Wow. I’d go out of my mind if my kids were up that late. That’s the only time my husband and I can have a normal conversation or watch what we like on television!
Anyway, during the summer our 6 and 7 year old boys go to bed at 8:00. At some point before then, they get ready for bed. We read for a while (or sometimes just watch TV because, after all, it’s summer!), but unless there’s something special going on they are in bed at 8:00, lights out, and most of the time we don’t hear a peep from them until about 6:30 in the morning.
Our 12 year old daughter also gets ready for bed before 8:00, but she can spend the next hour or so in her room doing quiet things like reading, drawing, listening to music, or whatever. Mostly this makes it easy to get the boys to sleep. She doesn’t really HAVE to stay in her room, but sometimes we’ll watch something together or play a card game or paint our nails. She doesn’t have a phone, TV, or computer in her room. Lights out is 9:30, and then she’ll get up anywhere between 7:00 and 9:00 just because it’s summer. I don’t let her sleep past 9 or she has a hard time falling asleep at night.
During the school year, the boys have reading time each night for at least 20 minutes and lights are out at 7:30. They fall asleep pretty quickly and easily. They still get up around 6:30, which gives them more than enough time to get ready for school. Our 12 year old has the same routine, but lights are out at 9:00 and she sets her alarm for 6:00.
Not going to bed easily and on time has never been an option for our kids. They are loud, stubborn, and persistent but we’ve always insisted on early bedtime with a strict and consistent routine. I wouldn’t even know how to begin starting an early bedtime with a 9 year old, other than to apply to his reason. What is keeping him awake for so long? Is he getting up, doing other things?
I guess I’d sit him down and explain he needs a better sleep schedule for his own health and for your sanity. Ask him what he thinks is a reasonable bedtime. When do his friends go to bed? Take his opinions into consideration (hopefully) and come up with a time you can both live with. If he doesn’t go to bed, he starts to lose out on things he enjoys. I’d take away things like cell phone if he has one, video games, TV, computer. Stick with it. He’s certainly old enough to understand such a policy, but if he’s used to doing what he wants you might have a battle on your hands. For summer and weekends, don’t go so far off that schedule. Keep everything within a half hour time line, and if sleeping in makes it hard for him to go to bed at night, just wake him up earlier.
In addition, I’d make him get up at a decent time and make sure he has plenty of physical activity during the day. Wear that kid out!