As a parent, how do you think you would you cope with your child committing murder or some other heinous crime?

I think I’d be very disappointed. I don’t think I’d stop loving them . I wouldn’t like it but it would be very hard us, since we raised him/her. Even though his life experiences are his/her own we’d think it’s our fault.

I would be very saddened. I would still love them, but I would not feel close to them.

@marinelife if they get a conviction I think that’s when they most need us near them. So even if I’d feel apart I’d visit a lot just to show them my support.

This is one of those scenarios I don’t even want to contemplate…....so I won’t.

Well two things come to mind. One what were the circumstances that lead up to the murder.And two would be all about the victimes family and what I can do to help. Also I cannot see my boys kill . well maybe their girlfriends

The worst thing any of my kids did was probably getting involved in gangs and drugs. She was arrested just outside a drug lab (hers). She had been making, selling, and using meth for about 5 years. The cops all knew her by name. We had told her repeatedly we would not bail her out if she was ever jailed, and we held to it.
I think my reaction would be the same as Anders Behring Breivik’s father.

I cannot even imagine what I would do. Honestly I think it would haunt me constantly, I would feel guilty every day and I would always wonder where I messed up in teaching my child respect for human life.

I really don’t know how I would react other than with profound disappointment. However, as parents we must realize that our goal is not to raise good children, but rather to raise good adults. Unfortunately, like most endeavors in life, it is possible to do everything right yet still have things go wrong. Regardless of how close we are to our children and how fantastic a parent we are, at some point our kids must leave the nest and become the people they are destined to become, for better or worse.

I could not cope. I would be shocked beyond all sensibility. It would not be possible to believe this or make sense of it. I think it could only happen if they got a mental illness (which, given their genes, is entirely possible), and so I would try to advocate for them and get them care.

I’d be so sad for my kid, kind of helpless since the deeds were done and what else could I do that would impact anything further they could do positive. The bigger thing for me would be the guilt and sadness of whatever my kid did to others and me feeling forever connected to that. I would feel burdened and tainted by that.

It’s impossible to speculate on something that horrible.

I truly believe the pain would be awful.I ‘d have to believe my son needs to navigate through his life, and no matter what he says or does, good or bad, This is his journey. The only way i see myself coping is to just believe God is holding him, and he’s right where he’s supposed to be.
you gotta live and learn,
crash and burn . you gotta live and learn so you can learn to live

Thank you everyone for your answers to this question. I sincerely hope none of us ever have to contemplate managing this in real life.

You would think that a normal response would be “what had I done, or not done to have my child become this way?
Also it depends on the reason why something occurred.
Sometimes people get killed in a life an death struggle by accident or in assiting anothers safety.

@Bellatrix Excellent question. Thanks for linking it to this one. As a parent of a bipolar child who did commit crimes, though thankfully not murder, my heart goes out to the families faced with this.