Why don't americans have butt-hole washers in bathrooms?
So in Europe, as far as I know, there are butt-hole washer things inside the toilet so you can wash your butt-hole after you do whatever.
So in America, butts stay poo poo?
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It is a little known fact that President Jimmy Carter in 1977 in his first month in office, wanted to sign a bill mandating outhouses for all Americans and due to a strong Republican push back a compromise was reached where a bill was passed that any indoor plumbing was limited to toilets only….virtually outlawing fancy bidets.
What do expect from a civilization that passes laws to limit the amount of water used to flush away what you excrete?
A butt hole washer would only increase the amount of water associated with the practice . That would be anathema to the currently accepted politically correct environmentally friendly rules.
Better to itch and smell funny than to use what is available to you.
I just can’t imagine how everyone in the streets in america has poo-ey butts… It’s not a cool fantasy
Would you be speaking of a bidet?
Hahahaha, “butts stay poopoo”...
Yeah I guess hahah.. in some countries including mine its attached to the toilet so its a little nail sized metal thing . and water comes from it while you are poo poo-ing
@josie Heck yes it makes a difference! I’m moving to america in 8 days… It doesn’t sound nice to meet poo-ey people everyday :/
That’s why we always shake hands with the right. Never, ever with the left….ever.
Oh good lord. Americans shower and wipe with toilet paper. We’re not all covered in poo just because we don’t use bidets.
@Mariah Haha.. Still I doubt all the americans shower right after they poo poo… they just wipe without water
@Cruiser LOL. ... because of that Standard & Poor’s downgraded our asses. :-)
Psssst! Baby wipes? Not just for babies. They also work for non-bideted asses after eating Mexican food.
Bidets are lovely but you can always be fresh and tidy if you carry small packets of babywipes in a handbag or in your car. A few decades ago I took to keeping them in each bathroom and have been addicted every since. In fact, each partner I’ve had has come to lurve babywipes too.
Few people understand the magic of so-called “baby wipes”. I grew up using those and when I lived in the dorms and went without them for a year, I realized what I was missing :\
Bidets are not necessary. Evan wet wipes are not necessary. It’s perfectly possible to wipe effectively with just paper and not be covered in shit. Now, bidets may be necessary for Europeans, though, considering they only bathe a couple times a month… ;)
@Neizvestnaya And then they’re also handy for when you spill a bit of something on you, or your hands are sticky, or you have one of those “feminine/unfresh” moments, or whatever…
Do go for Huggies. I recently tried Pampers, because they were cheaper, and was really disappointed. They were all soaked in liquid to the point of unusability, instead of being thick and properly dampened. I ended up having to buy Pampers again about a third of the way through.
Wipe with dry toilet paper + wipe with soaking wet toilet paper = bidet zero poo poo result!
When I first read the question, I thought you were proposing a job for a second bathroom attendant. I would definitely tip well for that.
@cockswain Hahahaa I read it again and thought the same
Why do the French have pissoirs in the streets?
Different people have different customs. In the Amazon jungle, roasted slugs are a delicacy. How come they aren’t a delicacy everywhere? Huh? Tell me that!
@wundayatta so being dirty butted is an american thing?
I always shower after poo-ing for this very reason. I just don’t feel clean otherwise.
Bidet – portable butt shower spritzer.
@FutureMemory What if you aren’t at home? Do you just feel shitty until you get home?
@cockswain I only move my bowels if I’m at home. I hold it otherwise.
We also have butt-hole washer here, in Indonesia, but it’s the manual one. It’s often a joke in my country when we refer to Caucasian that use tissue instead of water to clean their butt.
@Your_Majesty So you don’t use tissue at all in Indonesia to clean your butt? Only water? Just how strong is the water pressure?
“Butt-hole washers”? Really?
Do these butthole washers have sufficient pressure to do an enema too? Now that would literally be squeaky clean.
@FutureMemory Well, you can choose to use tissue if you want but most people here use their hand (soaked with soap) to clean their butt, along with water. As I said, most people, do it manually.
Ohhh, now that is one flawlessly clean butt….
People don’t know how to wipe properly?
3 wipes at the most and you’re done. Clean as a whistle. toot toot
and seriously, this Q deserve more than 5 great Q’s
Just gave its 6th GQ point.
We’re the greatest nation on earth. If you don’t think our butts are clean enough then you are more than welcome to take your money elsewhere; more than welcome to buy some other country’s treasury bonds. We don’t need you or your stinking money if that’s the way you feel. Oh shit! What am I saying! What was I thinking!
@lillycoyote hmm cool you might be the greatest nation on earth but you’re certainly not the cleanest ;D
For godz sakes it’s just shit!
@cockswain I haven’t gone camping since I was 10 years old ;)
omg, this is these are the best answers I have read in ages!!! There are too many great ones to congratulate individually, although @DominicX, I think you get the grand prize, but much lurve to you all.
I live in the sunburned country, we don’t have enough water to drink (unless it is flooding) much less to use for rectal sanitation. Besides, as has been said, baby wipes are not just for babies!
@QueenOfNowhere Yes. Just like the alleys around pubs are soaked in urine is a British thing.
But I’m with the baby wipe crowd, and I wouldn’t mind a bidet. Cleaning with paper is an uncomfortable thing for me. Maybe that’s why God made Cetaphil.
When did bidets first start appearing in British bathrooms?
Baby wipes aren’t water so it’s not as trustworthy at a point I suppose since you shit everyday
“Baby wipes aren’t water so it’s not as trustworthy”??? Is water the only thing that can clean you? I really, really don’t understand. Anything “wet” will do, and I’d guess that the formula in baby wipes does a bit of disinfecting that water can’t do too.
As a sidenote, does anyone know which has a larger environmental impact, the killing of trees to make toilet paper, or the increased water consumption of a bidet? I’m inclined to believe it’s the former and I support bidets for that reason, but really, @QueenOfNowhere, neither option leaves you covered in shit.
@Mariah @QueenOfNowhere is just being provocative. It’s just for fun. You are free to return fire in a suitable fashion. You could up the ante. Claim that Brits are dirty because they don’t shower and roll in baby powder every time they take a dump! LOL! Oops. Bad form to laugh at your own joke, but this string is ridiculous, so what the hell.
Hahaha dude from experience americans shower a lot! Which is cool! But their dirty butts stay poo poo until they shower. Not everyone uses baby wipes. Its not “attached” to bathrooms. Unless you always have one in your bag, that’s good for you ;D
Let’s have a Wash Your Butthole Revolution.
This is my favorite question so far this month :)
@wundayatta Right, sorry, have a bit of a bad habit these days of getting pissy on lighthearted threads. The bathroom is a bit of a touchy subject for me. My apologies.
Right, so, where are you from then, Britain? Our butts may be dirty but they’re probably cleaner than your teeth! Oh, zing!
@Mariah Hey don’t goof on the Brits about their teeth. It’s a big job when you have teeth like a horse!
@Mariah Are you talking to me? I’m in a country where cleaning is very important! Not Britain. Come on Mariah, forget the hardcore nationalism and find a cure for your butt!
@QueenOfNowhere Lol I am truly not nationalistic in the least. And I don’t even poop through my butt. Beat THAT in butt cleanliness!
Yeah, I don’t think anyone should be giving @Mariah a hard time about having a poopy butt – she’s the cleanest-butted of any Jelly :)
I actually thought about that when I read your first response, but didn’t want to be the first one to bring it up :)
LOL cleanest-butted. There should be an award for that.
Hmm, cleanest butt, that’s hot.
Hahaha @Mariah where do you poo poo from?... Your mouth?
I have an ileostomy (warning: link not suitable for the faint of heart) but that is probably not something anyone wants to hear about in a light-hearted thread such as this.
Point being, not a particle of poop has touched my butt in 7 months and anyone else who can’t say the same is DISGUSTING :P
I think Mariah wins this thread.
I was thinking colostomy bag but I didn’t want to say it because There was chance you might have been playing, or not. And then I would have felt bad otherwise.
I think both Brits and Americans should live underwater like jellies, then butt-hole clean up issues won’t matter and we’ll all be swimming in it and maybe even eating each other’s poo poo…and then we will argue on which poo poo tastes better! ( Mine’s more nutty and delicious than yours @QueenOfNowhere thank you! ) lol.
@Mariah We all have to live with certain things. Some people are lucky enough to be very healthy.
Some like us, I guess, should be happy because we can be even more amazing by accomplishing great things even though we have such disorders(or w.e.) to live with! woho
You go, @Mariah!
@QueenOfNowhere Where are you from, then, lass? What blessed bidet beriddled boondocks are you from?
@wundayatta its a secret. I’m from somewhere weird.
I was just asking why the bloody hell you guys don’t have to since I’m moving there! You know, I’m getting used to being shit butt-ed. Not trying to say, “You americans are filty, nasty dirty people who have shit all over your body”. I love americans. But I’m afraid to get in their pants.
@wundayatta I’m starting to suspect she’s from another planet.
Kidding, Queen, kiding…
When in Mexico don’t drink the water. When in America don’t toss the salad.
OMG, what an education I get in Fluther. Who needs a PhD, just hang out here, heheheh! Thank you @FutureMemory, I think???
@FutureMemory Indeed I am… Or I’m the center of the universe and you all are robots!
@everyone.
Whashlet. It’s not the same as the bidet – the bidet is separate from the toilet, for a start.
The basic mechanical principle behind the Washlet is pressure; the vent is small and directed, so the jet that issues forth is, for want of a better word, invigorating. However, the small vent keeps tha actual amount of water used to a minimum. It’s all about efficiency.
With that said, I can safely say that I’m glad my arsehole has never been – and never will be – cleaner than it is in Japan.
In all seriousness (yeah, I know, sorry), Americans have a weird inconsistency in their obsession with hygiene that comes from their latent Puritanism. Americans are expected to shower every day, brush their teeth three times a day, wear deodorant and perfume/cologne, and whatever else they can to avoid smelling like a human being. But talk about genitals and suddenly it’s all giggles and evasiveness.
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