How do you deal with people who give you silent treatment?

I let them be silent. There’s too much noise as it is. When someone decides to stop running their mouth and just silently suffer, I let them be. They have stuff to work out, and I’d like to give them the space to do that. Helps them. Saves my ears from their nonsense. Win win.

Ignore them. I don’t play those kind of games.

Tom and Adiron: I just cannot stand people give silent treatment, though I did sometimes but only for a few hours or a day when I calm down, I always like to talk things through…

If they’re someone whose friendship I value, I give them one—maybe two—chances to speak to me like I’m a valued human being. After that, it’s clear they’re not an adult, let alone a real friend, and I go on with my own life.

I once had a friend who I’d known since 8th grade. I was her maid of honor as well as her daughter’s godmother. Then we tried living together, and she promptly began treating me like a fourth-class citizen. When I tried to suss out what the hell was wrong, she’d just say she didn’t want to ruin our friendship… like being a bitch to me all of a sudden was nurturing it, right? Needless to say, we are no longer friends.

It all depends on what occurred to have the silent treatment imposed on me and who this person is and their relationship to me. The quickest and easiest solution is to tackle them and tickle them until they stop being a dweebcicle.

Peridot: I know the feelings, it is not nice especially if you value their friendship and expect them more….

Cruiser: So you would contact them until they speak to you?

@Cruiser hehe… “dweebcicle”. I am so stealing that… giving due credit when I use it, of course :D

@Londongirl srsly. It hurts to think about it to this day. I mean, if people have irreconcilable differences, that sucks—but at least talk it out first, especially if you have a history. To be considered a family member (by the entire family, btw) for years, then kicked to the curb for no given reason, was not a pleasant experience. I still can’t figure out what went so wrong.

Peridot: Yes I agree, I think silent treatment is for coward and immature kids who cannot own up things or resolve issues. Sometimes I think we need to cool down but eventually it is much healthier to talk things through…

@Londongirl Yeah, sometime it is better to hold off on saying something because in the heat of the moment you might go too far, but healthy communication is the base of any relationship.

I pay them as much attention as I do a passing fart, unless it’s the wife in one of her “moods” then i’ll quiver in the corner like a wibbly wobbly thing.

UC: I guess you meant you only give a shit about whom you care about….

That & the fact that the wife has a mean right hook & lots of pans!

I don’t believe in the silent treatment. It is petty and unproductive.

Someone who continued to engage in it after a discussion of the above would not be in relationship with me for very long.

I don’t deal with passive aggressiveness well at all. Generally, I address any relationship issues head on.

marinelife and Spatizie: Yeah agree!

Enjoy it, usually.

The only people that I know who are immature enough to behave that way are people I don’t much care for, anyway.

Passive aggressive B.S.. I ignore them.

syz and Jude: Do they ever learn or simply don’t care about others?

I have coworkers who do this. I usually give them a few days of quiet and assume that they are going back on their antidepressants (as in this office, that is typically the culprit). After awhile I will break the ice, typically with a funny story about my husband or son.

I hate the silent treatment.

cupcake: Yeah I hate silent treatment too, I like to talk about it like an adult.

It takes two to play a game, I’m not playing, toodles!

its not about games all the time surely… people shouldn’t play with people emotion.. and be sincere

If they decide to pull it on me, I treat as such, takes away any meaning that they may have intended it to have.

OK so you will do the silent treatment back to them?

No, I greet them in a friendly manner every day perhaps even hang out with them if we have mutual friends, acknowledge that they are giving me the silent treatment and refuse to speak to me, which to everyone else appears that the individual is being rude, and shows to them that yes you are giving me the silent treatment, and yes, I don’t care and I will continue as such until you realize you’re being an immature brat and are coming across as rude to other people who witness this.

I never give silent treatments to friends, but unless I don’t like some people i might not respond quick but I still respond not silent…

treat them as you normally would, and act surprised when they refuse to answer, as in “Huh, I can’t believe you’re still acting out.”

If they don’t bother to explain to me the problem then I won’t know what’s wrong. I can not possibly read their minds to figure it out.

Hibernate: Yes, but how do you deal with it?

I’ve only one person I know has tried this with me and it’s been unacceptable since that’s my fiancee. We’ve had a few years together to iron out our ways of disagreeing and more importantly, resolving shite to give each person as much of what they want as possible.

I ignore them, unless I need something regarding work. Then, I keep it very professional.

My roomate always fucking does this to me. I know she’ll win if I break the silence and inquire about the treatment. So I don’t do dick, and just go on with my shit. She eventually gets bored or cools down and comes and talk to me. I ain’t falling for stuff like that.

It’s not because I want to win or be a bitch. However, when she has a hissy fit, she often uses me as a reason, and I have done absolutely nothing. Hell once she was all pissed and I offered to lend her money; she told me to fuck off. So, if she wants to have a fit, she can have it on her own. But I got other shit to do.

I know I know, it only sounds like one side of the story, but I swear, she has these real bad mood problems. I’ve wronged her before, and went to apologize. But if I didn’t do anything I ain’t gonna fuckin play all these pitty and ego games.

I was not raised to treat people as if they don’t exist, so therefore, I never gave people the silent treatment. I say hello to everyone at work, unless they ignore me, and then I don’t make a fool of myself trying to be nice and not having it be reciprocated.

I recently asked a question on Fluther about someone where I live, who gives me the silent treatment and I can’t figure out why, even though I say hello to her when I see her.

@Londongirl: Just a tip – when you want to address a specific person in one of your answers, if you put the “at” sign before their name, it will come up red, so it stands out. After you type in the “at”, a list of names will appear on the side, and when you start typing the name, you can hit “enter” and it will automatically be auto-filled in for you.

@jca thanks! :)

Yeah, I don’t like silent treatement, but at work place there is a group and politic involved and they only greeting those in their same group… I find people attitude sometimes very unattractive when they try to ignore other people.

@Londongirl well when someone doesn’t want to talk to me and gives me the silent treatment then I just let them keep quiet till they get bored with it. If it’s a person whop you want to talk then I suggest you write your ideas on a piece of paper [something like a letter] and hand it to them. Since they won’t talk to you they could read it. If they don’t want to read it then you did something bad. Let them cool off first and at a point you can talk to them.

Anyway the more you explain this the more we can help since this is not for a general case. Say what’s on your mind.

I also have someone who said will call me but hasn’t, so I take it as silent treatment too… I don’t like it…

That’s not silent treatment. They could be busy or AVOID ON PURPOSE talking to you. Take time and after a while you can be sure what’s happening.

@Hibernate OK I hope he’s busy, he told me he wasn’t avoiding me and said he would call me, but not heard from him…

Still no news… not good.. I feel sad…