In Your Humble Opinion, should wedding guests dress like hookers?

I think it’s kind of tasteless and attracts attention when it should be on the bride and groom.

It’s tacky. If you’re able to afford clothes to go out clubbing you should own a set of nice clothes to wear to more formal/dignified occasions. That goes for guys too. I went to a wedding last year and some of the guys looked like they were auditioning for Jersey Shore.

Refined taste is a rarity. Tact even scarcer.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies has it right.

for once

No but since after attending many weddings in the last few decades I can say it’s commonplace that people ignore dress codes for weddings in general and take the opportunity to either dress like they’re going to a singles bar or like high school prom rebels in the shoddiest duds they own, complete with sneakers.

At my own formal wedding years ago, a woman showed up in a casual cotton miniskirt and tank top. Ugh.

I think the onus belongs to these young people’s parents for not teaching them the proper way to dress. Society has become more and more casual. There are likely many instances in which people literally don’t know proper attire.

I think you are too judgmental.

The onus belongs to the parents, and the deceptive pop media culture that the parents allow to permeate the minds of our children.

Geez. I guess from now on people need to put a dress code on the invitations.
I’ve seen people show up on Judge Judy looking like a hooker. What has happened to our common sense and MANNERS??

Not unless it tells you to on the invite.

No. I think the dress for any wedding should be fairly conservative for a person of any age or society. The only exceptions would be an impromptu Vegas wedding or a “costume” wedding I know people that have gotten married on Halloween

I share your disdain for such an obvious lack of taste and sense of decorum. A very good friend wore a F-me mini skirt and top outfit even hookers would balk at to my wedding. I wanted to send her packin.

A little harmless public humiliation every now and then can do a person, and society, good.

I attended a funeral some week and a half ago and I had a similar experience, albeit that the dress code is different from weddings of course.
There were about a hundred people there, most of them elderly, and what I noticed, and was surprised about, was that almost nobody was wearing black or dark clothes.
Until I remembered what I was wearing myself…, a black shirt with blue jeans…, also not really totally black/dark.
I am saying here that it can be easy to judge others but it can also be worth to judge yourself.
Can I ask, @josie , what were you wearing? sincere question, not implying anything here.

If the wedding is in Vegas.

My now ex-sister in law, who is 6 feet tall, platinum blonde, huge boobs (store bought), and really pretty wore a blue sequined mini dress with white fish net hose and blue sequined high heels to my wedding. I have it on authority of some of my co-workers that she wore no underwear. No one there could tell me what my dress looked like or if we even said our vows. All eyes were on her. I didn’t care though, it was my day regardless.

I am resisting the urge to bash my face into my desk.

Why are we so preoccupied with what everyone else is wearing? In my opinion a wedding guest can show up in jeans and sneakers or a latex dress if that’s what they feel like wearing. Personally, I think trying to decide what your guests will or will not wear is utter nonsense, anyhow.

“Why are we so preoccupied with what everyone else is wearing?”

I’m not. I’m only concerned with what you wear to my event. It affects the aesthetic that I’ve worked so hard to achieve.

@chyna : The visual has me chuckling!

I think that guests should respect the bride and groom. If they don’t care what anyone else is wearing, neither do I.

@ANef_is_Enuf: When you are invited to be a guest at someone’s wedding, your attendance means you are there to celebrate the couple not take the opportunity to express your own sense of fashion savvy.

The couple and maybe their family and other friends have put time and effort into presenting a venue for all to enjoy so it shouldn’t be too much to expect the guests to invest a teensy bit of their own time to ask or research what’s appropriate dress for that particular wedding.

@ANef_is_Enuf I think it’s mostly about the disrespect it shows. Especially when it is so obviously someone else’s “big day”. Even if someone plans to go out clubbing after the wedding, they could easily wear something more conservative and change prior to going out or undress themselves a bit

My opinion is that hookers aren’t ‘lower’ than you or me and therefore to assert that someone dresses like a hooker is to imply that you think them below you, which, newsflash, they’re not. Our society polices what women wear enough, don’t add to it. You tell them what to wear to weddings and piano performances and on dates and on the street (you know ‘cause if they dress ‘like a slut’, let them not complain about getting raped) – fuck that, you don’t like mini skirts, don’t wear any. As for everyone else, it’s not your business.

Dressing like that at a wedding which I assume had a dress code that did not include hookerwear is just in bad taste. If there was no stated dress code, then they had every right to, even if it is tacky and distasteful.

@ANef_is_Enuf If you were attending an event with a set dress code, would you not follow said dress code? I agree with you to some extent, but if you are throwing an event, you reserve the right to set a dress code. Your guests reserve the right to not follow the dress code, but they can also expect to lose some of your respect in doing so.

@rebbel
Tan worsted suit, blue pin striped Thomas Pink shirt with anchor cufflinks, gold, brown, light and navy blue striped silk tie, brown shoes (Cole Haan, spit-shined).

Quit blaming the parents. I taught my kids what to wear- when they were mine to teach. Society and peers take over at some point. Fortunately mine like to dress formal.

@Fly But that kind of loss of respect seems to be used more on women ‘cause women’s boundaries of clothing are the only boundaries people give a shit about, no matter what they say.

It’s an issue of tact for a particular situation @Simone_De_Beauvoir. The use of “hooker” is simply an archetype that is easily understood by all for the purposes of clarifying this question. Nowhere does it suggest that one human is less valuable than another.

Tits do not need to fall out and skirts can easily be a little closer to the knee.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Oh yeah, I’m glad it’s simple to understand. That doesn’t mean we need to continue using it. You know what else is simple to understand? Sexism. Are these women sex workers? At the wedding? Then they’re not hookers. They’re not ‘like hookers’ either simply because of what they wear. Perhaps people are confused about what hookers do.

No one said they are hookers. It’s stated that they “dress like” hookers because of the archetype that “hookers” created all by themselves. It’s no different than saying “cowboy”.

@josie Nice! Classy.

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies Yeah, that’s the same. Just goes with the profession. Nothing having to do with shaming women about how they’re supposed to toe the line, to be appropriate according to everyone’s contradictory notions of ‘propriety’ all the while telling them their appearance and their producing sexuality in visible ways are all they’re about, especially when trying to get a man. Oh sure, just like cowboys. And what does the ‘no one said they’re hookers’ mean? Do you think it matters to me that people are hookers, it matters only to people who think that being a hooker is a problem.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I do agree that this burden is, in general, placed largely more on women. However, that is not my personal view, I was just addressing the question. I would lose the same amount of respect for a man who showed up to a wedding with a dress code in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. I also agree with @RealEyesRealizeRealLies in that I don’t think the OP meant “hooker” in an offensive way. As sad as it may be, “hooker” is frankly a widely recognizable clothing style, although there may have been other descriptive words that would have been just as successful.

@Fly Perhaps you would, that’s fine but the kind of respect you’d lose for a woman that ‘dresses like a hooker’ than for a guy that dresses like ‘he thought he was going to the beach instead’ is different, has different connotations and we all know that.

Wedding = Party to celebrate the new couple.

Wear what you like, we’re dancing after the preacher leaves.

Those were their friends, they share the couple’s values more than most there.

@Fly yes, I try to dress “appropriately” for any event that I attend. I also have lousy self esteem and I like to blend in.
However, I don’t take it upon myself to judge what everyone else is wearing. I really do think that it is ridiculous that people feel they should dictate what their guests wear. I’ve expressed my feelings about weddings in the past, and I think the whole thing is out of whack, but that’s a separate discussion in and of itself.
I’ll say this.. I had guests at my wedding in sequins, and I had guests at my wedding in jeans and t-shirts. What my guests were wearing was the last thing on my mind… and I happened to have a very happy wedding day.

Well if you insist upon foisting your unwarranted perceptions about hookers upon this thread, then lets go ahead with that… Hookers generally pursue their profession because they are incapable of making a living in any other way. That puts them front and center into the category of low class. Anyone who intentionally dresses themselves in association with a perceived low class, has thereby lowered the class-iness of the original intentions of said event.

What is appropriate about intentionally lowering the intended level of classiness of someone else’s event? It’s not a float trip down a river. It’s a wedding.

Does anybody understand that even if no dress code is referred to that a wedding is a very special social event where people gather to show respect, kinship, friendship and love? If you’ve received an invitation to one then that’s a big deal, show a bit of respect.

If you don’t believe in the specialness of marriage and feel it’s an imposition on you to be expected to dress accordingly with other celebrating guests, DON’T GO. Your invitation was to join in, not to tout your personal stance on marriage, culture or society in general.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

I don’t think there’s any way a man could dress that would ever be seen as equal to women “dressing like hookers”, at least not in this society. That’s the fun of it.~

As for the question, my first and foremost would be to honor whatever dress code was requested or expected. I’m all about formalities and requirements and schedules and such. I like to dress up formally and I wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing a T-shirt or short shorts to a wedding anyway…

Were one of the wedding vows: “Me love you long time!”

@Neizvestnaya I don’t think anyone going to the wedding gets dressed especially to show disrespect, especially to go against a perceived dress code or because they’re incapable of showing love. I think people have different ideas on what’s ‘slutty’ and what’s ‘inappropriate’ and they run their mouths. If you don’t like someone’s girlfriend, let’s say, I know people who will hate what they wear no matter what they wear just because they feel threatened by having them show up at the wedding. All people are really judgy. I was at a wedding yesterday, in catholic mass, and I covered up my back tattoo at the request of the person who invited me only to notice later that the women of the family wore something that showed their vagina when they kneeled during prayers (it was hilarious, btw) and I was like ‘hell, you think my tattoo is a problem?’ but, of course, did I think anything of them? No.

Oh and for all those talking about how it’s so much easier to describe a person by saying they ‘look like a hooker’ rather than use some kind of other descriptors, the many sex workers I know don’t actually dress in that stereotypical way – it’s not safe on the streets where police are their biggest issue. There are many people out there (say, my children) who don’t know what you mean when you say that so try learning some new words.

@Neizvestnaya I have to respectfully disagree with you on that. Not everyone does understand what is generally considered acceptable wedding attire, especially people of my generation and younger. Not to mention that not everybody perceives wedding attire the same way that you or I do in the first place. If you want people to dress a certain way, say so. You can’t expect what you don’t ask for.

It’s not about the attire. It’s about competing aesthetics.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Vulva- showed their vulva!

@faye Well, no..in some cases it wasn’t only the vulva.

@Neizvestnaya – I very much believe in the “specialness” of marriage. I also believe that the day should belong to the couple. Not their parents, not their grandparents, not their guests. It should be a reflection of them.

I got married in my early 20’s as well, the number of constraints, rules, and expectations placed on a couple is crazy. By the day, I looked around at a room of amazing people I was thrilled to see and I wanted to get the ceremony handled so we could have a great time. I couldn’t care less what they were wearing, I just hoped they had fun.

If shunning and scolding others is a requirement for class, is that a good thing?

@Fly: We use the internet for everything. There are dozens of hits for “what to wear to a wedding”.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: No, I don’t think people go out of their way to be disrespectful but I do think they overlook the meaning of attending a wedding celebration or they just don’t care. For some people, maybe just a few (like me), not caring, not feeling it’s a special event- that’s disrespectful to the hosts.

@Neizvestnaya Well, there are all kinds of people out there and many people don’t give two craps about the wedding they’re attending and I’m sure the couple don’t even want them there but simply had to invite them, for obligatory reasons. For many reasons, weddings are kind of ridiculous because of all the sacrifices that have to be made on behalf of the bride and groom to keep others (like parents and in laws) happy that having someone come wearing a lady gaga outfit shouldn’t be one of those things, but if you’re inviting people, you can’t really control what they will wear or what they will say or how much they will drink and vomit everywhere (that’s how my first wedding went. the supposed young queer people everyone sneered at were fine but my dad’s work buddies were on the floor, passed away and were disgusting to me).

We should stop using the word hooker. You guys are getting worked up over semantics. The point is, a person is dressing a little more provocatively. Hookers are people, too :)

@Blackberry If only the conversation over this word was about semantics…

Could it be this accounts for the number of smaller more private weddings with limited guests that all of us wedding photographers are witnessing?

Looking back, I’d rather my guests dress like hookers, slackers and surfers than what my in-laws were going to wear. I wanted a classy wedding, but my FIL was prepared to wear his 70’s tux that he still could fit into—it was polyester, seafoam green, bell bottomed, sewn-in pant seams, huge ruffles on the shirt, huge shoulders and a huge bowtie. My MIL wanted to wear a dress she had in her 20’s… maybe a size 10 dress and she was size 20. “It stretches!” she told me—it was a magenta/fuschia flapper style dress with rows of fringe. It stretched out so far that the fringe was no longer hiding the fabric underneath. She looked like the Michelin Man in hot pink.

I actually cried at the thought of my wedding picture, with my bridesmaids and me in dresses I designed and constructed, and those two in the picture. It took careful (tactful) convincing, but I got them into proper attire. Now that I’m in the middle of a divorce, I certainly have a different perspective!

I say this because— the guests would not be in the final pictures, only in candids. I would want them to dress nice, but the value of their clothes are much less than what goes in the family pictures. I wanted my formal picture, one that I might blow up and frame, to look beautiful, not clownish.

[edit: I posted this after @blackberry’s very good suggestion. My words stay.]

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I think people are getting married when they’re more financially independent from their parents and don’t have to take crap in what direction their wedding should take. Or people simply can’t afford lavish weddings these days and inadvertently end up having a more intimate, better time.

@funkdaddy: What makes you think the day belongs just to the couple and not their also their families and friends? I’d be pissed as hell is someone showed up and dismissed or overlooked our family members as “window dressing” or such and held the attitude the wedding for just us and our friends or immediate peers. The wedding is a celebration of the couple and it’s (only presumably I guess for most) attended by those expected to be important to the couple.

@Neizvestnaya See, here’s the thing – people have different ideas as to what a wedding is supposed to represent and who it’s actually for, you know?

@Simone_De_Beauvoir: I see it’s so, more in a sad way to me though.

I agree with those that say what other people wear is none of their business…EXCEPT NOT TO SOMEONE’S WEDDING OR FUNERAL. That is SOOOO disrespectful.

And to @Simone_De_Beauvoir and @DominicX…sure a man could dress like a hooker…skin tight sequined shorts and a fish net top.

@Neizvestnaya Nah, if it’s just for the couple, it’s just for the couple. If it’s about all family members, looks like more stress to me, but more power to you. It’s okay, either way. @Dutchess_III And how many of those have you seen at the weddings you attended? And how many women you know personally have put on that outfit, for a wedding? And how many hookers have you seen dressed that way in the past year?

It’s not ideal clothing but it’s not something that I would obsessively care about.

If I had friends who were too poor to afford nice looking formal attire, I’d rather they come dressed unconventionally for my wedding, than not come at all just because they don’t have anything to wear.

Even assuming these people could afford better, I just don’t think it’s a very big deal what anyone wears, wherever they are. It’s just more drama than it’s worth to make a big deal about that.

Makes you wonder…, what would a woman, who is a prostitute, and goes to a wedding, actually wear?

@rebbel Oh yeah, like anyone actually cares about that. GQ

@rebbel – I believe that’s “business casual” ....

don’t shoot

@Neizvestnaya – I don’t think it’s rude or sad for the wedding to be a reflection of the couple. And I never said family and friends are window dressing.

It’s like if I invite you to my home. You ARE important to me, but it’s my house and ultimately it’s going to be my final say in what goes on.

The same with a wedding. You got an invite because I want you to be there, you should come however you’re comfortable.

I am just going to say that unless otherwise determined, occasions such as weddings and funerals have an already set dress code that should be followed. When you are invited to such an important event as a guest, the host expects you to behave in a certain way that respects the host’s traditions and values. When a host invited you to a party…the host is basically vouching for you and your behavior.

@raven860 Which, of course, depends on the host. People coming to my second wedding (one we had without the talons of our parents in our necks) knew they could come wearing whatever, dressed like cowboys (ahem) and all that. They knew, to us, other things mattered more.

@rebel I would say a prostitute would wear the “appropriate clothing” that women of any other profession would be wearing at the event.

@Mariah Being poor and not being able to afford fancy clothes and dressing “like a whore” or too revealing and therefore inappropriate are too different things.

@funkdaddy: If you’ve received a wedding invitation, you’re expected to attend and conduct yourself as a guest of a wedding, dressed appropriately to whatever tradition or theme is conveyed. It is not a “come as you feel” event- that’s fine for a picnic maybe.

.

@raven860 Sure, but usually revealing clothing uses less material and will therefore be less expensive. Of course you can get a more modest outfit for cheap too, but you can’t really get standard wedding attire for cheap.

Like I said, it probably wasn’t the best decision but I just don’t see it as the hugest atrocity in the world either.

When I was in my early twenties, my friends and I would talk about having a wedding where the Grooms men would be dressed like pimps, and the Brides Maids would be dressed like hookers.
I should have trademarked that idea.

Has anyone stopped to consider that for many men at the wedding, the only thing that keeps us from committing suicide due to colossal boredom is the occasional eye candy that these so-called “dressed like a hooker” women provide? Seriously… ;)

@Simone_De_Beauvoir

Yes it depends upon the host.

If I were at your wedding, I wouldn’t mind the way people were dressed at all (referring to the cow boy style). However, if someone decided to show up in lingerie that would kind of bother me. I wouldn’t bash the person him/herself but I would deem the clothing style inappropriate for the event.

I’m a commercial advertising photographer. I don’t pursue weddings, but my clientele requests that I do from time to time. I only shoot the most affluent. Nellie played the reception for the last wedding I did. The only questionable for the event fashion that showed up were the actors that Nellie brought with him. He was paid a great deal of money to play for a very small crowd.

Finance is not always the only reason to have a small wedding.

@FutureMemory Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

@Michael_Huntington What the fuck did you just say?

He’s attempting to achieve your wall of fame @FutureMemory.

Do you know for a fact that this violated an explicitly stated dress code, and that it is in no way possible that the bride and groom are actually fine with it? Are you the bride or groom, and thus are the one to be offended should someone be disrespectful? No? Then stop judging, because that is none of your business.

@Simone de Beauvior

I just realized why you mentioned the cowboy’s attire example. Yes you are obviously correct about the ‘depends upon the host’ part. I should have noted that in my original post. According to what I said in my original post…I wouldn’t direct that towards someone you referred to in your example but towards someone who does not bother putting an effort into how they dress or dress inappropriately without a care about what host or the people there might think (take offence).

For example; “Many of the guests were early twenties as well. If the guys weren’t in a uniform, they generally wore poorly fitting suits, or khaki pants and shirts that looked like they had slept in them-kind of dorky, in an innocently careless sort of way.

Quite a few of the early twenties girls wore dresses and footwear that were reminiscent of hookers in Vegas or Bangkok.” as the poster posted.

I do not have all the details but I am making an assumption that this was a popular view at the wedding.

I think the point I originally wanted to make was as follows: “Inappropriate dressing” is one that shows lack of interest in dressing up or understanding & compassion of the host’s values where circumstances are not a factor.

Not having your wide experience of Bangkok hookers cough cough I don’t have a very good picture of what your experience was like at the wedding. Without posting photos of the guests, which might be a privacy violation (especially in light of what you’ve already said), can you direct me to some “representative” photos? (I could happily google “Bangkok hookers” images for a good part of the afternoon – I’ve done worse, I suppose – but I’d like to get a better idea of what you saw.)

That said, often times weddings are a non-bar alternative for young women to “show off” a bit in a safe environment and troll their friends’ male friends. And I never consider “footwear” to be the special province of hookers, but I’m ready to be educated.

@CWOTUS The footwear I have pictured is the thigh high boots with the broken zipper and the safety pin to pull the zipper up as in Pretty Woman.

For me it’s not a case of “should”. If the guests don’t audibly disrupt the ceremony or do so through direct physical action, then they can dress like sex workers if they want to, but it wouldn’t be a requirement.

I like dressing up during cooler weather and I’d do that if I was invited to a wedding then. If I was invited when it was hot, I wouldn’t go unless I could dress comfortably for the event.

At my last wedding, the attire of the guests was so inconsequential that we only invited one person, and she was sick so she wasn’t able to attend. I.e., the only people wearing anything at all at our wedding were my wife, I, and the officiator.

I would prefer they dress like call girls, streetwalkers, or trollops. Hookers is just so 90’s.

so many people were influenced then by the documentary film pretty woman

Putting aside my distaste for the ‘dress like hookers’ part of this question, I think it’s disrespectful for a guest to wear anything that will distract and pull attention away from the bride and groom. Depending on the couple, that could be anything from dressing like an (actual) cowboy, wearing a white sequined evening gown, cut-off shorts and flip-flops, something overly revealing, or dressing like a pirate. All eyes should be on the bride and groom.

See what I mean… even though I believe that I have the right to act in any manner that I please on any occasion that I please… it just so happens that there is a standard that I’m expected to respect in relationship to the environment that I’m in.

Same goes for dress code at a wedding.

thanks for modding me to illustrate my point

Here comes the…......bride!?!

@ucme: The little shorty jumper looks like fun for the honeymoon suite!

@Neizvestnaya I agree, wholeheartedly!!

In my opinion, everyone should dress like hookers. Male or female. 24/7.

Now shut up and let me fluther. Oh. Wait. I am fluthering. [throws arms into the air… and catches them on the way back down. Pretty neat trick eh?]

LOL @wundayatta! That was good! Unlike that wedding dress….WTH?? What was she thinking???

@raven860 Well what does it matter what you would have thought if I, the host & the bride, would be fine with it?

It doesn’t, @Simone_De_Beauvoir. If it was known ahead of time that you had no dress code what-so-ever, then it’s your game because it’s your wedding. No complaints.

However, in the absence of any specifics, it’s only right to assume that, at the least, semi-formal attire (which does not include fuck-me-on-the-bar-attire) is what is called for at a wedding or a funeral. No brainer.

I can’t believe we’ve gotten to the point where we have to put preferred dress codes on wedding or funeral announcements.

@Dutchess_III I can’t believe it’s not totally understandable to want people to specify which dress code they’re looking for and if it includes a certain amount of modesty, if they are really concerned with that stuff, in this day and age of varying opinions and standards. It’s almost like asking someone to directly and effectively communicate with you instead of just demanding you read their mind.

What @Aethelflaed? You’ve confused me. I can’t tell if you’re saying that people should put dress codes on their formal wedding/funeral invitations or not….? Or if you’re being sarcastic. Please clarify….

It seems like some people are saying that they do not have to follow social convention (which of course they do not) but that they also believe that they are entitled to a certain amount of sensitivity and respect for their rejection of it (which of course they are not).
Anyway, should the invitation specify “No dressing up like a hooker please”?

@Dutchess_III If you want people to follow a dress code, you need to put that info out there. Maybe it’s on the formal invite, maybe it’s a call to everyone, I don’t really care how you go about doing it, but you do need to make it clear that there is an expected dress code. Same as if you have a “don’t bring your kids” policy, or a “no gifts” policy. Tons of formal invites have something saying “black tie”, or whatever your dress code of choice is. Otherwise, it’s up for interpretation, and you don’t get to pitch a hissy fit when someone doesn’t come up with your interpretation.

OK @Aethelflaed. Well, we were talking specifically about weddings, not some flexable function that could be either formal or casual.

This is a new twist. In the past it was just common knowledge that a formal invitation to a wedding always called for formal dress, at least to some degree. An invite to a “party” might stipulate “black tie” or “casual” to indicate what type of party, out of many different possible types of parties it could be. “Wedding” is only one thing.

It’s sad that we seem to have lost our common sense to the point that we have to put “No dressing like a hooker” on formal wedding invitations. I mean, how exactly would one put that? “Please dress accordingly”? How far does one have to spell it out?

@Dutchess_III The term “formal wedding invite” simply means the official wedding invite, with the proper and final date and place. The invite itself does not indicate a certain level of formality, as invites can look anything from this to this to this. I know one couple whose formal invites were Helvetica on color printer paper, printed off on their laser printer from Walmart and folded in 4ths, like homemade greeting cards. Weddings are actually largely varied affairs, not just more or less expensive version of the same level of formality. Weddings are also, and this is really key, entirely decided by the bride and groom and/or the people paying for it. There’s no law saying you can’t have a Star Wars theme wedding, or a Playboy Bunny theme wedding,or a casual barbecue wedding. It’s your wedding, you do with it as you please. I’ve gone to weddings where it wasn’t at all about the level of formality, but about the joy of the union and having all their friends and family there to celebrate with them, and some of them looked pretty much like all other weddings; you wouldn’t have known that the bride would have been totally ok if someone turned up in jeans or “hooker clothes”, so long as they turned up. And none of the various attires (black tie, white tie, cocktail, etc) actually specify the level of thigh and breast a woman may show; it’s surprisingly up for interpretation. So, yeah, if you care about that stuff, you’d best be specifying it. It’s not common sense to leave it out, it’s common sense to communicate your wishes with those you wish to follow them.

Well, @Aethelflaed, then I would say if you don’t really know the couple whose wedding invitation you are accepting, and the invitation doesn’t specify “Star Wars Theme,” then it’s up to you to find out the level of formality they might expect. Family and close friends know. If you aren’t family or a close friend, call one of them and double check. Don’t just assume a wedding is the place to strut your stuff unless it’s very, very low key. That’s an insult to the bride. If you don’t bother to find out, then assume it’s a class act. No see-through fishnet body hose allowed.

Common sense is, apparently, dead.

@Dutchess_III I agree. Seems common sense really is dead, when all anyone can focus on is the outrage of seeing a pair of breasts.

It is in very poor taste to obviously flaunt your breasts or any other aspect of your (society-constructed) sexuality at another woman’s wedding. Not the place or the time. Save it for the bar.

No dress code in invitation + clueless non-intentional provocatively dressed guests + bride and groom who couldn’t care less = shut up @josie

With formal or semi-formal dress code invitation + guests who deliberately dressed up provocatively ignoring the dress code + guests who gawked more at boobage = @josie has a point

Therefore, no dress code in invitation + guests who deliberately dressed up provocatively + clueless non-intentional provocatively dressed guests + bride and groom who couldn’t care less = @mazingerz88 and probably, @Blackberry wedding crashing time!

I would think that it depends on what the hosts implied would be okay as wedding attire. It wouldn’t be appropriate if one of the hosts asked the guests to dress a certain way and they pointedly did not, but if there was no indication of proper attire, I have no opinion on what they should or shouldn’t wear.
High heels and short skirts aren’t indicative of anything negative to me. I wouldn’t personally wear anything overly showy at a wedding, but am not offended at someone else doing so.

@Dutchess_III No that dress may have been worn for practical reasons. Maybe she just gave birth and the baby will need feeding during the ceremony. (excuse me padre… leans forward, plops baby on breast. Continue please.)
Or maybe all the cream in town had gone bad and she didn’t want anyone getting upset because there would be no cream in the coffee.
Or the groom was getting cold feet and she need him to focus on the girls he would be marrying..
Or if he did ditch her maybe she could convince his dad to marry her instead.
Or she knew some of her kissen cousins where going to bring their babies and she had already pick pig feet and moonshine for everyone else, and for the wee tots she would breast feed them.
Or maybe the poor child was a size A cup when she brought the dress and two bees stung her boobs right before the wedding and they just grew to the size of watermelons.
But your right. There is always the chance that she just had bad taste.

I think the question really is “Should people have to be told to dress appropriately for an occasion?” Apparently the answer is yes, which is sad, because you would think common sense would dictate that there is a certain way you dress for club hopping, vs, a job interview, vs. a wedding (at a formal venue) vs. a backyard barbecue, vs. brunch at the Waldorf, vs. whatever. When one gets an invitation to a venue, or plans to go to an event, that should somewhat determine what the dress code would be, without it having to be spelled out.

@jca, I agree. I went to a childs batism party where there were 12 and 14 (different parents) year olds wearing tight mini skirts. Sad thing was one of their mom was also wearing a tight short dress and low cut top.
Now heres the thing. The entire event was family. Who’s eyes did they want to catch?
It was a batism party.
It just seemed creepy and tacky all at the same time
I think some people can’t be told what to wear. The best one can do is not invite the people you feel will ruin your wedding.
After that event, my daughter told me that she will not be inviting many family members to her wedding, because she won’t be able to trust they won’t dress like they are going to the neighborhood bar..

@mazingerz88 I have never seen a dress code on a wedding or funeral invitation. For crying out loud. Have we become a nation of freaking morons that we have to put dress codes in the invitations??? REALLY?

@Dutchess_III Yes.

geez.

Dress codes—e.g. “white tie,” “black tie,” and “morning dress”—actually used to be more common on invitations than they are now and are still common for truly formal affairs.

I have seen invitations that specified “Black tie.” I have been invited to New Year’s Eve parties in a fancy Manhattan apartment that specified “Black Tie.”

You guys….I guess I haven’t been to enough weddings, but I’ve never seen a wedding invitation that specified “black tie” or anything else. It’s a given that you will wear nice clothes. Well, it used to be.

Parties are a whole different thing. Of course you need to specify that there is a dress code if there is one.