What for you defines a (human) alpha male?

I’m not really a follower kind of guy so I don’t recognize the “alpha male” in terms of a person I should feel “beta” to.

I don’t consider myself an “alpha” nor would ever wish to be one. Walk your own path folks. You feel the sun on your face a lot more that way than by following the guy in front of you.

The typical hard charging, smooth, yet aggressive talker who is good with the ladies (for some reason). Probably was a superstar at some sport in high school or college, and he’s also probably got a big schlong.

Hell no, I’m not an alpha male, more like a gamma male lol.

The two definitions are not mutually exclusive, but I’d lean towards the second definition. But I think a man who fit the second definition would be very attractive to women. But he wouldn’t be bossing women around and would be comfortable around any woman.

Asshole

@Blackberry . . . dr. bruce banner was a gamma male

An alpha male to me is someone who has extreme confidence in most situations and can be a assertive without being aggressive. Often this is what makes others follow him or her. Of course the more average to good looking they are or level of education or money the more likely people are to listen to this person. But I don’t think its just that. If you are good looking, have a hirer, education and a great job that makes good money, than you are already a pretty confident person. Money, education and whether you are the boss or not can be intimidation factor to those who do not have confidence. When they encounter someone like themselves, another alpha, they can either be intimidated if they feel they are being challenged or have a mutual respect.

To me, there is no set of characteristics that defines an alpha-male. I’ve known several men who are an alpha, but they are all different. The one factor they share is confidence, but that’s not all it is. It’s just a certain something about them, and you kind of know it when you’re in the presence of one.

I’ve also known many men who seemed to actively try to be the alpha-male, and some of them even honestly thought they were one. They weren’t.

Me. I’m the best you’ll ever get.

@RareDenver . . . you certainly do it for me big fella.

@RareDenver does it for me too.

In the strict sense of the word an Alpha male is someone who women want to fornicate with with the intention of passing his genes and strengths to their offspring. Survival of the fittest and all. In the animal Kingdom these are usually animals that are larger in size (as they are generally better at defending territory and hunting) and aggressive.

I think subconsciously we humans follow the same pattern. To be an Alpha male in my book you would need to be big in size, i.e. of a good built as one of the description says. You would also need to be assertive when needed, not a push over. You don’t need looks as much as you need a full head of hear and a strong chin, as you would say. Also confidence is big. Not necessarily overt but a calm confidence like I can kick your butt if I want to but will give you a warning for now. Another thing of course as one of the description also says is leadership. No Alpha can be a true Alpha without being an automatic leader.

This is by no means my type of a guy though, a lot of other factors matter too.

Forgot to answer the other question about being put off. I don’t think the Alpha Male characteristics come with a certain personality automatically. AM can be douche bags or kind-hearted people. It depends.

In my experience, the men who strike me as Alpha’s tend to have these things in common:

Charisma. Men want to be their friends and women want to be their partners.

Social flexibility. These are the men who kind of “do it all”. They can mix with just about and crowd and be a draw in that crowd. They like a wide range of activities and are usually good at those things.

Responsibility. These men usually manage to take care of themselves and others without excessive debt, skeletons in the closet or much whining about how difficult life is. These are the men who take pride in what they accomplish and share.

I always thought the most important characteristic in an alpha male is that he has good genes: Tall, big and he would be dominent too.

He’s the dude with the remote and a hottie in his lap.

A whole multi-million dollar industry was built around the proverbial “Alpha Male” and that is the Mills and Boon (Harlequin) romance book. (link and link)

And Mills and Boon that made a mint out of featuring “Alpha Males” went on to spawn lots of other publishers of the same type of book. Girl meets man, man is aloof and unattainable, they are pushed together into extraordinary circumstances, he never shows that he is falling for her, she decides it’s futile and then love blooms (fireworks) usually on the last page. (I use the word “girl” because part of the formula for the early books was that the protagonist was usually a “single girl” in her early 20’s. The “Alpha Male” was usually at least a decade or two older, usually “above her station”(!) and therefore all that bit more unattainable. It was a formula that was to continue until about the late 1970’s.)

Romance novels, however, were not born in the 20th century. And the Alpha Male predates Mills and Boon. We need only to go back a few more decades to view the most famous of the Alpha Males and that would be Jane Austen’s Mr Darcy. The Alpha Male (of fiction) is assertive, forthright (but not loud and raucous), a man of his word (though it may at times sting), he is usually a self-made man (an Alpha Male would never rely on a woman for money or position), he is a man of integrity, grace and dignity. He is extremely self-assured and does not suffer fools gladly. He never wears his heart on his sleeve. He can be brooding or mysterious…but as always, when he delivers his heart to someone, he then exhibits his feelings which run deep. He does not have to oppress others to find his own strength because it resides within him.

In today’s society, I think that many of the same characteristics still apply. The idea that an Alpha Male is a jerk…and bombastic….is a gross misinterpretation. There is a difference between an “Alpha Male” and an “Alpha Dawg.” lol

When I think of an Alpha Male archetype….in contemporary society, I think of Simon Cowell. He appears gruff and aloof and exudes great confidence. Your opinion of him doesn’t bother him one way or another. However, in person, and one-on-one he is impeccable of manners, very generous and quite kindhearted. That’s well known here.

I wouldn’t mind being (or as you said, “hanging out”) with a true (true) Alpha Male…however, they are few and far between. And as someone mentioned above…if an alpha male says he is one…he usually isn’t.

@DarlingRhadamanthus: Alpha Male versus Alpha Dawg/Dork. Perfect!

@Neizvestnaya…Thanks! lol And remember to keep the “Woofers” at bay!

A monkey shagging all the lady monkeys, or…......a fucked in the head bullyboy dickweed.

Big dick, swinging freely.

In my opinion, a true alpha male strives to improve himself and where he is and perhaps his fellow man for a good portion of his life. If you are unable to lead or contribute anything, you’re just a Douche.

I always took the phrase to mean the natural leader in a certain situation or group with a decidedly male twist.

So the characteristics of an “alpha male” on a football team is going to be a lot different than the alpha male for an office environment. To me it’s a person you would naturally follow for whatever reason. So it’s not always the asshole, diplomacy can be just as effective.

Some alpha males (selected to show some range)
> The Most Interesting Man in the World
> Teddy Roosevelt
> Jean-Luc Picard
> Winston Churchill
> Peyton Manning

I think one of the best examples right now is Barack Obama, he won the election on charisma and personal leadership. He’s a great speaker and has a certain demeanor that lends itself to leadership.

Just got this wild idea about what an alpha male is. What about a man who f*#@ks both men and women and satisfies them all to the hilt?

I found this excerpt on askmen.com:
One More Hidden Secret Of The True “Alpha” Male!
There is one more deeply hidden, seldom realized secret of true leadership that attracts even the hottest women in droves.

It’s the courage and self-acceptance to step into the world and try on new ways of thinking and acting, without any absolute certainty of success .

I suppose it is just another way to say confidence as many people have said above. Sadly, this advice is like a lot of advice written for men. It’s all about how to “score”. While I understand the need for a man to impress a woman in order to attract her, it seems unfortunate that so many men may be out there thinking they only have 5 minutes to impress a woman and then she is ready to move on.
Do I tend to hang out with alpha males? It depends on your definition. The kind of men that would usually be called alpha are not attracted to me. I admire them but generally are not attracted to them either. I can’t help but be drawn into their charisma but I need the chemistry of mutual attraction and respect in order to fall for someone.
One thing that I find attractive is the ability to be comfortable in your own skin. Self acceptance and no need to be top dog all the time is much more appealing to me. When someone has this quality and I am attracted to them as a person, they are an alpha male for me.

One of the guys in my circle is always talking about being an alpha male. It sounds like something he got out of a men’s group somewhere. He’s an actor and a ham and he likes calling attention to himself. Needless to say, I am not fond of him. He rarely does anything more than take up space, as far as I’m concerned.

It is funny because he’s also a drummer, and he’s not a drummer that knows where he’s going. He likes to get in the groove, and he’s good at keeping a groove going, but he doesn’t know how to anticipate change or open up space for something new to happen.

When I hear “alpha,” it’s basically the male (of any species) that has fought off all the other males and he has access to a lot of women who all want his babies. It seems like a notion that is meant more for dogs and walruses than for human beings.

Yet, guys are competing all the time. They show off for women. They make lots of money or they look hot. Whatever it takes. Some are athletes and some are writers. We all compete, but the smart ones try to create an arena where it will be easier for them to win.

Why do male writers write? Why do male musicians muse? Why do male artists art? I don’t know how many will admit it, but I’ve heard them admit it on national talk shows. It’s to get the girls. I think it was one of the Kiss singers who said that to Terry Gross. It might have been another rock star. In any case, he said it in a way that it could be taken as a joke, but it was the truth.

I think that no matter whether men are aware of it, or not, if they are heterosexual, then everything they do is to get the girl. It’s what keeps the human race going. We all want to be alpha in our own little way. Some of us are alpha in bigger ways, too. Although, sometimes being the best doesn’t really get you anywhere. So it’s no guarantee.

I think he has an understanding of sexuality that is beyond sex. I also think he isn’t weak, and almost ego less in nature. He is very grounded, and has incredible spiritual and physical energy. He can talk to any woman he pleases. He is a liberator, physically and emotionally, for many women.

When I first understood the term alpha male [someone explained it ot me] I found out another thing [that someone told me a little secret]. He said to me : “Lead, follow or get out of the way”. I started laughing because I understood it perfect. The alphas lead. The followers are those who let alphas lead. Then there’s the category who doesn’t give a crap and doesn’t care what the others are saying or doing. The last part of that expression suited me and I took it as a life principle. It’s true that I became a persona non grata but I didn’t care. This way I wasn’t obliged to “do” like others.

Anyway. @wundayatta pointed out a great thing. Alpha males fight for dominance and reproduction. If a human male does this [he can find non violent ways of getting rid of his adversaries] and starts having children :) [well I gotta laugh here] those women can sue him if he neglects them a bit or just because he does not spend enough time with their kid. He’ll end up paying so much child support he will wish he;s not the alpha.

I think there are two different approaches going on with answering this question. Some people answer ideally, what is an alpha male to you? Some answer what is the concept of alpha male and what does that man look like and act like?
Since the term was coined to describe a dominant male the classic domineering behaviors fit the profile. But they are not what many of us would like to see as an enlightened male. And there are so many alpha males who are leaders, someone has to lead don’t they? Many of them are bad leaders and do as much damage as they do good.
When applied to management theory I think the greatest leaders are those who are not all ego and bombast. They are secure enough to allow dissent. They don’t need to be dictators. They also have the humility to know that not all of the best ideas come from them. This is a more successful approach to leading.
Here is a brief description of what I believe should be thought of as an alpha
person. It focuses on running a business but it could be applied to an approach to life in general.
http://www.seniormag.com/marketing/ceo-characteristics.htm

<—-Alpha Male… quietly working his way to Omega

@SuperMouse I am one, according to your link. I didn’t think that was the “definition” of an alpha male… what do you think?

Problem is “society” has wussified the male, just look at TV and advertising. Good luck dear finding your Paul Newman, Rock Hudson or Clark Gable, they’re gone now-and good riddance!
My estimation of the lack of alpha probably has to do in large part with men’s fertility rate which happens to be at a historic low, we just ain’t got no ammo no mo! Why!! and I know why, or at least what I believe.
Your question is very poignant, and it also should be questioned to your gender- Where are the woman that don’t exemplify Lady GAGA.

@Earthgirl I officially change my ‘confidence’ answer to ‘secure’. That is exactly the word I was searching for. They are secure enough to not have to try to prove themselves, and don’t have to act ‘manly’ or whatever. They just… are.

Garebo The alpha males you are listing were alpha on the screen and not necessarily in real life. They exemplified a masculine ideal of toughness and invulnerabilty. Men like that never admitted to their insecurities, fears, or self doubt, at least not on screen, not in character. I like to think that we are evolving to a better place as far as sex role stereotypes go. I’d like to think that a man doesn’t have to be some steely eyed God to be considered masculine. It actually takes more strength to admit your vulnerabilities. It takes more strength to have fear and push beyond it to do what needs to be done. And to have empathy with another person you have to be able to feel what they are feeling yourself and relate to it. I don’t think there is anything superior at all about a man who is afraid to be sensitive and caring. I also think it is admirable for men to be able to talk about their feelings. I’m not sure if any of these things would qualify a man to be “wussified” in your book.
Not sure what you meant by the Lady Gaga comment. I am not a fan. There are plenty of women who don’t exemplify Lady Gaga. Thank God for that!