How do you go about purging your mind of a bad thought?

Sorry about Splotch. That’s a tough one. And no easy out for those who cared for him. My dog Bart fell eight stories down an elevator shaft. Crushed us both. Took a long time for me to get over that one. Didn’t find him until after his body baked in the July heat for a month. I cried for weeks until he came to me in a dream and happily licked my face to let me know he was very happy where he was and thanked me for being such a good friend.

Hope you feel better Hyp.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Thanks for the though. Splotch was Charcoal King’s little sister; same mother different litter. I have seen some fairly horrible stuff, even seen a man stabbed once, but I hardly remember it. Even when my former neighbor’s pit bull had CK in a death grip in its mouth when it attack the cat, and I had to literally pull the cat out of the dog’s mouth to safety I hardly remember. It seems like every 8 to 10 minutes it reloads and plays like some bad replay; the SUV, that flashing moment where the cat tried to run across, the sound of crushing bone and the throes of death and there was nothing at all I could do. Just trying to concentrate on simple things I can’t do because I cannot erase that or tape over that memory. If there is a way to do it, I have not found out yet.

@Hypocrisy_Central : I’m very sorry about Splotch. It’s tragic.

I twice witnessed terrible car wrecks. In one, an elderly man was killed. I found that concentrating on household chores worked best for me. I would talk out loud about exactly what I was doing to keep my mind occupied. I did this washing dishes, pushing the vacuum cleaner, pulling weeds, anything mildly physical. The key is to talk about the actions you are doing as you are doing it.

Again, I’m sorry about your loss, and good luck.

I am sorry to hear about your cat @Hypocrisy_Central. It is awful to lose a pet but especially in such a way. I think really it’s just about time. I am not sure when this happened but if it was recent, you need to get some distance timewise between you and the event. Certainly, you can try to keep busy and talk about it if you need to.

It takes time, sometimes when you try to block out a bad event or something that makes us hurt, the more we push away, it comes back to us. So it takes time to get over something. Allow yourself to heal. and while you are healing keep yourself busy, talk to people who u trust. It’s normal to want to vent, block things out, and find quick ways to forget about something. It will pass. I would say if you feel things are too tough to breath in and out deeply, or go somewhere quiet where you can meditate. You can also draw,write,or paint to express yourself and keep from going insane from any loss you have. Hope this helps :)

I’ve had my pet cat for 10 years, I treat her like she’s my daughter so it’s hard for me to think what it would be like to lose my cat. My heart goes out to you and I hope you heal <3

R.I.P. to Splotch.
I am a worrier, and it drives me insane when I try to purge bad thoughts, only because of the mere fact that it makes me think of it more. As @SoulEscape said, it does take time, time heals a lot of pain. When I get into one of my worry-fits, I do something I love (throwing a rugby ball or weight lifting are usually my escapes). I also surround myself with people I know will take my mind off of the bad thoughts. Ignoring the bad thoughts is nearly impossible and has never fully helped me, but I do strongly suggest to search for comfort in activites you love to do.
My uncle recently died, and my last memory, though a good one, keeps coming back to me and after I think of the good memory, it bothers me that he is gone. I’ve finally cleared my head of the bad thoughts by taking a vacation to my Grandmother’s house. R.I.P. Uncle Art.
Without being redundant, I will just suggest the two methods I suggested above, and I really hope they help.

Sorry to hear of this tough loss. How it occured makes it all that much tougher.

Time and working through it is the only way you can help minimize the bad thoughts.
The close emotional tie that you had is the reason your mind plays those images of the bad thoughts because of the loss.
Replace those thoughts with all the positive images, sounds, and memories you have. It will take time, but by focusing your mind on the positive can help minimize the negative.
You still however must take the time and space and energy to grieve.

There is also Rainbow Bridge that can help.

Again, I wish you swift peace through these tough thoughts.

I’m sorry to hear of your loss, @Hypocrisy_Central. I know how hard it can be to lose a pet, especially when it’s a sudden and unexpected loss. Thanks for posting those pictures – Splotch was a beautiful kitty.

I fear that time might be the only thing that’ll heal in this case. Try to take it easy, and don’t feel bad about mourning. Allow yourself to grieve, and eventually it’ll get easier. Every time you think about Splotch and the sad image of her accident comes to mind, consciously replace the image with a good memory of her. The photo that you’re using as your avatar right now is a great one, as well as the photo of her on your keyboard. Think of some of the sweet and silly things she used to do, and let the good memories take over. I hope they’ll eventually overpower the bad.

@blueiiznh beat me to it – I was going to post “Rainbow Bridge” as well. Regardless of your beliefs, it’s a sweet story and a nice way to imagine how Splotch is spending her days now. If there is a place like the Rainbow Bridge, I betcha my sweet little Esme is showing Splotch where the best birdwatching can be had.

I wish you the best.

I keep my cats in side the house at all times. Only time they are outside is when the exterminator comes….once a month and then they are in a cage. At least they will never be run over by a car. I am so sorry for your pets demise.

I’m very sorry for you loss. It is so hard to lose those images.

I once saw a rabbit that had just been hit by a car and it’s legs were still moving even though it was torn in half. The image stayed with me a long time.

It will take time for the image to fade. Every time it starts up, replace with with a happy image of Splotch sitting on your lap or playing with her brother.

I am sorry about your cat.
Purging those thoughts is not an easy thing.I think it just takes time.

You don’t…just adds more cuurency to how short and precious life is and I hug and call those I love!

I worked as a medic on an ambulance for years. Some memories never go away.
Sorry.

”...there was nothing at all I could do…”

Freudian Slip my friend. It’ll play over and over in your mind until you finally accept that there was really nothing you could do. You’re reviewing it constantly because you’re trying to find something you could have done to prevent it. And in that prevention, perhaps turn the clock back to that moment.

I couldn’t get Bart out of my mind until I finally accepted that there was really nothing I could have done to save him. I’d keep telling myself that, but I didn’t come to believe it until I reviewed it a million times over.

I’m sure you are doubly pained because Splotch is so tiny and super cute and beautiful. I’m sure you feel obliged to protect her. There was nothing you could have done Hyp.

So sorry to hear of Splotch’s death. I think RealEyes hit the nail on the head with this—you’re playing the story repeatedly and looking for different ending. We all do that. I can only imagine the horror of losing a human (a child, for instance) in similar circumstances. I don’t now how people move on from that.

The tape will deteriorate over time, and I’m hopeful that you can find lots of happy moments to replay intermittently. Again, my sincere condolences to you.

That pain is over for Splotch now. Keep repeating that in your mind and hopefully you’ll feel better soon.

For me, one of the worst feelings to experience is the inability to do anything- I can relate and am tremendously sorry for your experience and loss.

I haven’t seen death in front of me, but I’ve seen some terrible things that I couldn’t stop—I run things in my head over and over, even small events, and can make myself physically sick this way. The things I saw sent me over the edge for a while. I came to realize that it’s a side effect of having strong emotions and that’s okay with me- I’d rather feel than not feel.

My way of dealing is to try to do something visual and physical- framing a picture, doing artwork, cleaning, yardwork, even picking out and hanging a windchime. What I try to do is make a visual spot that brings good feelings for me when I see it. Or I talk to friends. You came to the right place- your Fluther-friends where you’re much loved.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies It’ll play over and over in your mind until you finally accept that there was really nothing you could do. You’re reviewing it constantly because you’re trying to find something you could have done to prevent it. I logically know there was nothing to be done once it happened. But as much as I try to not play the woulda, shouda, coulda game I keep going back to crucial moments the last 15 minutes before it happened. Like should I have looked for her before I crossed to make sure she had crossed? When I 1st noticed she had crossed, should I have hand-carried her back across, etc? It is all moot now, but my mind keeps going back there even when I know what is done, is done.

I am sorry to hear about your beloved pet. When my dog was hit by a car, that memory played over in my mind for a long time. Unfortunately, there’s no way to purge a negative thought. If you try, it will only come back with a vengeance (it’s the “don’t think about elephants” phenomenon). So, as painful as it may be, you need to allow yourself to feel the pain and sadness caused by your loss. As you know, it will be intense at first, but the memory tapes do fade with time.

Yeah man it’s tough. You’ll second guess yourself and really throw off your routine for a while too.

May I suggest a task. One that will distract your mind from the bad and present a new duty designed for good. You seem to have quite an excellent collection of photographs of Splotch. Consider going through and picking out a favorite or two, or five, and get them printed as photos for framing. The task of assembling the frame will take your mind elsewhere for a moment, as will the task of running to the photo lab. You’ll have something of her to hold in your hand, real and tactile. Artmart and Wallmart both sell montage frames that display a series of verticals and horizontals. You’ll have to distract your mind for a moment to plan how to lay them out, all the while spending time with her.

Either one shot enlarged to 5×7 or 8×10 would look great, or a series of 4×6 photos arranged in a montage frame would be fab.

From Splotch’s facebook photos, I love number 12. She’s so adorable there! If going with multiples, #1 and #2 are beautiful, and would look great beside #12, #7, #8 or #11. Maybe you have more to chose from. Just an idea to acknowledge what she meant to you, while distracting your head from the bad.

@Creole Bastard knows an artist who painted a portrait of his friends lost cat with some of her favorite toys and possessions. It looked great!

I don’t have any very good coping mechanism for these types of things; unfortunately I think oftentimes the only thing one can really do is grieve and wait for the pain to subside at least a little bit, so that eventually you can think back fondly of better days without as much of the sharp pain of loss accompanying it. I’m really sorry for your loss.