I am a step-parent of a child who has yet to “fly the coop” he’s 26
In December his girlfriend moved in with us, ten months pregnant
Under one roof we have:
Me, my husband, my 12 year old daughter, my step-son, his girlfriend and a 6 month old baby
(and only one and a half bath)
The third floor is a loft so they live up there
Here are the pros for them:
They have a place to live but they don’t have 99.9% of the expenses of ‘living’ somewhere.
They don’t have a property tax bill, an electric bill, a water bill, a sewer bill, a cable bill, a phone bill for the house phone, a grocery bill or any other bill than their cell phones, credit cards, car payment and car insurance, and food and diapers for the baby.
They can come and go as they please without saying where they’re going, when they’ll be home IF they’ll be home, etc…
They don’t clean ANY of the common areas of the home, regardless of how much they use them or how much they contribute to the mess/dirt in them. They clean no more than “their” space.
They have meals available to them whenever they are around at meal time
They have a well stocked refrigerator and pantry at their disposal
Clean dishes, utensils and glasses miraculously appear in the cabinet all the time!
They have a built in free baby-sitter: my husband will take his grand-son any day/night at a moments notice when they want to go out and do something.
When rent isn’t paid, they’re not coming home to a padlock on their door, with a landlord who will yard sale their stuff to get some of the rent money owed back. (We’ve gotten rent exactly twice since December)
Here are their cons:
It’s not “their own” place!
“the loft is kind of small for both of us, the baby and all the furniture”
They have less privacy than if they lived on their own. We know it every time they argue/fight.
Do you want to know what OUR cons are?
I have two adults living under my roof that treat the place like it’s a hotel, who come and go as they please and don’t do JACK to help out with anything, nor are they doing anything tangible to help out their own situation.
My workload around the house has increased exponentially. (four adults and one teen are way more work than two adults and a teen and one adult who’s only around sometimes)
They take up the entire couch, the two of them, when my husband and I have to sit on the loveseat to watch tv
They hog the remote and don’t ask what anyone else cares to watch, and flip through channel after channel after channel never actually watching a progrtam until we have had enough and take the remote back.
Every single bill is higher, the only one not because of their living with us being higher is the property tax bill.
We can’t use our own washer and dryer when we want, because there always seems to be clothes in them, half the time they leave things in the washing machine for over a day and the clothes smell so badly they have to be re-washed, therefore increasing my electricity and water/sewer bill even MORE
Mail goes missing, it just disappears… stupid stuff, like the offers I get from Guess, or the department stores and important things, like vehicle registration renewal cards
My stress level is through the roof:
Every time I see that they buy themselves something new that they could have done without, knowing that they haven’t paid us rent that month, or when I see that she’s just gotten her nails, done, her toes done, her hair done, her eyebrows waxed, new shoes… etc… things that I now can’t afford to spend on myself because of the increased expenses of having these people around all the time.
My husbands stress level is through the roof, because I bi&ch about all of the above and he knows its’ all true, yet it’s his son and he’s not willing to throw the leach-job out onto the street, or enforce any of the house rules about chores and rent. (I quit bitching… it’s
My relationship with my husband has been damaged… I quit bitching because I understand its his child, but now I suffer in silence and I wonder how that will bode with me and him in the long run…
I believe that this is setting a HORRIBLE example for my 12 year old daughter for A) getting knocked up at 19 years old without an education, unmarried and no place else to go, and B) that it’s giving the impression that it’s OK to sponge off your parents for as long as you please.
The Pro’s for us:
Our grandchild lives there and we get to see him more often than if they lived on their own.
Composing members:
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Composing members:
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