Fluther advertises itself as a community, and has a community feed and such; do you feel it's a community? How does this or another online community compare with your real life communites?

It’s a loose community. Other communities in my life are more significant to me.

I’d take Fluther anytime of the day compared to my community. I mean I would rather die laughing than of being bored.

Fluther is a good example of community, in my opinion. We have the aristocratic moderators, the merchantile class with the varying levels of achievement, and we have the aspiring newcomers who keep us all thriving. You could even say we’re presided over by a queen, Augustlan.

We’re more of a community, however, because of what we do for each other. We answer questions and give hopefully helpful solutions to problems posed in questions.

I’ve made some friendships on here. There are some people I would genuinely like to meet, but due to distance and a tad bit of water, I can’t.

I do have to say that I have real life communities that are more relevant to my everyday existence, but I think that’s to be expected. If Fluther replaced real people, I’d begin to worry a bit about myself.

We seem to form friendships, cliques, and rivalries (both good-hearted and not so much). Yea, sounds like some sort of community.

Given the nature of it, and the fact that a lot of us end up spending a lot of time typing elaborate answers, I think we get some pretty good pictures of each other, at least compared to other internet communities. Still not on the level of my real life community, but better than most forums.

I find people here really try to get know one another more than your average website. In that manner it is like a community.

I may know more about various jellies here than I do about most of all my neighbours combined. I think that is a good thing.

You just love saying “queen”.

Jakey – if Fluther replaced “real people” – as in the human touch right? Because we all are “real people”.

It mostly feels like a community because I mostly feel like an outcast.

It’s a community, yeah, and I love the paradox of being here… we are here anonymously for the most part, but probably reveal more here than we do in real life. So, people on Fluther probably know more about me than 99% of the people I work with, and yet, don’t know me IRL. I’ve also found it fascinating that I’m more genuine here on Fluther than IRL.

Yes, it’s a community with its own lingo, mini-culture, structure and value system. We help each other, hurt each other sometimes, learn from each other, alienate some, have short and long lasting interactions, might extend our friendship outside the tidepool, and according to one thread, even marry other jellies—it’s as real as it gets.

For right now, I prefer Fluther to the community I live in for a long list of reasons, but if I moved back to the communities where I was very involved, it would be the other way around.

Fluther feels like the local tavern to me. (A place to visit, not live). You have Augustlan the owner (ok, I know she’s not the owner, but play along), who is always very kind and welcoming, but will kick you out if need be. The mods are the bouncers. Then we have the regulars and bartenders who are usually quite helpful, entertaining and ready to lend an ear when you need one.

Don’t forget the assholes who like to be loud and cause trouble. A tavern wouldn’t be the same without them.

I like the community I live in much better than this virtual world, though I’d love to meet a few people I’ve met here at Fluther.

<<<—-Pass this asshole another round. Scotch, neat.—

I would call it a community. I come here for answers, to laugh, to learn, when I am bored, when I am sad, when I am happy. I feel like I know some people here better than some of my neighbors.

At the same time, fluther does not replace my very close relationships. My husband, my closest friends, my family, the people in my life who I can truly rely on.

I also am on facebook, and that community is a lot of fun. But, I have to restrain myself more than I would like, because it seems most people on facebook only want you to agree with them. I don’t feel like my facebook is a community, not like fluther. Facebook is more like the whole world can see in.

That was interesting, dear; that on facebook people only want you to agree with them – because basically you decide who to friend there – but I guess the format of it – and the fact that here, you get to read all kinds of people’s responses to to your posts? Could ou elaborate and expound upon that?

@JLeslie I agree with you on the FB thing – I absolutely do not need people to debate constantly with me on FB so in that sense you either agree or keep quiet..‘cause I get enough of that kind of thing here and I do not need it to be the norm everywhere…FB is more like home…this is more like the outside…much more annoying. FB, for me, is much more a place to be vulnerable, inviting. Hence, my recent cut of friends, to make sure I keep my vulnerabilities to those that deserve them.

This is very interesting – I always thought this was more like home – dysfunctional home, but then, that is what I am used to anyway. FB I can’t get a handle on – but then – I am very private so it goes against my instincts. Especially with photos and such.

@zen I really don’t think that’s the same for everyone. I use FB differently from others, perhaps. I think people do think Fluther is more intimate whether I think FB is more so, for me. I share a lot of myself on FB, I share my children’s lives, I share so many more of my struggles. Here, that kind of thing is up for opposing debate, which is fine but I don’t care to have those debates when it comes to things I hold firm beliefs on. And so you can get out of my house if you’re all about telling me about how I’m going to hell and how I am ruining my kids. I don’t have a single friend on FB that would dare say such things, they’re much more complex and evolved. Fluther is different and those on Fluther who have helped me and intrigued me are my friends on FB, as well.

I agree with you @Simone_De_Beauvoir. I really don’t argue with anyone I know outside of Fluther (people irl). I get it here, not anywhere else. FB is for people who support me and people I can rely on. I’ve been deleting too on FB because of this.

@jonsblond Indeed. We must find comfort somewhere, at least.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I actually don’t mind the debate even on facebook, the learning curve for me was understanding that most people feel like you. It makes sense, don’t get me wrong, I can see why people feel like you.

@zen My sister got really pissed at me because she had a thread going on facebook about gay marriage, and someone on the thread said something my sister hated him for. Her reaction was over the top in my opinion, and when I chimed in to say I agreed with part of what he said, and that I thought she misunderstood what he was trying to communicate, she thought I was just awful. A few days later it happened that I posted on my status that Mexico had finally put into law that gay people can adopt children. My sister put a like, maybe a comment, can’t remember. Then a “friend” of mine put some hideous remark about how the new law was awful. My sister was furious I did not delete his comment. I had not even seen it yet. Of course people had replied to this idiot and told him he was an idiot. Anyway, she hated me for something someone else wrote, and then said she was not even sure if I was in favor of the law, that I did not say I was. I was the one who provided the link to the article for all to see. She wanted to know how can I still be friends with the person who said such a thing (remember we are talking facebook friends, he is not a friend in real life, he is someone I know from the past).

Now, we know my sister is acting irrationally sure. I mean, I have always been ok with gay people, I have always supported gay marriage, gay adoption. But, my sister has all these rules in her head about how facebook should be done. Seems there are several people like that.

I have a few other friends in real life who have said they think people should not be serious on facebook, which is different from what @Simone_de_Beauvoir is saying from what I can tell. Wanting people to be agreeable on fb is different from only posting funny lighthearted things.

As soon as I see a conversation heat up on facebook, I get out of it.

Yea, when you use Facebook for information gathering, news, and a couple groups, it’s a lot less stressful. Of course, if I didn’t have the habit of letting all my family on my friends list, the stress might drop off almost completely. Or maybe just a stricter screening policy.

@JLeslie I literally debate most of my day, not just on Fluther – I do this because there is an inner sociologist inside me that can’t shut up and I can’t let many things go, because they’re wrong and hurtful to say to others and people say horrible shit to each other all the live long day. So, no thanks for that on Facebook – every once in a while I’d get into it with someone on Facebook and then really try to squelch it because that’s really annoying to me, for some reason – I immediately get defensive of all the things I’ve shared with that person.

I thought I would add I love the photos on facebook, although I think some people go way overboard. I love seeing everyone’s kids, and their own photos from the past. I love finding friends I have not talked to in 30 years, and relatives I never knew I had.

@JLeslie Am I one of those who posts too many pics? ‘Cause I’m about to post some from earlier today, lol!

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I can understand why you want facebook to be a stressfree fun place.

No, you don’t post too many photos. You are one of the ones I like seeing your kids, so cute. :) I have friends who upload something like 80 photos at once from some trip. It’s insane.

As far as online standards go, Fluther is a pretty good community. But it having a good community isn’t something that doesn’t belong to like a million other online communities and forums and message boards and all. I’ve felt it in some other few places I participated in. No matter the nature of a place, if it runs on daily activity, follow up and progression, it’s a community. Even if it’s a place with flaming as its purpose. (actually saw a site like that once) Or AnswerBag. Lawl.
These factors make it a community. Fluther isn’t much different than a lot of other places; we’re just more awesome than most places. At least in my opinion.

But online differs greatly from actual life, due to many evident factors. Even if both places have communities, due to the communication methods and shit, they’re really not the same. I can talk to people here, get shit off my chest, mess around and have fun. And I appreciate all of it, really. But nobody can hold me if I feel like crying, I can’t babysit someone’s kid or feed their cat when they’re on vacation, and none of us can sit at the beach together and check out hot dudes.
It’s almost two different things to me, even if many similar elements go hand in hand.

However, as I say, as far as online goes, Fluther definitely is a community, in respect to that meaning’s source..

I don’t know. Something about the design of the Fluther website makes it more appealing to me and warm to look at. Better than Facebook, really.

@mazingerz88 Less clutter. Nobody here discusses what they ate today, unless it’s relevant to a question.

Yeah, Facebook and places like Twitter;

Update

I just took a shit. Got some on my hands while wiping.

@Symbeline Zombie says, “I just toooookkk aaa shiitt. Got my asss offf while wipiiingg…but that’s okaayy…mmy buddy gooott itt worrrse, hee broke hiss hand and left it stuck uupp hiss asss…”

That reminds me of a certain Romeoesque metaphor about zombies representing band waggoning…XD

@mazingerz88 Maybe because FB uses cold colors like business blue and white. Fluther uses sage, soft yellow, rust, teal, and almost transparent green-blue.

I simply see the place as somewhere to have a giggle & a chat with assorted yankee bandidos. Not so much a community, more a cosy little pub.

Just curious, what is a web community anyway? : )

A bunch of spiders?

I think @jonsblond‘s description of a sort of pub community is very apt. I liked her description. Fluther is a community, it is one of the communities I am connected to in life. It isn’t the most important but I enjoy being here.

A pub sans the alcohol is the Fluther community then…