Why do people change?

It’s just a part of life, ya know? You will change as well. You may be a completely different person (personality and idea-wise) in 20 years. You grow up doing different things, and meeting new people (who will affect how you change as well).

People are human – they are affected by those around them; by things happening around them, be it at work, school, home; they can be affected by things that are untrue, but if they are unaware of this then the untruth will affect them; they can be affected by how much sleep they are currently getting, or by what foods they are eating; they can be affected by what they are drinking, smoking, injecting etc…

If you are concerned that a friend has changed for the worse, there are many things to look at: Is it really for the worse, or is that only in your opinion? What else is going on in their life? Is there anything you can do to help?

Either way, change is a part of life, it is a survival technique (just look at nature), and it is something to become used to – try to embrace it, for it will not change! ;-)

You can’t stop change. It is flowing constantly like a stream. If you try to hold it back, you will likely drown.

Have a number of your friends changed in how they treat you? If so, you need to look at your behavior to see if you have changed. Ask them what’s going on.

Are you the same person you were when you were 10 years old?
Are you the same person you were when you were 5 years old?
Are you the same person you were prior to college?

At what point do we declare that this is who we are? And does it really make sense for me to even refer to “myself” in the past, as though that person is really the same person who is typing these idiotic words here right now?

Everything and everyone is in a perpetual state of change. That can feel good sometimes, and sometimes it can feel real shitty – especially if you and a friend or SO change in ways that make being together incompatible.

@Tbag, I toss my coin in with those who are saying that change is inevitable. We are all on individual trips through this world, a little like bumper cars at the midway sometimes. We would love it if we could just hold life still at a certain spot where situations and relationships just keep on keeping on like a sunny summer morning but new circumstances change things as do choices other make. We might feel those choices aren’t for the good and maybe that is the way history will prove it out, but….we can’t stop people from freedom of choice. We can try to INFLUENCE decisions that our loved ones are about to make by pointing out some pitfalls we might see, but anything stronger is interference, manipulation, control. All yukky stuff.

Many people change for the better – would you have them stay as they were? On the whole, I think I have changed for the better in many ways in the last 25 years. My ex might not agree with that, but I think many of my friends would, especially those that have known me a long long time.

Change isn’t always good, but its always inevitable.

As others have pointed out, change is inevitable, and other people will always change.

You need to realize that a further implication of that is that you change (and have changed) as well, and they may be reacting badly to change that they have perceived in you.

Like @Pandora said…change is inevitable especially with people. How you deal with it is up to you and sometimes you take it on the chin in the process. You just have to accept it and move along with your day the best way you can.

Change is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It is human beings that make that value judgment and we have a choice about what judgment to make.

If it’s something you can influence, then it might be worth making a judgment and figuring out what you can do about it. But if you can’t control it, then there’s no point in judging it. It’ll only make you frustrated.

To deal with this, you need to be aware of what you can affect and what you can’t. If another person changes, you can’t affect that. A lot of people try. A lot of people fail.

So how do we handle things that change, where we don’t like the change, but can’t do anything about it? I choose to treat it like any other constraint in my life. I can’t fly so I don’t jump off of high places. I walk down. I only have a certain amount of money, so I live within my means.

We all work with millions of constraints. Our physical environment is something that we mostly can’t change. Our body chemistry is something we mostly can’t change. The structure of our bodies; the availability of gold; the speed of light—all things we can’t change, so we deal with them.

Your friend changed in a way you don’t like. You can’t change that, so you have to work with it the way it is. It’s like your house gets hit by a tornado. You can’t undo the tornado. You move on and figure out what to do next, given that your house was destroyed.

A relationship changed. You can’t do anything about that. So move forward, dealing with the new reality. What else can you do?

Most people find that when they “turn lemons into lemonade,” it is a good thing. So you will move on, and new things will happen that could not have happened had you not moved on. Eventually you will realize that this really good thing could never have happened if you hadn’t had the old relationship change for the worse. If I hadn’t been fired from my old job, then I still would be terribly miserable. Instead I was fired, and now I have a great job.

This always happens. People always move on to something else and they almost always say it is a good thing. You’re better off now; you just don’t know it yet. Thus, change is good because it opens up new opportunities. If you work with the new opportunities, you will find something better than what you had.

People respond and react to their various experiences in life. The result will be a change for the better or worse. To live is not to just exist.

Life transitions happen. From the way in which you asked this, I’d say you are having difficulty making transitions and your loved ones/friends aren’t.

It’s not so much change as much as it is their masks falling away to expose who they really are.

Simple, people do, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worst. We just have to roll with it and be true to ourselves.

People can change for better or for worse.
It depends on the incident but more importantly on the person.
If they are willing to accept the unfortunate event and take it as a life lesson to turn it all around and become a better person.

Thank goodness people change. That’s what growing up is all about. Change may hurt, no question “Try to Remember,” a song from The Fantasticks has some wonderful lyrics about the subject: “without a hurt, the heart is hollow.” The Velveteen Rabbit, a kid’s book with a grownup message is also helpful (whatever your age) for coping with the pain of change.
They don’t call them “growing pains” for nothing.
And always remember: the only person in the world you can change is yourself.

All things
and all people change.

It’s called LIFE.