Grammatical help with a paper, any takers?

I’ll look at it.

Brilliant @Jeruba… Please don’t be too offended by my lack of grammatical talents though!
:D

I haven’t figure out how to annotate it. Can you speed the process by telling me?

The highlighter is next to the text color A… And you should be able to type where ever you like.

But how do you annotate it? That is, insert notes?

I’m afraid I don’t know that, however there is a discussion part that chris06095 seems to be using with facile, perhaps that is where you annotate.

Never mind, I found it under Insert. I’m ‘Anonymous.’

chris06095 is getting there faster than I am—figured out the tools more quickly—and is busily inserting and deleting commas and making other fixes that I agree with; so I think I’ll just sit quietly and watch as this paper appears to edit itself in real time—a dramatic transformation (not unlike that of the lycanthrope) that I’ve never had the pleasure of witnessing before.

@everephebe, are you changing it while we’re looking at it? Stop that. A person can’t edit a moving target.

Anyway, I have to go have dinner now, but chris06095 is doing a great job. Chris, are you going to show us your fluther face?

Sorry, I’ll go outside or something. This is like being naked on fluther.

Right click on “selected text” and “Comment”.

@CWOTUS are you chris06095?

That would be me.

You’re my hero.

Great job, @CWOTUS. I’m going to make a pass now and look for any crumbs you might have left me.

Excellent. I’m sure you’ll be able to correct some of my corrections, too.

@everephebe because of the general choppiness (from the spacing and quoting issues that have been noted) and the changes required in the text, it would be helpful to see a clean version on a new link.

You mean the block quotes? They are supposed to be spaced like that I thought, in MLA. I can provide a new link but I’m not sure what it is that you would like to be different.

I’m attempting to re-format a single spaced version now. Ok I think I fixed the spacing.

Ok, I’m done. I stopped trying to copyedit; @CWOTUS has done a terrific job of that. I have a larger problem with the organization and structure, as I noted at the end. You’ve got a lot of good material here, but it’s almost as if you had assembled it at random instead of arranging it in such a way as to present a series of interrelated main points supported by your examples and excerpts.

If you could rebuild it around a clear thesis from which proceeds an orderly argument that reaches a substantiated conclusion, you would have a paper that’s twice as good as this one without doing any new reading or research and even without a whole lot of rewriting. Much of what you have could be used as is. What’s lacking, it seems to me, is a high-level view of what you want to say, which then leads to a systematic presentation.

What she said.

Yeah I basically could have used a week to write the paper instead of two days. I don’t really have a point except that man is man’s wolf… and it’s due in an hour and a half.

The mirrors, man, the mirrors.

But ok. Clean it up and let it go. And next time give both yourself and us more time.

I like the mirrors too…
And I’ll do that next time. (Next paper is due Wednesday, grr.)

And did I say thank you? No? THANK YOU, thank you, thank you!

You need to take the time now (well, “allow yourself the time”) because you haven’t taken it before in exercising the craft. You have to write, edit, rewrite many times until you can get to a point where this paper would be no big trick (other than the reading and mental preparation for the points you want to make). I’ve frequently written dozens of pages in a day of fairly technical work (or written a summary of someone else’s work, or a critique), but I can only do that… because I have so much practice doing it.

The paper has been turn in. Thank you all for your help, I’ll let you know what grade it fetches.

Oh my god I meant to say “turn-ed in”... geez louise
And “it” of course should be “the paper”. grr… at least my next paper is much shorter.

This is the note from my Professor I received back on the paper:

“Excellent work overall, Daniel – a solid improvement over the Life of Pi paper in that it kept its focus solidly on the argument. Very good contextualization of the wolf/man both in terms of psychology and cultural history. A-” [for the paper] course: A

Thank you @CWOTUS and @Jeruba and others, your help got me this grade.
It would have been an A but I turned it in a day late. :D Cheers lovelies. Thank you.

P.S. Going with the mirror theme helped. I completely redid my thesis with the idea of mirrors.