How do I distance myself from people without completely shutting them out?

I feel for you @cliofaye. Honestly I feel therapy would be the best way to find these answers. You’d be able to work through your grief, work out your anger, and heal your self while gaining knowledge on how to participate in healthy relationships.

If you can’t afford therapy, or your guardians aren’t willing to help you get better find a local charity or service that will help you get the assistance you need. If your school system has a psychologist, ask for help.

You’ve been through so much so fast. It’d be a lot for anyone to sort through.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

@cliofaye, sounds like you need to draw back and receive fresh inspiration so that you have more light for your own journey. It also seems that you have a gift of being able to encourage others. While I am new to fluther, it seems to me that you were put on this earth for a supportive role even as you gain your own wisdom. You may be young, take the time you need, and know that your life has lots of purpose and much better days are ahead if you keep nurturing your own heart. Reach out and ask for what you need from those who are in a position to be supportive to you.

I read on one of your other questions that you have been to therapists but they haven’t helped. I want to encourage you not to give up on counselling. I went through many, many before I found someone who could start to help. You’ve been through a lot and it’s going to take you time and support to get through it but you will get through it.

Be careful your not pushing people away because you are depressed. It is easy to disappear when what you may really need is people around you that can support you.

It depends.. For how long? If it’s at intervals then simply take a vacation from the hubbub. No one should deny you a ‘rest’ period. Quit looking at it like you owe them your undivided attention, when you do that it gives them the belief that that’s what you desire and as such resemble users and seem (to you) that their chocking you. Tell them up front that you’re going on holiday for an extended period of time then when you choose to “open shop” again, those who are your friend.. those who view youir advice as helpful will return and as for the others? Sounds like users who don’t respect your needs. Make new friends.

You just tell them you are busy [but don’t lie just use a lame excuse for something]. After a while people won’t bother you that much and get the idea you want time for yourself.

Oh geez. I’m so not the person to be answering this question—unless you want to know what not to do.

But I just wanted to give you a hug from someone who can relate. And wish you well on your way to where you want to be.

I try and make sure that I have at least two evenings a week to myself. It gives me my alone time without becoming a recluse (which came close to happening a few years ago when I only wanted to be alone.)

You don’t have to distance yourself. You have to set boundaries. This will probably mean saying no to some people some of the time.

In order to give you any more specific advice, I’d have to hear specifics about how people ask you for time and how they take up time. Time is precious. If you set limits on the time you spend with others, you can get more for yourself. If you can’t set limits and enforce them, a therapist should be able to help.