What little bit of schadenfreude do you wish for?

If we can go back in the time machine for a moment, I would delight in seeing the doctor who raped my mom suffer in any awful way that could happen.

While I generally think of schadenfreude as something really bad, I can’t put together a good answer after @tedibear‘s post.

I don’t want to debate the point. I understand people’s desire to get some pay back. Do as you must.
But…
I have experienced it.
When all is said and done, it is not that satisfying, and leaves one wondering if they have placed their own soul in jeopardy.
It is sort of like drinking too much at a party. It seems like fun at the moment, but the next morning you feel bad, sit around, and waste the day.

I always thought it would be funny for a parent who hated some group of people, for their kids to procreate with, marry, or be whatever they hate.

Some people are simply too dense or too egotistical to connect the dots and “get it”, even if something bad were to happen to them.

I’d like to see J.T. Battenberg’s III‘s yacht, purchased with ill gotten gains, run out of fuel while in shark infested waters off the coast of Somalia. .
Too specific?

A girl I work with is always off “sick” (with a different ailment everytime), coming in late and leaving early. I would like her to get her comeupunce as she is on a very good wage and is often messing up (I imagine because she is not here enough to know what actually needs to be done).

I had a professor who was condescending and patronizing to me and some of my fellow students for years e.g. she advises some of us and when we run into problems with research or work, she’d assume she knows all about the nature of our problems/issues without even listening… she far too eager to attribute problems to personal failings, which we highly resent. I was glad to find out from the college grapevine that she had some personal problems of late that took some wind out of her sails

@josie Just to be clear, I am not talking about actually taking revenge on someone, or doing anything to cause something bad to happen.

I have this one ex-boyfriend, and for some reason, whenever I hear things are going well for him, I have this huge sinking feeling. And when he’s miserable, I feel relieved. Pretty messed up.

@snowberry So very true.

None.

I’m generally hoping that the other party will somehow “come to their senses” and have a horrible rush of guilt. They’ll beg me for forgiveness, which I’ll administer slowly and with prejudice. Yeah, yeah. But I also wonder what atrocities I’ve committed unwittingly for which others are seeking schadenfreuden.

I would like my best friend’s most current ex wife to regret being such a bitch in dragging out their divorce and settlements. I’d like to see the courts reverse her alimony and for her to discover the many she cheated with and left her husband for has been cheating on her, all along and with people from Myspace, Craigslist, etc.

I can’t say it outloud.

All those cops who gave me so many tickets with the “just because I can” reason. i want to see them endure some misery too. But I doubt I’ll find to much pleasure in it because after a few seconds will make me think it’s bad to suffer for things they did wrong in the past.
But karma’s a b*tch.

@josie really nailed it.

I’m trying to figure out exactly why this discussion makes me uncomfortable. I think the old buddhist quote, “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger”, is really onto something. But that isn’t it completely.

Someone works with a girl who is always “sick”. First of all, how do we know that this girl isn’t always sick? What if this “girl” is my sister, who has MS and misses more than her share of work? What if this coworker was someone like my coworker who’s teenage son was murdered, and missed more than his share of work to attend the long trial?

Sometimes anger at a fellow human is not justified – even if you feel like you know all of the facts. We have no idea what other people are going through. In a workplace environment, if the absence of a coworker is causing problems within the workplace or causing you to feel that you are overworked, the target of your anger should really be at your boss/management. Express your concerns to them. They need to know that you do not have sufficient help to do your best work. They may actually be aware of unusual circumstances that your coworker is going through.

Sometimes we walk through life expecting everyone to act exactly as we want them to. When driving to work, we might find ourselves stuck behind some car going 5 mph under the speed limit. “What are they trying to do to me, get me fired? I’m late!” “Maybe they’re too old to drive – get the f*ck off the road old man!” How often do we stop to think about that other person? Is it possible that that “old man” was recently in a car accident and is now quite shaken up? Is it possible that the “old man” just recently lost his wife due to a car accident? Maybe he is feeling extremely ill and just on the way to the doctor to get his cancer treatments.

I don’t know about you, but giving this driver the benefit of the doubt has true benefits for me. I could get all worked up, then ruminate all day about that old man who made me late for work, and how I hope he f*cking dies or whatever. To what benefit would that be to me? My heart rate would go up, I wouldn’t be 100% there when I finally showed up for work, etc. If I can let go and give that man the benefit of the doubt, I can arrive at work with a clear, calm mind that is ready to work. No increased stress. No anger. No suffering.

Of course, I’m talking about minor day-to-day interactions with people you come in contact with (coworkers, friends, family, etc). I’m not talking about extreme circumstances where someone has been beaten, raped, or murdered. I’m talking about the people who just drive us crazy and make our lives more difficult. Try to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I don’t miss the non existence of this word in the English language. I expect and receive much more than ‘good customer service’ from doctors and nurses and they have my respect and admiration.

@tom_g 95% of the time I think like you. I also think @picante gave a great answer pointing that we ourselves have probably unwittingly hurt others without malintent.

If am repeatedly hurting others with my actions, I hope I can be better in the future. I want the idiots who have hurt me, I am talking in extremes here, repeated incompetence, to be better also.

@JLeslie – 95% of the time I think like I do.

I don’t really believe in Karma in a mystical sense, but I get a smug sense of satisfaction from the misery of nearly anyone I think is a “crappy” person (a vague, subjective term). How much misery I find enjoyable is proportional to how “crappy” I think the person is. If a lazy, obnoxious, gossipy person at work got fired, I would be thrilled. If he/she got cancer I would feel bad for him/her. If Casey Anthony survived 3rd degree burns on 75% of her body, I’d be pleased.

I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I’m glad for the media circus and grilling that the Murdochs are going through right now

My freshman year of college, I actually had a professor who accused me of plagiarism because he said my writing was “too good” and that I “couldn’t possibly have written [this] essay without any outside assistance.” He gave me an F and didn’t change my grade to an A until I challenged him.

He wound up getting fired a few months later. He was a cantankerous old asshole, but he was beloved by most of the student body for some reason, and they all protested when he was fired. I, on the other hand, derived some sick satisfaction from it.

Does that count?

I’d be pretty happy if certain CEOs had painful deaths.

I agree with some of the above comments that we shouldn’t wish actual and lasting pain on people, but I do own up to the feeling of satisfaction when someone’s cruel or totally callous, and they get the same back to them. It’s that moment where you can say, “Oooooh, now you know how that feels!” Most of the time I give a lot of leeway towards being understanding and tolerant, but there are some points where it goes beyond reasonable into…. “Excuuuse me!?”
That being said, how can you not love these guys?
@JLeslie GQ!

I really don’t want anyone to suffer, but I am looking forward to peeing on my ex-bosses grave.
Hope the line isn’t too long.

When I found out that an old girlfriend that broke my heart had gotten divorced, I secretly hoped her husband had brutally dumped her so she would know what it felt like.

I would love for this country’s wealthiest 1% to suddenly find themselves, their families, and their associates poor and in need of public assistance.

@GladysMensch And have to wait in line outside a public gov’t building to get their assistance.

@tom_g GA! Very thought provoking. You never know what the other person’s life is like until you walk in their shoes.

However, I still hope J.T Battenberg’s yacht runs out of fuel off the cost of Somalia.

The CEO of any phone company that doesn’t provide signal reception nationwide, to get stuck with car troubles in a remote (well, doesn’t even have to be remote with some providers) area and not being able to use his cell to contact for help.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I had that happen in college, too. I told her if she was accusing me of plagiarism and it was going to affect my grade, then she needed to take it to the ethics board. Or else I would. Her choice. Bitch.

I just want to be a fly on the wall if a certain person I know ever gets put in her place about being a loud, annoying, bragging, know-it-all who people go out of their way to avoid. It would be extra good if someone told her to STFU about her kids’ astounding intelligence, beauty and humor along with insinuations that our own children will never measure up.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard My husband had the same thing happen. I was there, helped him research his paper and watched him type it. Nevertheless, the teacher insisted it had to be plagiarized, although I don’t remember what grade he got on the paper. Anyway, now he’s working on his second book, and he writes as good as he ever did.

Tea Party candidates losing all the Republican presidential primaries.

In German the word is mostly used for moderate mishaps or the restoration of justice and fairness. For example when arrogant people have been warned several times, but wouldn’t listen. Lessons learned in this case is considered a good thing. I think in English Schadenfreude has a somewhat stronger and far more negative meaning.

@mattbrowne Alas, I fear Tea Party candidate Michelle Bachman will take Iowa, and will hence be a threat.
Our best hope is her ignorant mouth. She bragged she was from the same town as John Wayne. She was mistaken. Turns out, she is from the same town as serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

Just when we thought there could be no greater joke than Sarah Palin, Bachmann appears.

Oh boy…