are smaller and lighter), frame size, and athletes into consideration. I’m 5’2 and probably 140 lbs, but I can clearly see and feel my ribs and hip bones and have a 26.5” waist. With that, I’m still not in my personal best shape, but I am in no way overweight. Weight and body size is in no way a cookie-cutter issue, but I still feel that some people have skewed views on what is and isn’t healthy. That goes for all the “skinny-fat” people out there too…

Plus size models are not plus size. Woman’s sizes begin at 16, some cut as small as 14. The models for the “Woman’s” department are 12–14, usually 12.

@SpatzieLover I completely agree we cannot just go by charts and calculations. I also agree that it depends where people hold their weight on their body. And, of course muscle mass matter too. Additionally, I think how the woman feels, what weght feels good to them matters. But, when we look at the charts and that map I linked of the US getting fatter and fatter, how do you explain it? Were people more undernourished previously? Too thin?

@JLeslie No, people are just very fat nowadays.

I think when you start discussing how “40 lbs for one person is different than 40 on another,” you are taking the question out of context. I think (I could be wrong and haven’t read every reply on here) that the question was supposed to mean “what do you think when someone has ALOT of weight they can afford to lose.

And in answering that question, like I said, even in this grey world, it is pretty black and white. Heck, even when discussing people with illnesses, there have been trials that show that many illnesses can go away just by losing weight and being active.

and @JilltheTooth please do not take any of my comments as comments directly to you or your physique or your lifestyle, as I don’t know you or what you look like. I meant my comments toward everyone who has an excuse about why they “just tried but can’t seem to” lose weight.

@JLeslie you can’t just explain America trending toward obesity by one or two statements. It’s a mixture of ALOT of different things. Our lifestyle has changed IMMENSELY in the past few decades. Nowadays food is made with CRAP in it to maximize profits, not benefit consumers. Horrible things like “spread” (as opposed to real butter) and McDonald’s, and lots of other chemical ridden things that the body doesn’t need are put in bright packaging and given prime locations in grocery stores. I was born in ‘85, and when I was a kid I rode bikes and played football in my yard for fun. Children nowadays just skip that and go straight to video games. The healthcare industry has turned into a group that doesn’t want to heal people, rather just “treat” people because it makes more money. So if you are sick or obese, they aren’t going to give you what you need (a VERY specifically managed diet and exercise), instead they will put you on pills. Pills?!?!?! Uh, people have gotten along for 100’s of years without pills and all the sudden we are going to die early without them?

The media has encouraged our way of life to promote instant gratification (seeing results at the gym, and eating right are NOT in line with instant gratification). There are just WAY too many problems to answer the question in a response on fluther.

Thanks Blackberry for showing us that height/weight site. Very interesting! I’d never think this woman weighed 220lbs. She’s quite hot, in my opinion.

@FutureMemory she is cute, But yea, I’d guess she’s 220…

@mrrich724 I agree the 40 pounds is just a number to imply the person is over ideal weight, andit isn’t a simple 5 pounds.

About why people are overweight. I was not asking why. I was again trying to emphasize that people have become a accustomed to people being overweight and see it as normal. So asking what about thinner America 30 years ago is only asking does everyone who sees @FutureMemory‘s link as normal or not very overweight, do they look at the 5’9” girls of yesteryear who weighed on average 170 and think too skinny? Or, so skinny? Or, not normal?

On a side note I agree everyone is heavier now for many many reasons, one that you missed that I think counts is portion size. Also, it is not just McDonald’s, most restaurants put so much fat in the food, and again portion size it is disgusting. I grew up on margarine and coca cola and I was very thin. Not that I am recommending that diet. But, we ate dinner at home almost every night and as you point out I was running around outside and took classes at times that had physical activity after school. Mostly what I remember is not being able to eat one bite over feeling full, my portions were small. I wish I still was like that. Americans seem to want, need, to feel stuffed after a meal to be happy with the meal.

@FutureMemory Most women I date look like that, if not a bit smaller lol. Imagine the heckling I got from my guy friends growing up ><

Jeez guys, I apologize for asking this. It was meant lightheartedly.

@Adirondackwannabe It’s all good :) It was lighthearted for me at least.

@Blackberry Thanks. I just threw it out there for a little fun, but some jellies took it way too seriously.
Guys, for future reference, if you see a question by me in social, it’s meant for fun. And be nice to each other!

@Adirondackwannabe What I find very surprising about this thread is there were not more men saying they much prefer thin women. I don’t mean they have to be skinny, but pretty much every man I know doesn’t find overweight women attractive. I am not talking about an extra 20 pounds, but an extra 40 on an average height woman is noticeable. Also, I am not talking about someone we already know or love necessarily, but just scoping out women in a room men tend to be very visual and full of testerone from what I can tell.

@JLeslie Men are visual and loaded with the t stuff, especially when they’re young. I think as we mature, it becomes more about the interaction mentally. Maybe?

@Adirondackwannabe I think most men young and old value the mental interaction in the end, I am not trying to make them out to be only obsessed with how a woman looks, but I think at first glance they notice how a woman looks in terms of weight or where she holds her weight, while women tend to look at faces more when looking at a man. Studies show men care more about a body than face when observing women. I was out with friends and one of the men was looking to hook up that night. At first I thought he was just scoping the room, like women do, not looking to actually take someone back to the hotel. Anyway, I pointed out a woman I found attractive, and he said my choice was no good because when the woman is naked you don’t want her to be very overweight. Meanwhile, his current girlfriend could stand to lose 30 pounds.

@JLeslie I’m going to have to think on that one for a minute.I guess since he was going for a hookup it might be different. And, he also has a girlfriend?

@JLeslie Some men also like various body sizes. It can also depend on where they are in their lives and what they are used to. If I’m used to dating larger women, I may want to switch it up and try a smaller woman, simply to try something different lol. If I like it, I’ll do it again, if not, I’ll go back to bigger women. But this can also probably just be a thing from young men that are sexually active or are just looking for that woman that is perfect for them.

@Adirondackwannabe He was single at the time when scoping out the bar, I should have been clearer. The girlfriend came along several months later.

The bar was out of state, it would have been just a simple hook up. Honestly his comment put me off. Just reinforced for me don’t have a one nighter ever.

@JLeslie I just realized my code of honor has overcome my sex drive. I was going to be bummed that he’d cheat on his girlfriend. Maturity sucks. :)

@Adirondackwannabe :). That makes me happy.

@JLeslie where did that come from?!?!?! A coke back in the day was small, now it’s super size? What is the need for that?!

All the food was smaller! How did we develop a need for a pounder hamburger and such?! I would imagine

@mrrich724 It’s a vicious cycle. Once people started getting heavier, they need more food to feel satisfied. I certainly don’t blame McDonald’s for all the supersize fat laden meals in restaurants and fast food. I seem to remember Big Gulps at Highs or 7 Eleven? Also, I think drinks are served with way more ice now, so the huge cup doesn’t have quite as much drink as one might think compared to 30 years ago. I had never heard of free refills until Ruby Tuesdays came to my town. I had never seen such a large entree until I ate at Cheesecake Factory. I never heard of sweet tea until I moved to the south. A girflriend of mine who runs a weight watchers group just told the mixed vegetables at Firebird steak house is 6 points, because of all the butter they dump on them. I was annoyed at Outback steakhouse when I ordered steamed green beans and I could tell there had been a hu k pf butter on them, only because they did not quite heat them enough. Who assumes the menu item steamed green beans has butter? Restaurants brush butter on fish and steak before they serve it to you many times so it has a nice sheen on top. Chefs are still taught to add fat for satiety value and so it feels good in your mouth (which I do not like, because it tastes mushy or fatty to me, I like my food towards the dry side). As long as there is hidden, not obvious, fat and calories in foods, America will never get better.

@JLeslie – speak it!

I slipped into a mini-depression after eating (not by my choice) at a Cheesecake factory. Where can I start? First of all, the general rule with restaurants is: the smaller the menu, the better the food. The Cheesecake Factory brags about how big their menu is. Mexican, Italian, seafood, etc. All of it was corporate, processed crap that tasted like crap and tasted like it was made of salt, fat, and chemicals. The “mexican” tasted just like the “italian”. The people around us were stuffing their faces with obscene amounts of “food”. At one point, a boy threw up on the table. The staff cleaned it up, and everyone went back to eating.

Most people seem to have such a dysfunctional relationship with food. What is considered “food” by many people I find unrecognizable – and vice versa. I work with somebody who has admitted to being afraid of the produce section of the grocery store. I can’t imagine bringing this guy on my trip to Whole Foods or the farmer’s market.

Walk into a traditional supermarket and try to find actual food. I’m not talking about the boxes full of processed crap. I mean real food. What percentage of the food in the market is real?

@tom_g I like several dishes as Cheesecake, and I love the decor and service at the restaurants. I just would prefer a smaller portion of food. Some of the dishes are disgusting though. And, I never get Mexican food there so I cannot comment on that.

Apparently, guys truly are more judgmental of looks.

An interesting and relevant study to update this thread.