How to keep a conversation going well?

How old are you? by the theme and content of your questions, I suspect you are still very young. Young guys are easy to scare with emotional stuff.

How about just having a couple of casual boyfriends for the next couple of years? wait until you know guys who have had some time to think and learn.

Well, er…..

@poisonedantidote I’m not very young. I just turned 19… I don’t go on dates because guys I like are extremely shy virgins.

Oh and once this guy came up to me in the bar, started conversation. It was going good until I told him about my movie project (I asked lots of people whats one thing they want to do before they die). He gave me the look and excused himself. That’s why I guess I’m saying emotional stuff… Maybe it was just him, I don’t know. I was 18 and he was 25.

@QueenOfNowhere Virgins just want to get their dick wet so they can tell their friends, they have zero interest in emotional relationships and serious commitment, and will only talk to you as long as they think they have a chance of getting you in bed.

Maybe try dating someone about 8–12 years older than you for a while, then you will get conversation and all the rest of it. Having said that, I would not put it past an older guy to just try and get in your pants.

Either that, or you could find your self a really desperate ugly fat guy who has never had a girlfriend, chances are once you convince him you are not tricking him so you can stab him in the back, that he will open up and turn in to a good partner for you.

@poisonedantidote Hahah… Actually that virgin, shy guy had no intentions like that. He was even afraid of approaching me let alone start a freakin’ conversation. He acted weird around me, walked faster than me, just couldn’t talk to me properly and looked at me with a blank face. Bah! I’m sure I’ll find someone fun and upfront. I just wanna learn the art of speaking… Sexy

@QueenOfNowhere I don’t think there is an art, it just happens.

Some people I meet, I say “hi hows the weather” and after that have nothing to say to them for as long as I live. Other people I can talk to for 10 hours, and be disappointed when they have to go, it just depends how we click.

As for this virgin friend of yours, he sounds very familiar, I’m quite sure I used to be him. Yea… you are going to have to do all the work, otherwise all you will ever be is one of his regrets.

You could more or less consider him disabled, more or less like a catatonic prisoner. You will probably never understand what effect your presence has on him. I don’t even think I can do a fair job of describing it.

Imagine how you would react talking to an armed maniac in the middle of some political uprising, he probably sees you something like that.

Go up to him, and tell him you want to talk to him. Then take him off some place near by where the two of you can talk alone. Tell him you have something really great to tell him, then say: “I just wanted to tell you that I really like you, but not in a friend kind of way, more in a boyfriend girlfiend kind of way. What I’m saying is I am attracted to you, and want to be your girlfriend, think about it, this is not a trick or anything, and tell me what you think tomorrow” Then kiss him on the lips, and walk out of there.

@poisonedantidote The real issue here is, its all over. Too late… I pushed him away after awhile because he drove me crazy by not making a move. So, being the evil girl, I was rude and hit on his friends etc which were wrong and I am sorry for all that. Man I just wish he had the guts, you know.

Let me ask you a question since you were like him… Why!

BLAH whatever. I guess you learn from your mistakes.

@QueenOfNowhere I really can’t talk for this guy, but can try and explain away the behaviour a little by recalling how I used to act.

If he was acting strange while you held his arm, it is likely the physical contact was making him freak out big time. On a school excursion one time, I was sat on the bus behind a girl I had a big crush on, at one point she turned round to talk to the person next to me, and she unintentionally put her hand on my knee instead of the arm rest. This caused me to freeze like a rabbit in headlights, at that moment in time, my entire existence boiled down to my right knee. I was just locked in an introverted world of deep madness.

This type of people are very unpredictable, and hard to read. It could just be that you holding his arm not instantly leading to sex minutes later, caused him to think he had failed, or some other things you are not mentioning could have triggered his odd behaviour.

This is all just a guess btw, I have no idea what this guy is like, he could just be an odd ball loonie, but if he is anything like I used to be, I could be half right.

Relax, the secret is to ask questions. Then, follow up questions. Make observations. Then give your opinions. Use your imagination and your sense of humor along the way. Some beginnings: Do you like. . . ? Have you ever . . . Did you ever wonder. . .? What’s your favorite. . .? What would you do if. . .?

I think it has to do with how good you listen.. If you listen closely enough to answer any of their pop questions then your more admired and as such the other person listens as well when it’s your turn to speak.

De Bono wrote a great book about this.

Here’s a simple tip:

Create knowledge gaps. Then relieve the pain.

My relationship with my girlfriend of over four years has taken place mostly over Skype, as she is in school overseas. When we first met, we could talk for hours, and there were rarely (if ever) any dead spots in the convo. As time went on, we have found ourselves short of things to say more and more often. But there are still many, many times when we can just talk and talk.

I think it is less about knowing how to keep a conversation going, and more about who you are having a conversation with. I am not a particularly great conversationalist, but there has never been a person I could talk with as well as my girlfriend.