Would you believe your neighbor or your kid?

I would ask the neighbour if he saw your son doing it. If he did then I would believe him. If not then I wouldn’t.

innocent till proven guilty

Are there other kids in the neighborhood that have access? Maybe he knows your kids have permission to be back there so they are taking the fall for someone else.

If you or the neighbor has a game camera, set it up to cover the coop and see if you can find the culprit. Best not to tell your kids you are doing it.

I’ll share how we handled the situation. I’m just curious what others would do.

@tranquilsea I did ask the neighbor if he actually saw my son doing what he says. He said he did. That’s what really upset me because my son kept insisting he didn’t do it. However, the neighbor’s wife later said to me, “I told him (her husband) he couldn’t say anything because he didn’t see anything.”

@WestRiverrat I’ve never seen other kids near the coop, but our yard and that field border the middle school property. Sometimes kids go into the field looking for wayward lacrosse balls though.

@MissAusten in that situation I would believe my son but I would also reassure the neighbour that I would talk to my son and let the neighbour know your son was adamant that he didn’t do it but you would handle it.

Whoa whoa whoa. His wife told you he didn’t see anything?
Your son says he didn’t.
You’ve never seen anything.
And your daughter says it never happened.
He probably didn’t do it!

Given all the information above, I’d believe my children. For now.

I would believe my son and my daughter. The neighbor is most likely making assumptions based on what he thinks is going on based on the kids he sees in his yard most.

EDIT: BTW, our neighbor was certain someone kept “stealing” his political signs. So much so that he wrote notes on the replacement signs. I did not tell him as we didn’t talk much before he moved out that I saw them blow away on various windy/stormy days. His assumption was that someone was targeting his yard because my signs never moved. I happen to know that I made certain my signs wouldn’t blow away or get stolen by using heavy duty staples and extra stakes.

Considering the information given and having met the twelve-year-old, I would definitely believe your kids. It sounds preposterous that, out of nowhere, your son would start messing with the chicken coop. Also, if your eyes are on them at all times except for the five minutes it takes you to run to the bathroom, you definitely would have noticed something.

Given all the information, I’d believe my child. I would tell my neighbor that my child says he hasn’t done such a thing, but that I will talk to him to make sure he knows that such behavior would not be appropriate or acceptable. I would then talk to my child about the behavior and tell them that if they see anyone doing something like that, they should let me know as soon as it happens.

I would invesstigate theevidence and try to base my opinion on that.

The neighbor. Beating on a chicken coop is not a Felony and kid stuff plus too many details to discount any misdirected anger from the neighbor unless there is more to the story. Talk to the kid and ask them to fess up.

Your neighbour says your son has been doing those things. Other than the reason he doesn’t like your children and doesn’t trust them, why would he make up something like that to get them in trouble? If somebody damaged my property, I would want the right person caught. You said your neighbour openly invited your kids to be involved with his chickens, so it appears he likes your children and trusted them from the outset. So for him to accuse your kids all of a sudden——there must be a good reason to do so. Because he sounds like a reasonable neighbour to begin with, I think he’s being honest with you.

Everything @KatawaGrey said. I would also talk to your kids and ask them why they think the neighbor is accusing your son, they may know something the grown-ups don’t. And of course, before the summer is all gone @KatawaGrey and I need to meet the sons as well, to make more informed judgements… ;-)

Thanks for the interesting responses! My husband and I decided to believe the kids but are certainly keeping a very sharp eye on them. This particular neighbor (and his wife) have been driving everyone who lives around here crazy for years. He isn’t the most credible source.

In order to prevent any future problems, our kids are no longer allowed to play in the field. They can’t go past the rock wall at the back of our yard, which upsets them even though they understand the reason for it. Since the neighbor first approached me, the kids have not been near the chicken coop. I’m now always outside with them or constantly watching them and I know they haven’t broken the new “our yard only” rule. Our mutual landlord said he has known the neighbor to exaggerate and accuse people of things before and doesn’t believe our son did anything wrong. He said that field is supposed to be an extension of our yard, and he’s going to ask the neighbor to move the chicken coop to his own yard if he wants to get chickens again next year. This way, there will be no question of my kids doing anything wrong AND we don’t have to worry about this nonsense next year.

@Cruiser My kids learned long ago that when they do something wrong, there will be consequences. If they do something wrong and lie about it, the consequences will be much, much worse. I really don’t think my son is lying. On top of that, my daughter would have to be lying as well when she is way more likely to throw her brother under the bus. My kids aren’t perfect by any means and they do plenty of really stupid things. Lying is not one of them. Just the other day our daughter noticed some things missing from her room. We asked the boys if they took them, and they immediately confessed.

@MissAusten My son is a confess-er, too. ;) I’m glad to hear this is all being worked out civilly. Neighbor disputes can get ugly.

@JilltheTooth I agree! The next couple of weeks the kids have camps, but maybe we can squeeze something in before school starts!

@MissAusten: YES.

@MissAusten : What she ^^^ said!