How do you talk to a kid about another kid's behavior ?

So, kid, what do you think about that kid?

My apology…do you mean how to talk to your child about another one being on the way? Or are you looking for something else?

@Pied_Pfeffer Oh, maybe that’s it lol.

If you are speaking about a baby on the way, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT phrase it in any way as asking permission. A friend said to his son, “Joey, Mom and Dad are thinking about having a baby, what do you think about that?”, to which Joey promptly said, “no thank you, you don’t need another baby, you have me.”

We told my son, “Mom and Dad want you to know we’re going to have a sister for you”. This was after a sonogram, about 20 weeks or so. We stressed this was something the whole family was going to be happy about and how he would be the big brother.

Also, don’t tell your older children you have a surprise. Our sons were hoping for a trip to Disney World, instead they got a stinky little sister. Yay for surprises!

No. Not talking to my kids about others. If for instance you see kids in the park playing and one would be cruel to another [without knowing it]. How would you talk to a kid about his friend.

Or things similar to this.

I’d say something on the order of “Remember what we talked about being considerate of others? How do you think that boy in the red shirt felt when the boy in the blue shirt bumped into him and he fell down? You don’t know? If someone did that to me I’d feel sad that nobody cared to see if I was all right.”

“See that kid? The one on the left, near the slide? Yeah. He’s a schmuck and not a nice kid for shoving that other kid. That is not how you treat people. Got it? Good.”

Just flat out truthfully- like you might with your husband or friends, always stressing how bad the other kid might feel or how you would feel.

I ask questions.
How do you think ___ felt when ____ did ___?
Why do you think ___ did ____?
Do you think ____ had another way s/he could have expressed his/her feelings?
etc.

I am also completely honest about my feelings. I don’t necessarily tell her what to feel about something, but there are times when she wants to know how I would feel, or how I would handle something.

“You see how that mommy is hugging and kissing that lovely boy?”
“If you start behaving, then maybe mommy will start loving you too.”

Just like you would talk to anyone else.

I have to do this often with my son so that he learns empathy and gains social knowledge. I do it the same way @tom_g does it, but in statement not question form.
“I think _________feels ______ after this _____ happened. Then, I ask him a follow up question such as: “Do you remember a time you felt like that?”

I have a daughter who is 4, and one of the other girls in her pre-school acts pouty when she does not get her way. I can’t stand it, but I don’t say anything to my daughter, because she has not started behaving that way. Hopefully it’s something she will never start doing. It’s not cute behavior for a child to cross their arms, look mad and pout.

I would be like “What’s up?” and then I would say what I have to say about the kid that you are trying to talk about with another kid. I have done this with my little brother and it seems to work all the time.

Thanks for replies ^^

I have always talked to my kids much like @cprevite wrote above. One thing I would be careful of is not to teach your child to be judgmental. Such as “see that kid over there, he goes to THAT church! That’s bad and he is going to go to hell.” Or, “see that kid over there. Look at how FAT he is. And what a horrible shade of RED hair!” You get the idea.