If your mom or dad died, God forbid, do you want your remaining parent to find a new SO?

Hahaha parents are divorced. Couldn’t care less even if they were together.

My mom is 88. I really wouldn’t care at this point. Maybe when she was in her 50’s but that would’ve been because my dad had passed away only a few years before. By the time she was in her 60’s I would’ve liked it if she had a companion.

I would want my parent to be happy. Period.

Of course, no ones wants to imagine their parent sad and alone.

If my dad died, I wouldn’t really have a vested interest in what his spouse did afterwards. He just married her 3 years ago, and I’ve only met her once or twice. She seems nice enough but I don’t know her well enough to really care.

If my mom died, I’d want my stepdad to remarry, and I’d consider him and his new wife part of my family. Even though they didn’t get married until I was in college, he’s been a part of my life a while.

@keobooks Thanks for your answer. I guess I did not really acknowledge step families that have been intact for many years. That was an oversight of mine. :).

Mom has hooked up with lots of guys. I think she gets laid more than I do.

Absolutely.

My dad did almost die a week ago. I don’t know. I doubt my mom would, I don’t think she’d be any happier if she did.

Been there, done that.

Firstly, it is pretty natural to be resentful of your parent’s new spouse. But here’s the bottom line. You do not have a say in who somebody else chooses to love.

On a more practical note, having somebody to share their life with is a blessing, not only for them, but for you as well. Would you rather your parent be out enjoying life with a good partner, or hanging around your house and poking their nose into your business all the time for lack of anything better to do?

Sure. It doesn’t seem likely though.

I have to answer this completely hypothetically as my parents are divorced and I haven’t even spoken to my father in years

I would think I’d be able to be genuinely happy for them if the new significant other was good to them. Of course there would probably be some bitterness, especially if I were close with the parent who passed away or if my parents had a really good relationship, but I think the well-being of the remaining parent would be my priority. I don’t think they should condemned to spending the rest of their lives alone (if they don’t want to).

As long as it makes them happy, who am I to butt in?

I was 12 when my father died. I was glad when my mother got a s/o. She’s not good at being alone.

I have no problem with my father wanting to be happy. My parents divorced about a year before my mom died. My dad has been dating a little over a year now, and he’s happy. To me that’s all that matters.

My mother has talked about this before. My father is sick and when he passes away she says she has no desire to be in another relationship. I’m fine with that. And if she were to find someone else, I’d be fine with that, too. I wouldn’t encourage it either way because my mother is on her own time schedule, not anyone else’s. Only she knows if she wants to move on, when she wants to move on and if she ever wants to find someone new. I’m sure she’ll make the right decisions that will make her happy and if she clearly expresses to me that she’s unhappy and wants my help regarding what to do with this facet of her life, then I’ll help. But I don’t feel it is my place to mingle in her intimate life and dictate if, when and who she should date.

@Vunessuh That’s a very nice answer. I’m sorry your family’s faced with this.

If they truly liked that person and it made them happy then of course. Yes they are my parents but they are also human beings who need to cater to their own needs as well. So heck yes I would be okay with it… or if I wasn’t I’d want to be okay with it to see my parent happy.

Yes, I’d definitely want my parents to feel it was ok with me to find happiness and/or if that’s what they wanted.

Yes. My parents are very much in love and have been married 22 years. I either of them died, after the remaining parent mourned and if they found someone new, then sure. My great-grandma got remarried in her early 80’s. she wore kickin shades in her indoor wedding and my dad told her he wanted an uncle.

About two years after my mom died, my dad went to a high school reunion and met up with a high school girlfriend. They ended up calling each other a few times, and had made plans to meet. When he told me about it, I was happy for him. He had been lonely without her and even if they had just been friends, it would have been nice for him. Unfortunately, he made the mistake of telling my middle sister who was not happy about it. She told him that mom never liked this woman (I think they met only once and who knows what my mom really thought.) and that it would be disrespectful to mom’s memory to get involved with this woman. My dad listened to her and ended up not pursuing anything – even further friendly involvement – with this lady. To this day I wonder if he would have been a little happier if something had developed.

I have already lived this scenerio and here is what we did.

I was 17 when my father whom was still married to my mother of over 20 years when he died and as a collective between ourselves my bother and 2 sisters approached my mother the day of our fathers funeral and told her when she is ready to she has our permission to re-marry. We knew how much she loved our father and we loved him too but we also didn’t want my mother not to have a love in her life just because my father passed away at a young age. I just don’t think it would have been fair to her to have been alone the rest of her life.

I did.
Then he married one I didn’t like.XD
Ah well,win some lose some.

My parents are divorced.
I don’t care what my dad does, I don’t live with him, and I don’t see him.
My mother dates, but I really don’t want her to get married again. I don’t want another “Father figure” after everything…

My Mom passed away. My Dad then met someone 3 months later. The women whom he started dating was uncomfortable around us and not genuine at all. He is still with her. The only thing that I truly like about her is that she keeps him busy. Right after my Mom died, my Dad was lost. He never drank prior to that, and now was out at the bar, drinking with his friends. We found out later that he often drove home from the bar in the wee hours of the morning, drunk. My Dad was 70 at the time that this was happening. Prior to her death, he was neat about his appearance. After, he would shower, maybe, only once every 2 weeks. So this woman whom he met after Mom’s death was good for him. I don’t have to have a relationship with her, though. I really don’t have any interest in having one.

My Mom and Dad were together for almost 50 years. My Dad says to this day that he is still in love with my Mom.

My dad did die and my mother did begin dating within a year of his death. I say “good for her” if only because she was always a secretive, dishonest, miserable person – so anything that might make her remotely happy (and therefore more palletable) is good by me.

Wherever she is, I hope she’s more content than when I knew her.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it.
If however, they get married ( that part’s totally fine ) and the new SO wants me to call them Mum or Dad, then there will be a problem.

It’s awful for us the kids to not let them enjoy the rest of their lives. Even if it’s not a long life they should get the most from it. And yeah if a step mom will want me to call her mom , well it’s not going to happen even if it’s the best person in the world. I rarely called my real mom mother so it’s not gonna happen. Started to talk about her as a mom only after she died, when she was alive I didn’t have to talk to others about her and when I was speaking to her it wasn’t necessary for me to say “Mom .. this , mom that since she knew I was addressing to her”.
If my father will ever remarry it’s gonna be good only for him, I’d appreciate any woman she chooses but for me she’s gonna be just a normal person.

My father passed away in 09. My mother and him were together for 44 years at the time.
She has not persued anyone. Her and I are a lot alike. My husband passed in 09 as well and I don’t have the desire to be with anyone. I have many of my own reasons. I will also be ok with any choice my mother makes. It seems though that because I am the younger widow more often than not I hear “you have your whole life ahead of you” even coming from my own mother. I certainly don’t think the amount of years you are with someone makes your connection any less.

My parents were both already divorced and remarried when my mother died. But if that hadn’t been the case, I’d still hope that my dad would find someone new.

My mother and my stepfather are both on their third marriage, and I wish them both happiness to offset the sorrow in the event that the worst happens.

Dad died in ‘92. We four ‘kids’ were all adults at the time. Many years later, when Mom started getting wooed from a few of her widowed male friends, we kids had a private discussion about the possibility that she might remarry. Our feelings were unanimous: we wanted her to be happy, but we really didn’t want to see her remarry. It’s shameful, of course, but that is how we felt. No one would say a word if she chose to, and maybe enough time has passed now that our feelings might be different since that discussion.

One time, I asked her if she would consider marrying one of her suitors, and her reply was, “Well, you know that I am no longer married. The vow was, ‘Unto death do us part.’” Wow. Wake-up call. Despite that, she made her intentions clear to her beaus, and they both moved on and married other ladies. Mom still appreciates the company of men (platonically, I’m sure), but she won’t take off her wedding band, and she still wants her ashes mixed in with Dad’s and scattered together when that time comes.

Yes, and if I die, I want my husband to find a new love.

My mum did die and my dad did find another partner. Can’t say in the long run his choice worked for me, and I am not sure it made him happy, but I never resented him being with someone else. I would always have wanted him to find someone else to love and to be happy.

My Mom and Dad got married with the intention of staying together “until death do them part”. If one of them dies, the marriage is over. That may sound cold, but that’s the way it’s always been in my mind ever since I can remember. If my remaining parent wants to get married, I hope he or she marries someone who is compatible with him or her and gets along with the rest of the family. I love my parents a lot and it would not be fair for me to get in the way of my remaining parent’s happiness if what he or she is doing isn’t wrong in any way whatsoever.