Back to dating... what to do?

Surely you have friends who know single women?

Or just hang around Fluther. So many eligible womenssss!!!!

Grab redfeather.

Everyone is married!! I have all options open at this point…

@redfeather So many eligible women, not one of them in my neck of the woods.

Meetup.com has a lot of things you can do. You can do book clubs or game nights or something where you’ll meet people, some of them will be women, you might hit it off, or they have a lot of singles groups pretty much just for a) doing things away from the annoying newlyweds and b) pairing the heck off already.

What do you do in your leisure time? That is a good place to start…or maybe not? XD

WELL, that’s the thing I’m trying to figure out… don’t necessarily like going and doing things “alone” so… I’ve just been working late every night and then going home!

Don’t know bars clubs dating site street…

@lucillelucillelucille—WELL,get lost on your way home….find something to do that gets you out there.No one is going to know you’re available if you don’t get out of your house…

@Aethelflaed aw shucks, I spoke too soon.

The health club or a nearby park even a coffee shop would be good places to start. Get a puppy and go for walks and you will be stunned by the number of people you meet!

I’ll endorse Meetup.com also. There are groups with all kinds of interests. it’s not that you will or will not meet a woman there, but the more you out enjoying life, the higher your chances of meeting someone or someone introducing you to a potential date.

And I’ll mimic Dear Abby: Church groups, volunteer groups, take fun classes like wine tasting or cooking or dance.

@Cruiser Even better, borrow a young niece or nephew. Younger the better.

Are you kidding me?!?!. 31, VA benefits, BS degree, career?!?! Unless you are totally inked up or on drugs, you are right near the top of the desirability spectrum. If your fluther email is not full after this post, I’ll toss you into a room, let you mingle for a while, then drag you out keeping the leftovers for myself. Deal?

@Adirondackwannabe I still say the dog is best. I got a pup 3 months ago and meet new people ever single time I take her for a walk! The whole neighborhood knows the dog by now! Take her to the pet store and it is a mob scene!

@Cruiser Puppies and babies work on everyone, but once in awhile there’s a real hottie that’s a cat person.
Any person that’s offended by that can let me have it. I’m just playing around today.

Oh, yeah. Take to carrying a kitten around. You’ll have ladies pouncing on you everywhere. ;) haha

I have heard that some dating sites are good. You should try that. Or join some sort of society, like poetry or ready club. Take your dog out for runs in the park.

@worriedguy… lol, Yeah, my tattoos have to be found. And I like to think I’m a great catch! I guess I can see that I need to just start going and doing things… but I don’t want to come across as a weirdo asking people out constantly… So far my fluther email is empty. ;)

I’ll throw in my two cents for meetup.com. A realtor friend asked me to join with her a few years back for networking purposes more than anything but we observed most people ended up dating someone. My take is the people who really want to get out and do the things they love and want someone to do them with are brave enough to join this group and take action. Make yourself one of those people and you’re bound to meet a few people who are ready right now to do rather than talk about what they like to do.

People gather to go sailing, canoe-ing, surfing, biking, hiking, museum & gallery hopping, new retaurant openings, favorite restaurants, movie nights, ceramics classes at a local J.C., skiing, etc. Not only will your chances of meeting a good match be higher, you’ll also have a built in social group of singles and other couples, some of them might become friends rather than acquaintances.

OK, so women… assuming I start going to all kinds of places to “meet” people… how do you prefer a nice respectable man like me to approach you? It just doesn’t feel right (feels childish) to walk up and say something idiotic like, “So, I saw you sanding here and blah, blahlhh.” I feel like I might as well be f’ing saying, “Hi, I’m Zorton from the planet Nebulon 6, your specific combination of molecules is quite appealing to me.” lmao…

Oh man… every girl loves a man in a uniform…

I haven’t been in uniform for 10 years

I write software for a living… actually I manage a team of 11 software developers… any nerdy cute women that are impressed by that??

@v1kt07 The nerdy thing? Totally.

I think it is a bit cheesy and girls are generally put off by it because it happens all the time and usually it’s some douche-bag. But I think if your personality comes through and you appear genuine and charming, every girl would fall for that.

Oh and don’t play yourself down… you’re an entrepreneur, we like that.

edit: also, it is sooooo irrelevant that you haven’t been in uniform for however long.

We like former Marine nerds.

@v1kt07: Say you and I are among a group of people who met up at a restaurant we’ve all listed as a favorite spot. Single me out from the group and ask me how I came across the restaurant, how long have I been coming, what other places do I recommend? I’ll know you’re interested or not if you give me flirty eyes or smiles while we’re making small talk. If I seem interested in you then ask me if I’d like to come to the favorite spot or one I recommended together, apart from meetup.com. That to me would be a man asking a woman for a “DATE”. Have fun!

@sarahhhhh… exactly! I don’t want to come across as some troll that’s plugged into the Matrix because I…am…NOT

Be yourself.

@v1kt07 you really wont come off like that if you’re genuine. Just make sure you are not seen lurking around bars or clubs for prey so girls aren’t turned off automatically. Go up to whoever you notice and tell them what you really liked about them. Don’t go up to any fit girl though. That’s when guys become weird and sleezy. Only approach someone who actually catches your attention.

@sarahhhhh what do you mean any “fit” girl?

I meant don’t go up to any cute girl in an attempt to get into her pants eventually.

I think “fit” is a very British word.

ok… now I’m confused. I don’t want to come across as weird or sleazy… should I not complement appearance right away or anything?

@v1kt07 I’d stay away from starting off with physical compliments (especially about eyes. That’s what everyone under the sun says, and it’s always a lie). But compliments like “cute dress” or “I like that necklace” go more to her fashion sense than her physical form, so those are ok.

I mean to say just come across natural. If you really mean something and are honestly interested in someone it will show.

I don’t believe in dating. I believe in doing things you like to do. Maybe you play an instrument. Maybe you want to study meditation or yoga (yoga is great because the male to female ratio is about 1 to 6). Do you run? Like baseball? Coach soccer (meet single moms)? Do you read? Write? Want to work with clay?

There’s activities everywhere, and even if there aren’t eligible women doing it then, stick to it. The best way to meet someone is to be introduced by someone else. Make friends. Everyone wants to play match-maker.

Your first dates may not be dates, but group activities. It’s the least pressured way to meet someone. Nothing personal is at stake. But if you find someone you find yourself having a long conversation with, then you know something is going on. Just hope she isn’t married already.

How could I forget yoga?! Yes, yes, yes- if you have any inkling of interest whatsoever to do yoga then you’ll be surrounded by hordes of mostly attractive single women very very happpy to welcome a single attractive male into the midst.

My ex husband met several lovely interested women while in yoga classes and is now married to one of them; he’s a very very very happy man.

As a single lady of 31 I am a firm believer in meeting people when you least expect it. I have always found that when I have been content to be alone and really happy with myself someone turns up somehow… but doing the things that you love is sure to lead you there I think :-)

My husband is a computer geek @v1kt07. He’s extremely shy. We met near the pool of the apartment complex with both lived at. He helped his uncle the landlord out by doing lawns/odd jobs…at the time I was the leasing agent.

Neither one of us would ever “go out of our comfort zones” to date. It’s just not like us.

You did this once before. You can & will do it again.

Do you like to read? I see single women at bookstores all the time :) Drink coffee? Starbucks is a hang-out in my neighborhood.

Do what you like to do most and look around. Most likely there are single women that like to do that too.

If all else fails, I know real couples that have met and subsequently married on popular dating sites.

Hey @v1kt07 I’d like to introduce you to a sweet lady I know . Her name is @nebule.

@worriedguy awww thank you sweetie xx

Put yourself out there, just being in public will help. Go to places that interest you, ie if your into art, go to a show etc. Get where I’m coming from.?

@v1kt07 , I’d say don’t think so much into it. If you’re confident and comfortable approaching women, just be genuine. You don’t have to set out on a mission to score a date with every woman you encounter, but instead- maybe try making small talk. If you connect at some point in the conversation, about a sports team- something random going on in your nearby surroundings, goals, past experience (or whatever happens to come up), and you’d be interested in potentially getting to know her- I’d suggest saying something like, it was really nice chatting with you, maybe you’d like to get together for some coffee/lunch sometime….keep it casual, be open to meeting new people. Let the rest play out on its on :]

So how many PM’s have you received since asking this question? ;)

http://www.kaneva.com/

zero….PM…...s ://

@v1kt07 you might want to fill out your profile a little more…I visited your page, but can’t tell anything about you so… no PM…. xx

How bout now?

Oooo… I’m liking this…. Just a heads up @v1kt07 . She might be little far away for a casual date. But, she’s totally worth it.