Could you fall in love and be with someone who had debts? Say you met a wonderful person but behind him/her were some serious debts.

I think it would depend on how the debts were incurred and what type of debt it was. Perhaps if it was medical debts, I would not have second thoughts.

Otherwise, I might be leery.

I would need to understand the entire context and circumstances under which the debts were incurred, how the person had been addressing the situation and what future plans are in place to address them. It’s certanly a red flag, but it might be a flag that could be lowered a bit after some probing/evalution.

One word: prenup.

Zen!!!!

Nope. I’m over 50 now and there is no way I would take on anyone elses debt.

Of course, I have no intention of ever marrying again, sooo, not an issue. lol

Like @marinelife said, if it were medical debts than maybe it would be ok. Otherwise, if they charged up credit cards, went shopping for stuff they could not afford, or something like that, it would be a huge red flag. Gambling problem? Drug problem? Ex that they’re going to blame all of their problems on when in reality, it takes two to tango? Shopping issue that they just like to live large and don’t have a pot to piss in? I don’t think I would deal with these issues, and I definitely don’t think I would want to marry someone with these financial problems that would affect their credit. Eventually the person either has to pay back the debt, which affects us both, or they live with them, which effects us both in that creditors will be calling, their credit will be affected, maybe we can’t buy a house together, or he can’t take out a car loan and then this affects your style of living and comfort level.

Is the person on track to pay them off in a reasonable time?
How was the debt incurred? The answer can be anywhere from med school tuition to drug use.
Only you can answer these.
It is a serious warning sign. Tread lightly. I’d go with the Prenup like @Zen said.

We missed you.

I would be very careful. I would certainly do what @zen suggested and have a prenuptual agreement. I’d keep the titles of things in my name, if I could. I would make sure that my partner had a plan to get out of debt—a workable plan.

On the other hand, depending on my resources and if I wanted to marry this person, I might just pay off the debt for them. That is if I really loved them and really thought this relationship would last. I doubt if I would take this option.

Most likely, I would live together but not marry until the debt had been taken care of. I’m assuming it’s credit card debt or debt from a failed business. I have an instinctive mistrust of people who run up debt that they can’t pay. I’m a saver, not a borrower, and it’s hard for me to imagine being with someone who wasn’t like that. Security is important to me.

Fall in love with? Yes… share a bank account, credit card, lease agreement, anything legal and binding with, etc with? NO. Not even for medical or school debts. If we got married, I’d help with daily expenses so they could pay med and school bills down, but would still not give my signature or name over for sharing, ever.

Depending on how the debts were incurred, sure and I did. Kinda. My fiancee has 3 teens from his previous marriage so he pays child support, braces installments and all kinds of other stuff. I know this is a lot of money on his end but I enjoy what we have together enough to be ok with that. I think I feel this way because I don’t need his financial support to meet my obligations. If we were a traditional early 20th Century couple and I was expected to not work, keep the home and take on family activities then I might’ve looked for a different, less encumbered husband before falling in love.

Debt to who?

The government? .. no problem we will just go to another country. Repo men? .. same deal, just avoid them. Loan sharks? tricky… but we can pull it off. Mafia? erm… yea… so, I don’t think we should see each other anymore, what this? oh no, I just fell down the stairs, it’s fine.

Don’t put your name on anything his/hers is on, anything. It will drag you down. And never co sign ever.

Repeat: Never co-sign anything, ever. Say that 3 times to yourself!

Also, don’t lend this person money, as they are likely to be full of promises.