How do parents feel if they've had one or more of their adult offspring living with them for awhile?

I lived with my parents until last year. My mom said I spoiled her, because I did most of the cooking. She’s reminded me of that fact in the past week several times, since I’ve been cooking for the family after my father had heart surgery.

My 25 year old brother still lives with them. Money’s tight all around, and my parents don’t seem to mind.

Of course, my other brother lived with them into his late twenties. That was a different story. I think my parents were annoyed sometimes because there were periods where it seemed he wasn’t doing anything at all.

I have to let them grow up to see how they will feel. My mom died when i was young so I wouldn’t know from personal experience and my dad was living abroad so I was alone from around 18 and I had to take care of myself.

My friends lives can bring some insight. If it’s a big house/apartment they can live together since it costs a lot to keep it in good shape not to mention that bills can be high nowdays. These parents do not mind because they understand what’s up with the situation.
But I have friends who do not like this fact. Living with the parents after a certain age sucks.[or so they say] I don’t understand why they don’t change it.

When I got out of college, Mom told me that I was welcome to move back home, but that I would have to pay rent and abide by their rules, which included an 11pm curfew. The underlying message was clear: they loved me, but were done with raising children at home after 30 years of doing so from the oldest to the youngest (me).

I found a place to live. Her next message was: I won’t show up on your doorstep without an invitation, and we expect the same of you. It was a valuable, non-offensive lesson about adult courtesy. I love that woman.

My sister and BIL have a similar philosophy. After one of their sons made a bit of a mess of his life, they told him that he could live at home and that they would pay for his basic living expenses as long as he continued his college education. If he wanted gas and pocket money, he would also need to get a job. That slightly troubled young man landed on his feet. He graduated from college last year, has his own place with a roommate, a full-time job and is happy.

Tough love can pay off.

Both of my daughters & my son have lived with me after they were grown (fortunately, not all at the same time). For the most part, I enjoyed having each of them living with me, although it took some adjustment on my part & on theirs. Due to a divorce & a job loss, my son has lived with me the longest & I know that he would really like to get back to work & back out into his own place. Hopefully, for his sake, this will happen soon. Personally, I enjoy having him here, we share a lot of the same interests & he has a keen mind (besides that, he plays the guitar). So I will miss him when he finally gets back to work & back out on his own.

If one of my children needed or even wanted to live with us as adults for awhile, I wouldn’t mind it. Actually I’d like it, because in our old age, we’d have someone to take care of us. I think it’s awful how some adult children just abandon their parents when they grow up and move away. It’s much more common in Asia for adult offspring to live with their aging parents——it’s actually to be expected. Here in the West, it’s considered odd or wrong, and that’s a shame. If my offspring needed help financially as adults, they can depend on me for that too.

My daughter is 23 and lives with her boyfriend, so far she has not needed to come home again. I’d adapt but it would be an adjustment for us both again, I am very spoiled being single and having the offspring launched these days. I cherish my space. lol

Of course if it was a hardship we would work it out.

My sister still lives at home. She’s twenty-three and looking for a job. My parents are really cool with it since they give her all the freedoms she needs. Honestly, she’s out so much working or socializing it’s terrible fun whenever she is in fact home.

I don’t have kids and I’m not old enough to have adult kids. But if it was me I wouldn’t care until they where in their 30s, and as long as they where going to school and cleaned up after them selfs. Really 26 or 27 is pushing it all ready but it would be a for sure thing that if they are under my roof starting at 18 after they are out of high school they are in college,making good grades,they better finish college, and then start they’re career, I would let them stay at home one more year after college to save up to buy a house or just to save up money to fall back on, and they will be out after that year in an apartment. If they don’t want to go to college they can get a job at McDonalds and get a crappy apartment until they decided that they where ready to start college. Unless they get rich and famous some how. But even then I’ll kick there but if they don’t go get an education. It might sound harsh but I have seen several women in at least there 40s still living off their mom cause they didn’t get an education. It wasn’t all ways that they where lazy some just didn’t have time to get an education cause they ended up having kids young and they still worked there butts off and helped there mom pay the bills and bought food. hopefully I’ll pound it into my kids head hard enough to not do shit like that. Ill be the mom that tells her kids if you have sex you will die. Then go through slides showing S.T.D.s at their worst…yeah that’s going to be me.

My daughter is 42 years old and currently living in Seattle. At the end of August, she is moving back to Tennessee to live with my wife and I. My daughter is an RN and very intelligent. Why is she moving back….you ask?

My daughter has Lupus. How was this contracted, we do not know. She wants to be under the protection of her parents and rightly so. In Seattle, she will leave behind her family of children and grandchildren. This was a tough decision for her.

We welcome her with open arms.

My brother has lived with our parents on and off through his twenties. He has had a lot of trouble getting on his feet, and the last time he moved in my mom said he could only stay there if he went to therapy, which she would pay for. He moved in, but did not go. It was a rift between my parents because my dad wasn’t helping her enforce the condition. In addition, it was challenging for my mom because she was working while my retired dad and brother would watch baseball and play scrabble all day.

Most of the people I know who’ve got adult kids living with them or have had adult kids live with them express a bit of disappointment and frustration along with the hope their kids can find their own way.

Stuff happens, families come together to help but most feel help should be temporary and not a new lifestyle choice. Me, the kids would have to have some sort of catastrophe happen in order to come live with me. They know they are junior adults right now and are expected to be learning to take care of themselves which means deciding on college or jobs.