This might be a little late in the answering process but a lot of what you are discussing depends on the market you are in.
Some anecdotal evidence:
I bought my first house in suburban New York in 1991. The asking price was $379,000. Our agent explained to us that there was a “great deal of flexibility” in the asking price. So our initial bid was $269,000. This was in a buyer’s market in the 1991 recession and the sellers were in the midst of a divorce.
They countered somewhere, we countered and gave them a “highest and best of $313,500. We ended up at $315,000 after they agreed to a faster close than planned.
So in that particular marketplace, asking prices bore absolutely no resemblance to the sale price.
Fast forward a few years to our relocation to North Carolina. Saw a great house, asking price was $305,000. Our real estate agent was “shocked” when we offered something like $285,000, telling us that the asking price was supposed to be right at the market.
We ended up at $299,500, when they wanted $300,000. I was really firm on the last $500.
My attorney also commented that there was usually no bargaining in this market.
We are still in that house so I don’t know what the market is like now.
But as you said, it is overwhelmingly a buyer’s market and you should take advantage of this. Do not be “embarrassed” to submit a low bid, even 20% below asking price. There is no shame in saving money. If your offer is accepted then the asking price was 20% too high. If not, make another offer. If the seller won’t come off his price, withdraw the offer, make another bid in a few days. Houses are not moving and unless this house is a rare find, it will still be on the market next week.
Make sure you have an experienced attorney, familiar with real estate in your area, review the offer to purchase along with any documents prepared by the real estate agent before you sign anything.
If you get stuck in the negotiating process, figure out what you want like furniture or a quick close or a concession at closing of some of your fees. Maybe the seller wants to see a certain number as a selling price but for some reason will rebate or pay some of your closing costs. When I sold my first apartment, we were stuck some $1,500 apart. So we split the difference and I threw in a piece of kitchen furniture that they wanted and would not fit into that first house that we bought.
It never hurts to ask.
SRM