Weddings- What's important, what isn't?

Having the people you want to share the day with you there and being happy. That’s really what’s important.

IMO the only thing that is going to be important is your happiness and what you want. Your wedding day should be most memorable to you and your S/O.
Congratulations!

Aw, you guys are sweet. Thanks!
But really… be brutally honest. :) You’ve never walked away from a wedding thinking it could have been waaay prettier if they had thought more about the flowers, or that they couple clearly got a cheapo, nasty cake? Or, in retrospect, wished you’d focused more on something at your own wedding?

Do it your way. You won’t have another chance to do it all the way you want it.

This is your day (and of course your partner’s), so do as you two want. The only thing that is important is that you both go into this agreement willingly and without reservations. Past that, anything goes.

Every person has their own opinion of what an ideal wedding looks like, so the more people you ask, the more confusing it can get. If you are looking for ideas, then let us know what you have in mind, and we would be happy to brain-storm with you.

I agree with the others who say do what you want to do. I let my mother change my mind about the actual date of my wedding, and I let my bridesmaid change the color of her dress to one I didn’t really like, but the color suited her better. ugh

Looking back I wish I would have spoke up instead of cave like I did.

Do it your way. =)

I do think having food that people enjoy is very nice. It doesn’t have to be fancy or extravagant but people do notice if they leave hungry. Also, having a DJ or band that is so loud that people can’t hear each other is a big turn-off in my opiniion.

@Pied Pfeffer has a good idea. We can brainstorm with you when you have specific issues but I still stand by my original thoughts.

First thing to do is set your budget. Then figure to spend at least half again what you are planning to spend.

Get the JP, preacher or whoever you want to officiate lined up next. Most have a list of what they will do and don’t. Shop around some will insist on certain venues or days of the week and times.

Get one you can work with. As the others have said if you have specific questions they will be easier to answer. This is kind of too broad a subject to really help with.

Where: Choose the venue that you want to remember. It will be in all the pictures, too.

What: This is for all those details of the physical things like your dress, the tuxedos, the cake, the flowers, etc. We need specific questions about this to help. Obviously, we can’t help you pic out a dress, but we can help you with ideas about the cake, etc.

Who: Invite the people you want to share the day with. Remember that you can always send announcements instead of invitations to others.

How: Do you want to have a limousine? How many bridesmaids do you want? Is there a religious aspect to the ceremony? Etc.

There are many questions that you get to ask. Lucky you!

By the way, congratulations!

Ditto @janbb.
@qiddidyquestions, yes I have walked away from many weddings thinking ‘what were they thinking when they did thus and thus’. But in hindsight I was not paying for anything and my taste are not the brides taste, so let her have her day. My new motto now is ‘If you like it, I love it!’

Creating the ceremony and reception that you want while remembering that it is about being married not about the wedding.

I hope I never go to a wedding and think “what were they thinking…” You’re paying for it, it’s about you, you should be able to do what you want without people passing judgment and not accepting who you are. I agree with @AmWiser – “If you like it, I love it!” – can’t think of a better way to put it.

There are two times I walked out of a wedding puzzled. One was when a friend of mine and her husband walked at a brisk pace up the aisle and had the ceremony over in 20 minutes. It was like the whole thing was in fast forward—no mood, no romance, all business and they were so bland about it. They’re still married after 20 years so something must have been right for them :D It was THEIR wedding, not mine, so I just shrugged it off. It wasn’t wrong, just not what I was used to.

The other was a $25K wedding—It was so elaborate, complete with horse and carriage for the wedding party. The reason I winced: it was outside… at 1PM… in August… in humid Georgia, next to a water moccasin infested creek. Since I was in the wedding party and had to stand 2 feet from the creek, I was skeeeeeeer’t, quaking in my heels! I’m sure to innocent eyes, it was a beautiful wedding, but to a Southern girl who knows her ‘cricks’...whoo.

The important thing…. have a wonderful time. Laugh off the mistakes, because they will happen, spend at least 3 minutes (depending on how many people you invited) with each one of your guests at the reception so nobody leaves feeling hurt. Make an agreement with your husband that neither one of you will complain about things at the wedding afterwards- just take it as a whole package. And don’t make your poor bridesmaids stand next to a snake infested creek. :D :D :D

I have been to all kinds of weddings, from simple, low-key Protestant church ceremonies to big, uproarious Italian family gatherings, from a home-brewed event on the beach in the rain to a dress-up affair at a Spanish mission. I’ve loved them all. I think the range of taste and creativity shown was wonderful. I’d say put the emphasis on whatever means the most to you: location, flowers, pictures, music, attire, guest list—you name it. The whole event is an expression and celebration of you as a couple, and you should set your priorities according to what matters most to you.

The only one—the only one—where I had a problem with the couple’s choices was the one where the ceremony and reception were held at a location where there was no bathroom for the guests. There were two porta-potties out back, and over the roughly 5-hour period of the event (after driving a long way to get there), we had to climb in there in our nice suits or dresses, with no place to wash our hands. I did wonder, “What were they thinking?”

That it’s a celebration, that your guests are comfortable and feel relaxed to enjoy themselves with you.

My regrets from my 1st wedding:
Lousy food
No music

No one cared about the decorations or the cake or how good/bad/type of alcohol served was but after a long ceremony which most had spent a few hours getting ready for and driving to and then driving again to a reception, they wanted to sit down and have something good to eat. Our caterer was awful. Music would have lightened the disappointing meal.

The things I notice at a wedding are: the ambience of the place, the food and if there was anything that stood out from other weddings.

Use lots and lots of flowers and lights if a night/evening wedding. I’ve always felt they make the venue look magical.

Make sure the food that you are serving is good because that is what people will remember whether they admit it or not.

Have personalized party favours (don’t know what they are called for weddings) in form of candies or something. It’s inexpensive and looks very cute. When my friends got married they got some choclatier to put their initials on M&M type candies.

People don’t care about the food, but do care about the flowers? I always, always care about the food, and rarely the flowers.

Do it the way you want to. You know better than anyone if photos do turn out to be important, and if the candid camera phone shots are good enough or if you live professional ones.

Just thought of this… this is pretty expensive for some peoples’ budgets, but was one of the best things two of my friends had at their weddings: photo booth

It’s fun and the wedding attendees really get into it. This particular booth prints 2 of each strip of photos, one for the guest and another for the bride/groom’s album. I LOVED it better than most favors I received.

Not everyone remembers the food, @sarahhhhh. The only food I remember from any wedding is the beach wedding because they ordered in Kentucky Fried Chicken by the bucketload. That was more than 30 years ago, and it still holds a record in my mind for casualness. And nobody cared that it wasn’t fancy. The bride told us to come in jeans.

Oh, wait, there was my cousin’s, at the opposite end of the scale. I never saw so much shrimp cocktail in one place. And there were little flower blossoms on everything.

Having friends and family there is most important.

Was an usher for a good mates wedding at the weekend. He had no blood relations at all attending, so in his speech, it was extremely nice for him to mention how happy he was for us to be there.

Surround yourself with the people you love.

Do NOT hand out disposable cameras. Maybe 30% of the pics will be decent (meaning you can see and identify the people)... of those maybe 10% will be quality photos. Most of the remaining will be pics of the floor, food, and people’s feet, because they’re taken by kids with nothing else to do. Oh, and the rest will be “surprise” pics taken in the bathrooms. And the best part, you get to pay to develop each and every one.