In your experience, is it always better to be aware of the saying:"let sleeping dogs lie" ?

No. That hinders communication. For example, if some was abused in some way by a relative, and just grew up holding in anger and resentment, and possibly projecting that onto others, that type of situation could be helped (possibly) by speaking up to someone.

@ZEPHYRA – This is a question I’m working through right now. And the potential issues that @Blackberry wrote about are what I’m trying to avoid. It’s a tough decision, because I don’t know that saying anything will set things right. It may simply bring hurt to the person I most do not want to hurt. Truly, in my situation, I don’t know. In general, it depends on the issue.

@tedibear you are right, it depends on the issue. In some cases you just have to go ahead and make things right no matter what, in others it’s best to keep your mouth shut.

@ZEPHYRA – I was going to say that it also depends on how big the issues is. However, I think it depends on how big the issue is to the person wrestling with it. Things like abuse, in my opinion, need to be talked about so that they can be resolved in some way. Things like, “You took my favorite doll when I was six,” (and it wasn’t part of a larger problem) from someone who is 40, to me, that can be let go.

It depends on the circumstances. There are times when I have weighed up the pros and cons of pushing a point or opening something up again that isn’t resolved and have decided that it just isn’t worth it. It might be I don’t see the person usually and the event is a one-off situation and it would upset others for me to drag something up again.

On the other hand, I have had situations where they really do matter to me and I can’t just let things be brushed under the carpet and pretend everything is fine.

I prefer to leave the past in the past! Life is too short to keep bring up past issues that do nothing but eat up precious time fretting over.

I guess it depends on the situation.

I had a lot of built up animosity toward my grandmother for making my childhood uncomfortable. Before she died, I shared my feelings with her and she was quite surprised. She always believed she was making me stronger. She never saw herself hacking away at my self esteem.

I think we had a better understanding of each other after I revealed my feelings to her.

On the other hand, you often risk creating new problems when not allowing old grievances to die.

A judgement call either way.