How should I behave toward this person who I suspect does not like me?

It doesn’t hurt to be polite, but I wouldn’t go out of my way for someone that is showing signs of dislike.

Whatever the motivation is behind her dislike has no bearing on my thought. You’ve said “Hi”. She doesn’t return it. It’s done.

I would continue to say hello. That is who you are @jca, a friendly person. If she chooses not to like you or not to respond, that is her choice. That is who she is. Rise above it. Don’t stop being friendly because you think she doesn’t like you.

Hmm, maybe you shouldn’t have asked for $100…maybe you should have asked if it was paid first…I’d say that is what it is, $100 was out of the question. But there is nothing you can do about it now, though.

You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

Although, this tiff she’s in may be just a phase and she may grow out of it.If someone’s ignoring you, I don’t see the point in being nice to them.

Don’t be mean, but don’t go out of your way to be nice either.

Oh sorry, I didn’t answer the question. I’d continue being nice, show her what a nice person you are. Otherwise you are only going to have an enemy.

@lemming: I don’t understand the first line of your first response.

To clarify why I told the neighbor I would “babysit” for $100 for the night, here was my dilemma. The neighbor told me she wants to occasionally go away to visit her sister overnight. She told me she would need someone to stay with the son, no touching of him, nothing medical, just sleeping there, getting him food when he needs it, maybe it would be from around 6 or 7 pm to the next morning, say 10. Other people in the complex told me that she was in a spot, because she wanted to get away to visit her sister but needed someone to stay with her son.

My logic was, it’s my time, I’m a single mom so my free time is precious, I don’t really need to work “overtime” for money but if I’m going to do it, I want to get paid. If she went to an agency (for a personal care aide) she would pay at least $20 per hour in this area. Even if she paid someone $10 per hour, my asking $100 for about 15 hours is a bargain. I didn’t want to do it for free, or too little, because I don’t want the neighbor thinking it’s going to happen all the time. So I decided $100 was an amount that was going to be enough of a deterrent for her to not want it often, yet, it would be cheaper than if she paid a professional, and it would compensate me fairly for giving up my free time, which I consider valuable. I told the neighbor of my offer and she never took me up on it.

I suspect she told this other woman I’m asking about and she decided it was wrong of me to do, because when I think about it, it was around this time that she stopped talking to me.

I would also just keep being friendly and say hello, be polite, etc.
If she chooses to do different, then that is that.

What if you decided to be different to her and ignore her as she is you? What if a 3rd party noticed that in you? Don’t stoop to her level for whatever reason she is acting this way.

Unless you come right out and ask (and I don’t think that would get you anywhere), the reason for the change is not going to come to you.

Just say hello, you never know and one day she may realize her ways differently.

What ever her reason for not speaking to you is, reflects on her. You need to do what you feel is right for you.

Maybe I’ll change it up and say hi sometimes, and ignore her sometimes, just for the sake of variety!

@jca Variety is the spice of life, after all ;)

I would just not bother. There is no point in trying to force a relationship with someone who doesn’t want to bother to know you. Even if she did it for that reason, she should have at least made an effort to get your side of the story. Somehow, I think it may be for another reason. Maybe you kind of snubbed her before without realizing.
If you really want to know what is her problem with you than ask her if you may have done something to her that she found offensive. If she says no but continues to act the same than ignore her. If she says yes and you were in the wrong than appologize.

@Pandora: I didn’t snub her that I know of, because as I said, we used to be somewhat friendly. We never had any interactions that we anything but friendly. Chatting about her job, my job, as I said, she told me to bring my child over to play with hers. Now she turns her back, literally, unless I say hi (chop busting on my part) and she has no choice but respond.

It seems like there are three choices: 1.) Let it go; 2.) Continue to allow it to bother you; 3.) Talk to her about how you feel about getting the cold greetings, which might resolve the situation, or it might not. Which do you think might bring you a peace of mind?

I was in a similar situation with a neighbor of mine. This woman, for whatever reason, completely ignored me whenever I walked by her house. We did have a bit of a history though. She came to our house and complained that our cat was at her window meowing, keeping her baby up during the day, and asked if I would get our cat. She said she called animal control and they told her she would need to get a cage and bring the cat in herself. She didn’t want to pay for a cage, so she decided to come and ask me to get the cat. It pissed me off that she didn’t come to me first. I went and got my cat and I thought everything was fine. This is when she started ignoring me.

Some neighbors are bitchy. Nothing you can do about it. If you feel like being polite, be polite. If you don’t want to bother, then don’t. That’s what I did. I knew there was no chance I was going to change this woman’s mind about the kind of person I was. You know, the type that dare lets their cat out the front door during the day. lol

Seems to me that if she literally turns her back on you, you needn’t say anything. If she’s turned towards you and doesn’t meet your eye, you don’t have to say anything. If your eyes meet, you must at least say, “Hi,” in a friendly way.
Now, if you want to truly annoy her, I’ll have some other suggestions.

I think what @lemming meant was she might have been looking for a favor. For you to do it for free.

Maybe if months have passed and she continues to be cold you can just say to her, “I feel like there is tension between us, have I done anything to offend you, I want to clear the air.” or, you could actually state what you think it is and let her say yes, no, or other. The risk is since she seems a little passive aggressive already, it could actually get worse.

It’s possible she got turned off by your asking 100 bucks and expected you to be this sacrificing good neighbor. She may also have gotten the hint you wanted her neighbor to back away from asking your help by asking that amount. Either way, I’m willing to bet this is the reason why she does not acknowledge your greetings.

It’s better if you ask her flat-out one time if that’s really the case. No sense in saying hi to her knowing she looks at you in a negative light. Personally, I think she is being narrowminded.

If this were happening to me, I’d probably continue to acknowledge her when I saw her, but just with a friendly nod or something. Going out of your way to say ‘hi’ obviously isn’t helping, and might actually be hurting (maybe she feels it’s passive aggressive or something), but I wouldn’t feel right totally ignoring her.

I would not be rude,but if her reaction aggravates you too much,don’t bother going out of your way to do anything.

I’m with a lot of the others on the whole “just keep on being civil” thing. In my experience, asking her what’s wrong will only result in her saying “Nothing” and denial that anything changed. If she wanted to tell you why she doesn’t like you anymore, she would have already.
And, IMO, you were absolutely right to ask the neighbor with the disabled son for remuneration. If she had had a serious emergency, that would be different, but understanding that your time is valuable, and not “free”, is an important thing.

@augustlan Saying “hi” can be passive aggressive? Gosh, I nevee would have thoughht that. Then I would think she should say “hi” and also strike up conversation. Actually @jca, it is a thought to make conbersation with you like friemdly neigh ors, either it will push her to be rude and say something, or her brain will possibly insist on making you an ok person, because why would she be chqtty with someone she hates?

I think, once again here on fluther, we are overthinking things. It takes no effort to give a half-assed hello every once in a while. Even if it is ignored.

Couldn’t edit, sorry for the typos.

@lemming I don’t think so. I wouldn’t say hi to anyone if I’m bothered with his or her possible negative feelings about me. I say this assuming the one who posted the question is actually bothered.

@mazingerz88, there’s no need to get emotionally involved….you can just say ‘hi’, think ‘stupid bitch’.

@lemming Sure, there is that.