You wake up in a different bed one morning, with someone you don't know lying next to you. You are in an unfamiliar house, and decide to look in the mirror, where you see a face that isn't yours. What's the first thing you do?

Smash my new wife, then take my new, most likely fast, car for a joyride.

I would have a panic attack, lock myself in the bathroom, and then pull myself together and pretend I knew what was going on until I could figure something out.

I would probably assume I was insane.

Am I just as pretty, is my house bigger, and is my car not leaky? If so, then I think I’d stick with it.

Scream and ask the person next to me “Who the fuck am I? and who are you?”

I would probably dial my husband and tell him. If he says no, I’m wrong that his wife (me) is there with him then I would ask him to ask her things only I would know. No doubt she would think she is crazy.
If its a matter that my husband doesn’t have a wife then I would assume I am crazy and having some sort of nervous break down. Or this is one crazy ass dream.
I’ll probably just then lay down back in bed and try to sleep and hope to wake up for real.
When that fails then I would hope my new spouse is hot and so is my new body. And I would tell my new spouse I have amnesia, and hope he can fill in the blanks.

Masturbate furiously.

I’ll try and make sure if I’m in the same reality as the one I went to sleep in. If yes then I’d try to gather as much information about myself as I could and try and get back home. If I am indeed in a different reality then I’d live the shit out of the new life.

Fix myself a drink.

@Blackberry

“Smash my new wife, then take my new, most likely fast, car for a joyride.”

Couldn’t you take your new car for a joyride without smashing your new wife?

@Blackberry Awesome first answer, dude lol
@athenasgriffin Solid call.
@megzybrahh123 Ah, but what if you had some new-fangled identity? What if the person next to you told you who you were; just that you were someone totally different than before.. o.O
@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard That is one hell of a Plan A, man.

@Joker94 I would still like to know who’s body I have and if i look sexy and I am rich then I would love to stay in that body till the day I die, even when I am like 100 years of age I would be like “OOO look at my sexy wrinkles” ;).

I will wait for the director to say Cut!

Figure out who I am. If I am wealthy, successful and happy, I just might stick around awhile.

Wait am I the same gender? Cause if I am a girl now, Fiddle wins.

Otherwise, If my wife was hot, I would probably see if the old me existed and there had been a brain/body swap. Then I would kill him.

Don’t panic. Locate my towel. Down a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster and then put my thinking cap on.

@Brian1946 Lol! Yeah, that’s rude. Maybe I’ll just have sexual intercourse with her instead.

Figure out if in my new life I have more money than I do now. Then I would follow suit with @Blackberry

I’m surprised at the amount of people totally willing to give up their old life for a new one..

Take my new, most likely fast, wife for a joyride. Then smash my new car.

@Joker94 I would obviously try to get back but I’m assuming that the question means: after we realize we can’t go back.

My next move will depend so much on whether the woman next to me looks like Rosie O’donell or Megan Fox and if my face on the mirror is that of George Clooney or Jack Black. Now if you added to your fantasy scenario that I will also wake up with John Holmes’ dick then we will surely be in business. If it was Megan, then oh boy, time for some Optimus Prime vs Megatron epic battle bed encounter. But if it’s Rosie, I’ll just pommel her face with my dick until she leaves.

Figure it’s a flashback to the 70’s and go back to sleep. It’ll pass. lol

That’s pretty much the premise of this novel.

@Joker94 I agree. Better the devil you know, eh? I wouldn’t give up my life not because it’s the greatest life in the world but because it not all that bad. I certainly wouldn’t give it up for some unknown quantity. My life is not all that bad and it could be very much worse. I think there’s an Aesop’s Fable that addresses this very issue but I’m not sure which one, maybe the one about the dog who has a bone in his mouth and sees his reflection in the water and that bone looks so much better that he drops it and then ends up with no bone at all. If that made any sense to you; good for you!

Call an ambulance… I’m going to have a massive panic attack, and I’m going to need one. After calming the fuck down, I’d ask to be checked for some kind of brain injury. If all of that goes well, then, to quote @asmonet, I’d have to ‘Nancy Drew this bitch’, and figure out what the hell is going on!

I’d probably assume I just got blackout drunk the night before and go back to sleep. After that, I’d probably become a cop or some such agent to get better connections. It’s obviously a plot perpetrated by the Chinese government, because, hey, they’re the new Russians, and I’m just searching to find a weak point to break their scheme, all the while hoping not too much has changed and working on getting the fuck back to America. Or, maybe I was just really drunk that night and took baby aspirin only for it to actually be LSD.

Err, brush my teeth!!

Grab a fag.

Whoever the fuck I am, they better be a smoker, cuz imma need one…

I think I would try to remain calm, grab a newspaper to see what the date and year was, and then see if I can find my wallet to see who it says I am.

Pretty sure that there’s a psychological condition along these lines. Once I settled down, I’d tell relevant people that I think I have it, or had it, and then try to fit in until the universe decides to stop messing with me.

@Jeruba This is similar to the premise of Quantum Leap..