Pick one only. What's more important in a marriage---romantic love or the love based on care and trust that develops between partners over time?

Falling in love is the easy part.

Working to keep love alive is a lifelong pursuit.

The answer you are seeking is option C- both of the above.

Trust is vital- without it no love will survive. Affectionate, romantic love must always be present too- or the relationship dissipates to roomer status.

Keep in mind that the definition of romantic love changes over time and during life challenges.
What was once roses and chocolates, is replaced with tender care or a kind gesture or act. Romance is knowing, without words, that your soul mate is there.

Love based on trust and loyalty is definitely the most important part of any relationship, although a romantic love is vital too. The combination of both is what makes a marriage successful in my opinion.

Unconditional love or as close to it as two humans can create

The care and trust is most important, but having both is best.

I would even say that having romantic love at some point is enough to satisfy wanting romantic love, even if it fades. The people I know who were never head over heals about their spouse, eventually yearned for that feeling in a relationship. Those who had it once, but lost it, generally seem able to be satisfied with the progression of the relationship if they do indeed have the care and trust. This is not based on any study I have read, just people I know and what I have observed.

For either answer, effort and patience is involved. Even if two are completely smitten and “in true love” with each other, unless they continuously put their best effort to keep the relationship vibrant, it will whither away.

Romantic love may or may not be the initial reaction to one another. Strong bonds may develop because of similar values and the romantic part may be part of the relationship later. I think feeling you could work together to live a good life is most important. Trust and loyalty are part of that good life. Finding ways to make decisions so you are both satisfied with the outcome is essential. Communication is extremely important. And, for me and my spouse, a sense of humor is paramount.

Love based on care and trust is very romantic.

If you are contrasting the mad feeling of attraction and desperation that often attends the beginning of a relationship with the calm feeling of affection and devotion that develops over time in a relationship, I would say that the latter is more important. The ancient Greeks called these different feelings ερως (eros) and αγαπη (agape). ερως always burns away over time. Indeed, its fleeting nature is commonly understood to be part of the feeling’s very definition. Those who succeed in maintaining their relationships are the ones who realize that there are other forms of passion than that initial feeling, but that there is no substitute for αγαπη.

I will always go with the love that grows in time and is based on trust in the other partner.

Probably having a strong base of romantic love is most important.

I also think the latter is more important, but I do think that romantic love and caring love go hand in hand most times. After 12 years of knowing my husband (been married 11 years), we still have a healthy combination of both, but the absolute romance has dimmed a little bit.

The caring love is so important, though, because you need that to make it through the rough patches, when your romantic love is diminished. Without the comfortable, caring love, a lack of romance would kill the marriage. I hate to use a cliche, but my husband and I are “comfortable as an old pair of shoes”.

We like our comfort, we like our rut; it suits us. We still spice it up here and there with various forms of intimacy outside our norm, but having that comfort of “caring love” is priceless.

I didn’t know those two were mutually exclusive or that a married couple should have friend-like love due to many years together. To me, I pick romantic love and I don’t believe it dissipates.

I think we need some sort of working definition for “romantic love.” As the term is used in the social sciences, it is guaranteed to dissipate unless the relationship does not last beyond a certain amount of time. Under less operationalized understandings of the term, however, it need not go away. These uses pick out different feelings, however.

At this point in my life, I would rather have romantic love. But at the same time, I think that it is possible to extend romantic love to last a lifetime. I will be in love with the person I choose to spend the rest of my life with.