We choose our friends, we don't choose our family - have you "had to" tell this to yourself on occasion?

We do choose our family because I don’t think blood is thicker than water. If you’re part of my family whether you came into it through a biological or otherwise connection, I will be more loyal to you than other people but if you’re part of my biological family and I am not getting along with you, I have no issue with considering cutting you out of my life.

I don’t give up on family. I don’t give up on friends.

Nah, my family is pretty awesome. The immediate family, anyway. There’s at least one cousin I could do without.

I put up with way more from my family than I would my friends. I’ve told myself that quote on occasion before, yes.

On both my mother and father’s sides, there has been so much disowning going on, so many are estranged from each other, I’ve seen so much hurt and I decided really young not to be the one to disown anyone. The result, I’m one of the few that gets along with everyone, even though I’m very much the black sheep raising two black lambs.

I much prefer to be with my friends, though.

At this point in my life my family is family and my friends are family, I’ve know them all so long; I can’t spare a single one of them and I don’t have a whole lot of family left but everyone of them is a keeper. I guess I’m lucky. Even when the whole bunch of them were alive, there may have been one’s that got on my nerves and I maybe would spend less time with rather than more, but there was no one I would have tossed overboard.

@lillycoyote I am envious.

Ah, family. I have disagreements with mine, but dysfunction runs high in my family, so our disagreements are unspoken. I’m slow to make friendships, so those I do have are dear to me, and I work at keeping them healthy.

I visited my parents back a few months back, and a lot went unspoken. On the same trip, I saw old friends, and we picked up like we’d seen each other yesterday.

Yes, I wish my family could be more like my friends.

For most of my life, my friends have been my family. Yes, I wish all the time family could be more like the treasured friends I’ve met over the years but they aren’t and it’s a proven waste of energy to try to work them into that mold.

zen, I admit, I’m lucky, from some of the horror stories I’ve heard from some people. The strategy in our family has been to reduce the number of offspring with each succeeding generation so there there are fewer and fewer people in the family and less of a chance that there will be annoying relatives. 3 out of 4 of my grandparents were 1 of 11 children. The next generation produced 4–5 children each, the next generation generally produced two children, except for my mother’s sister, who had 4 boys, but I think they were trying for a girl. In my generation, the 9 cousins have only 7 children. It works. Every one a keeper. Everyone on my father’s side is dead except for the unknown relatives who would be connected to me through my father’s illegitimate half-brother who I wasn’t even told about until I was in my mid-thirties and know nothing about, and on my mom’s side? They all had remarkably good taste and exercised good judgment in choosing their spouses and children. What can I say?

Thank God I’ve never had to say that!

My family is always there for me, so are the few close friends I have in my life. They are supportive and encouraging. We choose the people we want in our life, why keep someone around who is negative or never has anything nice to say?

I wish I had more friends like my family. Sometimes I need to remind myself of this when I get close to someone who brings negative energy into my life.

We might not choose who we’re genetically related to, but we do choose whether or not to stay in contact with them and to call them family. I don’t force myself to have a relationship with any of my family members; if it’s only negative to have them in my life, then they aren’t in my life. And there are a few who aren’t in my life.

I say that, Zen, and after reading the above posts I’m envious of those who never have reason to say that and tempted to say “Really???” in a somewhat disbelieving fashion (maybe it’s just envy) to those who declare without hesitation that they can just cut their family out of their lives. I have found that it’s just not that easy for me.

That’s all I’ve been telling myself these days.
Relatives are a pain in the ass