How do you tell someone that your relationship was not meant to be?

Pot or no pot, if this other person is the other parent of your child, this person will always be around, simply because of the child between you two.

We all make mistakes, but this was a major mistake for you. Your situation reminds me of people who get drunk and have a one night stand, without really knowing each other. Your child should be the center of your attention now. Were you two married? You did not say.

You got yourself into this situation and now only you can straighten it out.

You now have a clear head and mind, so just tell it like it is. Sometimes, the truth will set you free, other times it will not.

You can’t break up with someone without hurting their feelings. It is impossible, unless he also wants to break up.

If the other person is the parent of the child, there is absolutely no way you can get rid of this person, unless you get a restraining order.

“Not meant to be”?!?! – by whom?

The you-make-really-bad-choices police? Look, you’re head is (presumedly) on straight now. You want to make a better choice for you and your child. There’s no shame in that. Quite the opposite – you should be proud of yourself.

But don’t hide behind bullshit like “meant to be”. Be honest and admit to him that you no longer want that life for you or your child. He won’t understand. He’ll be hurt or angry. But who cares – your child comes first.

Now if he is the father (and I’m not assuming he is), it gets more complicated as he has (limited?) rights. If he’s not onboard with your lifestyle change and makes heck for you and the kid, you’re gonna need an attorney – and maybe a restraining order.

For the record…. not trying to boot him out of my life, just out of the relationship. Hes a great dad and I would never take that away from him.

It’s apparently been a few years that you have been together. You should talk to him about the fact it is time for him to grow up as you have, and that you will work on the relationship if he does and if he matures. And also tell him if he doesn’t, that it looks like you have out grown him and it is time to move on.

And perhaps start by saying no smoking weed around your child.

@zenvelo thanks for the feedback. Both of us gave up smoking once parenthood entered the picture so luckily that is not a problem.

The trust has been gone for a long time and the feelings are quickly diminishing. Id really like to keep our “relationship” friendly for the sake of the kid. Honestly that is the only reason I’ve stayed is to see if perhaps I could overcome it all and maintain our family but every day I feel like that is more impossible. I think were beyond working on it, and I know its my decision to give up which is what makes it hard for me to know how to approach the conversation.

@abysmalbeauty In that case I would lean towards talking to him about having grown apart, and that you want to move on with your life. Reinforce this with reminding him yo’u’ll be involved with each other as parents, but that you need something more and different.

You can do this without assigning blame or being critical. it won’t be an easy conversation, but it can be done honestly and without being mean.

@zenvelo thanks, i think that’s exactly what i needed

How do you tell him? Actions speak louder than words. Coming home to find you gone…
he’ll get the message.