Should I feel bad about asking for a reference? Plus more...

Asking for a reference from an immediate supervisor is not really asking for a favor. It is just business as usual.

So, don’t feel bad about asking people from Company A to provide references.

Also, don’t ask the person that you have a bad feeling about. Is there someone else in management at that job that could give you a reference?

@marinelife Thanks for the reply. The second company only had two people (start up) and they were married.

I have former employees I haven’t heard from in ages asking me for references all the time. It’s not a big deal. Who cares if they think you’re making nice because you want a reference. You can disprove that theory simply by staying in touch afterwards.

Don’t ask the former boss you hate. Never, ever, ever ask for a reference from anyone unless you are dead sure it will be a good reference.

If you are in the US, and a company requests references, all you need to provide is the name of the company and contact information. If the previous employer has any knowledge on US law, they know that they are only required to provide confirmation to the hire and termination dates, and salary range listed on your application. They can also share if you would be eligible for rehire.

As a former hiring manager, I did check references. Most were taken with a grain of salt unless there was a pattern or major discrepancy. Letters of reference meant little unless followed up on and confirmed.

If Company A has an HR dept., just give a contact name and number. If Company B wants a written confirmation, then contact Company A yourself and ask for it.

Company A doesn’t have an HR dept. Are you saying that I don’t need to ask to use them as a reference? That I simply provide new people (university, not company) with contact info ?

If the company doesn’t have an HR dept., then most likely the reference checker will ask for or get routed to the person you last reported to. If that person still works for the company, then it would be a professional courtesy to let them know that they may be receiving a call from a potential employer. I’ve had this done, and all that was needed was a “Hi, I’m applying for a job and have put you down as a reference for Company A. I just wanted to give you a heads-up in case they call.” It was appreciated so that I could have their basic information on hand rather than having to call the contact back once I was able to look up their records.

It was also nice to have a quick chat with past employees. Many disappear off of the radar, and whether they left on good terms or bad, there is a comfort in knowing that they are still out there and moving forward.

I see! Thanks for the reply. Maybe I am confusing “reference” with “recommendation”?

Ah, that could very well be. A reference is different than a recommendation. Typically, a reference is contact information submitted by the applicant. A recommendation is a verbal or written notification regarding the former employer’s credentials.

As business references, I don’t think they are allowed to discuss anything except business: were you on-time, did you get things accomplished,etc. With this being said, I don’t think they will consider it a favor; it’s very common that you need a reference for a job. I typically just let the person know that I put them down as a reference and have never had someone act ill-will towards that. Good luck!

@dank1973 Thanks! I didn’t realize it was such a minor thing, but feel a lot better now having heard from you Flutherites.