In a perfect Fluther...
Asked by
_zen_ (
7857
)
August 22nd, 2011
What’s on your mind, Jelly?
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52 Answers
People that post stupid chain e-mails would get a timeout.
…. there would at least be one question in General, one question in Social and one half of a question in Meta every hour.
Maybe hold some in stock for those quiet days (like last weekend).
In a perfect Fluther, jellies would think before posting. That is all.
Folks who use 80 badly thought-out words where ten would do would learn to edit;
Folks who invent mixed metaphors and nonsensical poetic images would learn about concrete examples;
Folks who guess at answers and present them as facts or proven data would be forced to follow their own advice;
Folks who present ludicrous either/or scenarios of dubious worth would be sent to dancing school and forced to wear white gloves and learn the box step.
I’d be able to block those few users who answers and questions I would rather not even see.
People will focus on the question or answer in the spirit of the question or answer and not sink into unthinking emotion.
Someone would bring snacks to my house. And other stuff I won’t say cuz I’m having a pissy high-pain day.
One pineapple upside down cake for @JilltheTooth coming right up.
@hawaii_jake : I can feel the pain subsiding as we speak! Nom nom nom…
I would bring all of you brownies, every day.
I’ll bring my brownies too. Haha
I have no complaints, I find a lot of humor and amusement in fluther.
The college kids would learn some people skills.
People wouldn’t ask questions just for the sake of asking questions. Just because you’re allowed a certain number of them doesn’t mean you have to use them all.
And people wouldn’t use threads like it’s a chat room. Yes, we do have one of those. (I think this is why I hardly read any other answers anymore. Discouraging.)
@Allie I do that all the time. Does that mean I am not in your Fluther?
I could make long strides towards minimizing my arrogance and self-righteousness, and others could do the same.
If you have no interest in actually learning anything and slap a question mark on something you want to share you should get a fucking blog.
Questions and answers that are obviously there to incite would be judiciously ignored and allowed to die a quiet and much deserved death.
I could take all the jellies pain, ball it up, and throw it in the ocean. I’m a dreamer.
Jellies would be a little more chill.
and someone would bring cookies every day
In a perfect Fluther, jellies would read the details of the question.
In a perfect Fluther, jellies would think before posting.
Oops! that’s been said already.
People will focus on the question or answer in the spirit of the question or answer and not sink into unthinking emotion.
Oops! that’s been said already.
Redacted.
Oops! that’s been said already.
In a perfect Fluther, jellies would read the details of the question.
Oops! that’s been said already.
Oh well, it’s a good thing Fluther isn’t perfect.:P
Fluther is perfect.
It’s the interplay between the shit I hate and the shit I love that keeps me coming back.
search your feelings jellys. you know this to be true.
Olisin iloinen, jos totuus olisi vain tehdä minulle voileivän.
Recipe for:
LUTEFISK PUDDING
2 c. cooked & flaked lutefisk
1 tsp. salt
½ c. rice
1 c. water
1 c. milk
2 eggs
2 tbsp. butter
Cook rice in water with the salt until done. Beat eggs and add milk. Pour over the rice, lutefisk and butter. Put in buttered baking dish and bake until done (put knife in center, done when knife comes out clean).
In a perfect Fluther, I’d be out of a job. ~
@AmWiser: ^^ Slice and slap between two slices of bread.
@augustlan: Au contraire, chére; without you, fluther would be flawed indeed.
In a perfect Fluther, this question would have gotten a Question Of The Day.
Google çevirmenin harika.
In a perfect fluther, the scents of all the flowers would change randomly. Lunch boxes would work equally well upside down or upside up. There would be a petting zoo. Free cocktails starting at 3 PM. Personal visits by politicians seeking to explain their ridiculous points of view. A rhyme function that automatically turns answers into rhyming iambic pentameter. Zen is God (a purely ceremonial position). Free lunch. Winning lotto tickets free with every piano purchase. And so on and so on ad infinitum, every day at 11 and twice on Sundays.
People wouldn’t ask questions that can be simply googled and we would all respect each others opinions. No flame bait allowed.
Everyone can freely speak their mind and get all kind of accurate answers that intended to help the OP, regarding to the question. Free of discrimination, free of intimidation, free of insinuation.
Webcam compatible & a spring loaded boxing glove button, that would be perfick! ;¬}
The older jellies would be nicer to the younger ones and general wouldn’t stink that much.
…someone would bake me cookies.
The people who answered my questions well would ask a question I knew the answer to, so I could help them back somehow.
Spelling and punctuation would automatically be perfect. All questions and answers would be clear.
This is harder to answer than I thought. Fluther works pretty well as is.
@wundayatta & @gailcalled had good ideas.
I resent being called older. I’ve just been here longer than most.
In a perfect fluther, I would not be so late to questions such as this!
And @zen would have received more than 3 (now 4 thanks to me) for this excellent, non flame baiting question.
@sophiesword OK. I vow to do something nice today for a “younger” jelly. I just don’t know what yet.
@JilltheTooth I’ll always try to do something nice for you, sweetie.
In a perfect Fluther, things would be pretty much the way they are.
And a penguin would read to you at night before bed.
(Does that sound a little creepy?)
@Imadethisupwithnoforethought: The people who answered my questions well would ask a question I knew the answer to, so I could help them back somehow.
That’s called reciprocity, dude, (speaking of brevity).
Answer this question 
