Therapeutic relationships. What are your thoughts on this scenario? (Details inside)

It’s absolutely about money. Only people with the financial resources can get that sort of support, and those who need it the most have to struggle on without it, unless they live in a place where they can find it from a charitable organisation.

There is nothing “unconditional” about a therapist/client relationship – and one of the major conditions is being able to pay the bill.

That being said, I can see how a “relationship” can develop (at least in the client’s mind – especially considering all the emotions and private issues shared.

A good therapist will keep that professional line clearly visible, and, ultimately, it’s simply a medical relationship.

A therapist is a doctor for your head, in the same way that a plumber or contractor is a doctor for your house. If you cannot pay your doctor or your plumber, you go without their services. (This is why it’s a big deal when people can’t get medical care.) In those cases, though, you don’t expect that the plumber or doctor is your buddy and they’re helping you out because they really like you, and just take the money regretfully on the side. They’re in it for a living and so is the therapist. People just get confused about the therapist because it’s the mind, not the pipes or bones, that they’re working on.

It is all about money. You are paying them for a service. The therapist is not a friend. I do kind of “use” therapists at friends sometimes. Pay them to listen to me. There have been times in my life when their advise and conversation really helped me understand myself and make some major life decisions. But, there have been times I just needed to talk things through, and friends and relatives had heard enough. I knew I was paying them just to listen to me, basically an artificial friend at that time. Therapists main goal should not be unconditional support, the goal should be to make you better so you can be productive and happy in your life and create support systems for yourself without the need for ongoing counseling. Some of it depends on what your diagnosis is of course.

It doesn’t bother me that I pay him money even if he provides me with support because I agreed to the terms of our relationship prior to beginning in. That is, I knew I’d pay him money before I began to trust him. The trust and the support was something that came later and has developed over the years. However, I wouldn’t say it’s all about money because when I really didn’t have any, he didn’t charge me and when I couldn’t pay the co-pay for my meds, he got me meds for free or wrote prescriptions to my mom (who doesn’t have a co-pay with her insurance), etc.

Then again there are ways to get free and good support for some emotional problems but most do not like them.

@Hibernate Like prayer and stuff?

Many therapists will work with you on a sliding scale. I had a great therapist during my divorce almost 9 years ago now, and she only charged me $20.00 a visit after I was no longer on my ex’s health plan and struggling to get on my feet as a single person at that time.

Therapists have to earn a living like everyone else, but, many will work with you during a financial hardship.

The only thing you can be sure of in a client/therapist relationship is that the client will have to give the therapist money.

I asked my therapists if they liked me. I don’t know why. I wouldn’t believe the answer unless they said they didn’t like me. I asked if I was interesting. Same deal. I guess I asked just to see what they would say and how they would explain it.

I accused them of saying they liked me just to be nice and not make me feel any worse than they did. My shrink went into a serious song and dance about how he does not lie. My therapist went into a song and dance about something similar.

But you know? I’m not sure if it matters if they like you or not. You pay them. They have to do what you want. I don’t usually hold anything back from the beginning because I believe in HIPPA. That is, that they will honor it. If I’m going to hire someone to analyze something, why would I want to keep relevant data from them?

I was lucky. I got a couple of people I felt comfortable working with from the beginning. They appeared to respect me. They did not condescend. They did not try to run trips on me or tell me to do things. Well, maybe once or twice.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir no. There are groups for therapy not involving preaching / religion / God that are free but most people quit after a session. They don’t want to share the problems with the rest and most do not like to wait for others to receive help before them. Just like AA.