Have you ever hit your parents?

Oh, my gosh! Never, never, never, never.
First, I loved my parents. Second, my father would have killed me.
Sometimes parents are fustraiting, but they have your best interests at heart, though they don’t always show it.

No, and I never felt the urge to. My parents were very supportive.

My mother just insults me. Today she kept blaming me for my face condition. I was feeling horrible because of it, and instead of helping, she insulted me and screamed at me, told my father how I didn’t swim on vacation (which is absolutely out of nowhere). Every time I told her the truth about what I did, she just insulted me and said I did the opposite, frowning with a red disgusting usual face so I hit her and told her to shut the f. up…

This is similar to something happened when I was younger. I have nice, thick eyebrows. My mother always and always told me how huge and gorgeous my eyebrows were. She was obsessed with them. I hated them and all my friends had normal, thin eyebrows. So when I was 10 I took scissors and cut them a bit. I hid from my mother for a week… When she understood, she jumped on me, started beating me up like crazy on my bed, got on me and screamed and screamed and screamed as she beat the sh*t out of a 10 year old who cut her eyebrows a bit because they were too thick for her. Can’t believe I’m tearing right now.

Nope.

Umm. . .No! I would never, ever hit my mother. And she has been truly horrible at times. It is just unacceptable.

My parents had struggled breaking the circle of abuse (which they have), but during that time there were times in “self-defense” that I retaliated against my dad, I was scared that I was going to die. My mother however, I’ve never hit, but I confess that I have perhaps verbally and emotionally retaliated in a way that could be considered verbal and emotional abuse.

Never. If you feel the urge, walk out of the room.

Violence is never the answer.

Never! I can’t even imagine in it. I had a few heated arguments over the years, but physical violence against a parent? No, never. I had flawed but basically wonderful parents, particularly my father. I was very lucky.

I have not, nor will I ever, hit my parents.

My mom was the queen of slamming doors. That’s as violent as I ever got. I never considered hitting my parents. I’ve never even cursed at them.

You could try hitting a pillow if you feel like hitting something, but hitting your parents is the last thing you should do. I’m sorry you are having such a hard time.

Never.

I did slap my dad’s face once with a slice of bread covered in mayonnaise, though. I was making him a tuna sandwich, and he made the mistake of insulting me a little too harshly, so <fwap>, mayo on the face, sucka!

My parents are gone. If I had ever hit my mother, my dad would have beat the shit out of me. I would never have considered hitting my dad since he was perfectly capable of beating the shit out of me. Even after he taught me how to defend myself, I would have been defenseless against him.
Either way, it would have been a bad decision.

Never done that. Worse I ever did was when I was little, and playing around with my dad in the park. I was trying to make him trip by kicking his legs. Of course I wasn’t able to, and I’m sure those little kicks didn’t hurt him none, else he would have told me to stop. I did get a buncha bruises on my legs though. XD

First, you NEVER strike your parents. I do not care who you are or for what reason.

Second, you and your whole family need counseling in the worst way.

Third, this is just the beginning episode of a domestic homicide. You are on a path of destruction.

Seek help.

No, I have never hit one of my parents.

No.I did not hit my parents.

Lucy, good girl….......

Reacting violently is only going to create more violence. You are on a path to destruction.

I’ve never hit my parents, step-parents or any relatives, even when I was being hit.

I know this is really hard for you because it seems like you’re still emotionally linked/tied up to your mother. If you could somehow develop an emotional wall between your mother and your reactions, I think that would be a good first step. Like, when she becomes insulting and attacks you, have a wall up where her words do not create a reaction from you. If you don’t react, the situation can’t get worse. That can be a first step while you look for help.

Are you in a place where you can get help or support?

@QueenOfNowhere When are you going to move out of your parents house? It doesn’t sound like a very healthy environment for you to be in, and unless I’m mistaken you’re old enough to be on your own..?

@everyonewhosaidyoushouldneverhitback Really? Not even when you’re being thrown so hard against the wall you’re putting holes in them? Or you have to wear turtlenecks and jeans to hide your bruised and abused body? Not even when you’re being choked out to the extent where everything is going black? Not even when you’re getting 2×4’s broken over your head and arms that are trying to protect your head? Not even when metals rods, spatulas, wire hangers, broken or bent from hitting your body over and over and over again? I’m just supposed to lay there and take it when even the police and my teachers buy my parents’ story, really?

I lived nearly 10 years like this. I’m glad for my younger two brothers that they were finally able to overcome and break out of the circle of abuse, but I can never bring myself to say, “I forgive you,” who knows? Maybe my suicidal tendency is partially a last “fuck you” to them

Nope never!!!!

Oh, no. No way.

My guardian would have literally killed me with her bare hands. Growing up, I saw that woman take down 6’ + grown men. No way in hell would I raise a hand to her, not even in self defence. No way would I have overcome all that inchoate rage just itching for an excuse to give me a face-pummeling beat down. No, no, no.

I once slapped my mother accross the face. She was drunk. Again. (But you should really get away from your parents if they upset you this badly. Just go away graciously…)

I would’ve never dreamed of hitting my mom. Even when she did hit me.
In your case it sounds as if both your mother and you have some problems. This is not normal behavior. As already mentioned, you need to seek help. Not look for someone to tell you that violence is ok. What you describe is mental abuse and it may be harder to prove but once you put it out there to some sort of counselor, they have to try to make an effort to better your situation. Even if its just you getting counseling. You need it desperately.
As for parents not believing in you. You are not the first or the last to ever be in that situation.
I have a question for you. Can you say without a doubt that you have always, and I mean always been truthful with your parents. You never covered anything up or done something you know they would disapprove of. If you haven’t then your mother needs help. If you have don’t things in th past that they became aware of later, than you only have yourself to blame for their distrust.
@King_Pariah In her case she was not defending herself from physical abuse. In your case you are mentioning physical abuse. In which case there are school couselors or even the police or teacher or preacher, in which the child can report physical abuse. Bruises and broken bones are hard for any parent to disprove. If the child is old enough to fight back they are old enough to seek help.

Never. When I got that angry, I walked away and let myself cool off.

@King_Pariah I don’t think people are indirectly judging you. All of the comments are just stating what they would do in their current experience, with their current family- and for them their answer is no. If the question was “If you lived in King Pariah’s house… would you?” that’d be different. I don’t think many of us can relate to your experience.

If I had lived in your house… I’m a really passive person when involved in a conflict, but pushed to that point, I don’t know how I would’ve reacted. It’s hard to say for sure how I would react in your situation.

I’m glad you got out of this situation and that it’s better for your brothers.

What concerns me the most about your question, is this:

Will you carry on this abuse to your children? Is this just a way of life for you and your family? I sense bad vibes, if something is not changed in your family and your way of thinking.

Please take my advice and seek counseling. If your family will not go, then you go yourself. If you do not know where to start, then flag down any police officer and explain your family situation. The officer will guide you to the right people.

Nope, and my parents have never hit me either. My parents taught that violence wasn’t the answer; they didn’t show it to me and I didn’t show it to them. Of course, I have hit my siblings plenty of times…but nothing made my parents more angry than when we would fight, especially if it was physical.

No. Violence is never the way to deal with feelings of anger and frustration. If things were that tough you should have walked away.

The last time my mom hit me (she had a bad habit of that) all I did was say, “I thought you were over that”.

Eh sorry, intoxicated ish and @john65pennington‘s earlier comment kind of got to me, the one that pretty much said you should never hit your parents for whatever reason.

HELL NO! I would NOT be here writing this if I did!! HS!! What are you nuts??? Count your blessings you are still conscious!

@King_Pariah

Most people can’t fathom a situation in which it would ever happen. Most people don’t have to defend themselves against their parents and it’s a sad situation when people do. I personally would defend myself against anyone physically hurting me, no matter who they were.

@DominicX Thanks, I’m little more clear headed than I was before and realize I probably shouldn’t have had that angry outburst. Oh well, stupid silly drunk old me.

@King_Pariah I understand where you’re coming from because my existence for too many years was hellish. But we all still understood that if things got that bad then we needed to call the police and not retaliate.

@tranquilsea a neighbor made the call and the cops just came and asked my parents if I was being abused to which they responded no, the cops did nothing, and (@john65pennington no offense or to any other officer here on fluther) that’s probably why I hold a strong disgust towards law enforcement.

I made the mistake once of muttering the word “bitch” under my breath in reference to my mother. I didn’t know my dad was home. He had just been bumped to second shift and was in the bathroom getting ready for work.

I got the shit knocked out of me by a very angry, hungover man in his tidy whiteys. It sounds funny but let me assure you, it wasn’t.

I couldn’t say I never as I had done it sometimes as a child. My parents, especially my wicked mother that I don’t care anymore these days used to prefer physical abuse to teach her children, especially when our dad’s away. When I reached my teen I could finally fight back and I only do it as self-defense, I wish I could sue her that time for abusing me like that but I realize that I was still in her custody so I can only fight back all the time.

I’m so grateful that I don’t have to live in the same home with her again. I’m not a rough person, when someone tries to spark a conflict I’ll usually remove myself from the scene, if they’re persistent I won’t hesitate to fight back.

I don’t think it’s your fault since you’ve sincerely tried to tell them and they’re just too ignorant to stop their negativity, maybe after you’ve hit her she’ll finally begin to understand not to push you too far again next time.

I have no idea what is going on with you and your family, but it sounds like you are very messed up. You should seriously consider getting some therapy. I don’t know how old you are, no one does, actually, because you have stated that you are over 18, yet most of your questions, immature attitude, and responses suggest that you are much younger. And there has been some discrepancy about you stating that your mother died of cancer, but here you are talking about your mother. I also noticed that you put up a somewhat sexually provavactive photo on your avatar of what looks like about a 14 year old girl. Not sure if that is you or someone else.The other thing that bothers me about you, and makes me think that someone in your family has sexually abused you, is that most of your questions involve sex, or “butt hole washers” (a term that you used for a bidet, that no one else ever would use) and men taking advantage of young girls, and young girls seducing older men. There is something seriously wrong happening with you and your family. I would hope that you might be able to get some family counseling, if not I strongly urge you to get some help on your own, either through your school or your faith or through governmental health services, but please get some help. Even if you feel the urge to get violent with your parents, please resist that urge. That will only cause you and them serious damage. Get out if you have to, but make sure that you get some type of counseling to deal with all of the problems that you seem to have. The rest of the collective might be interested to check out your profile and the other questions you have asked. Maybe someone has some good ideas on how to better help you. God bless you, child.

@Kardamom Thanks you. I’m 19 and yes I am immature in many ways. If you think that photo is sexually “provavactive” then that’s a problem you should seek help for.
Nobody in my family ever abused me but thanks for wondering. If they did I would say it on fluther since I don’t hide anything here. I wouldn’t go around talking about those things in real life. I ask about sexual things because I am writing a screenplay, and it really helps to see what people here think since most people here are very interesting. @FutureMemory @Kardamom I’m old enough and I am leaving in 5 days… I don’t think I need a therapist since I’m moving out. I always thought we were a normal family though. I have seen other people and their families… They seemed really messed up compared to mine. I know my mother is not normal but that made me think of the whole human beings as idiots that I don’t want to deal with. She can be an angel, but then she has this other side that I mentioned. We hug and kiss everyday. But then she cares about what people think a lot. She is a hard to understand person. Maybe it is because of her past… Her parents didn’t even have money to buy food, her father always abused her and her mother always told her that her father is the worst person ever. Then she studied nonstop, different than everyone around her. She won the best school in Europe for law and graduated from there, now I am going to study in US because of her hard work all her life.
Yesterday I was really angry but right now I think I really should learn to do what @linguaphile said. My brother does that perfectly (he is 30 now) and it seems like they have a nice, calm relationship after all.

Well I wish I could change the past but I can’t. Beating up a defend less daughter is really, really wrong and can’t believe it. My dad also used to hit me, and for the past 2 years he has never hit me, and he is being extremely nice to me. I love my parents in general but I don’t get along with them and I wouldn’t live with my mother forever if I had a choice.

You know what I realized just yesterday, all my life, I was not aloud to make mistakes. Even small ones like cutting my eyebrows. It was reacted immediately. I don’t remember one time making a mistake and my parents saying its okay and showing the other way “nicely”.

@tranquilsea Ah I wish my mother would chill out after I say “I thought you were over that” She keeps going on and on and on, telling me the other way, yelling at me then she runs to my dad talks crap about me right next to me. Lol…

I think it’s a really bad idea to hit your parents, but if you raise your children so badly and treat them like crap, well that’s what you get. On the other hand, I think it is far more important that you never hit your kids.

I remember my brother, who was 6’3 and about 17 years old, stood up to my Mom, and told her he was gonna do what he wanted.
Well, she stood up (all 5’2 of her) and said “I’ll kick your ass if I have to get a ladder to do it!”

I swear, if they made a movie of my Mom, sometimes they would have to get Clint Eastwood to play her.