Do you notice children when they exhibit good behavior?

Yes, very much so. I guess it’s because I’m so used to seeing children nowadays with such horrible manners and obnoxious behavior that when a good kid comes along, it’s like “Wow, that child’s great!” But 40 + years ago, well-behaved children were more of the norm, so it’s really nice to see good children once in awhile.

If you take time to watch a kid for more than a few minutes you’ll see both good and bad behaviors. And yes I encourage those things, I explain to most of them it’s a good thing to keep going on that track. [unless a desperate parent comes in thinking I’m gonna do something. I had some. But moist parents who came said thanks ^^ ]

Yes but I almost notice bad behaviors and also the parents letting them get away with bad behaviors

Of course I do, but I love kids.

Yes, it’s a pleasure to see a child displaying manners and being respectful. It’s so easy to overlook them, though, since they’re generally quiet in public.

I really have no choice but to notice it. When a child is picking their prizes at the game room I work in, the contrast is crazy. You sometimes have two children next to each other, with one who’s like 7 years old, saying please and thank you for every prize, and aren’t upset that the kid next to them has 1000 more tickets than they do, while the other looks to be 10, and is having a fit because they want the biggest prize we have.

It’s at these times that the parent with the awesome kid tries to avoid eye contact with the other parent, for fear that they’ll think they’re passing a judgement on them.

Yes, and I do tell them and their parents how beautifully, well behaved and polite they are.

Oh, yes. Praise them if you wish to, but do not overdo it.

How could you overdo the praise if children are behaving well? What negative could come from praising good behaviour?

Yes definately, I find children are always looking to please you especially young children. If they hear praises from adults and especially their parents they will want to repeat this behavior to make you happy.

Alot of good behavior in kids comes from how their parents act, speak to them and treat them they are like little sponges and will do as we do so if you want good and polite behavior then that is what you need to be showing them then reinforce it by praising them.

Yes, it’s quite a surprise and gives me faith in good parenting lol. Although I don’t say anything because I don’t want to talk to someone’s kid I don’t know. It’s just awkward.

Of course, for they shine like a beacon in a sea of discontent.
Wow, that was quite profound, must have my sensible head on today…....for now!

I do, and I try to say something to the child or the parent. I also appreciate it when people complement my kids, just because I can see how much it means to them. My 7 year old loves to hold doors open for people. It’s amazing to me how many people brush by without thanking him. I bet they’re on Fluther complaining about rotten kids right now! When a stranger smiles and thanks him for holding the door, he grins from ear to ear.

Yes. I have a lot of young cousins and a few of them were really bratty at some stage or other- when I see that they are developing out of the bratty stage and are polite and kind then I let them know, and have obviously the ones who were never bratty got more of my attention and praise in the first place. I was a quiet and well behaved child and so when babysitting I guess I “play” better with the like-minded little ones. I’m the cousin who will read a book, put together a puzzle, build LEGO. My sister is the one who will scream, shout, run around the house, have a pillow fight with them. I’m not saying that’s necessarily bad behaviour, but I guess at the end of the day or before nap time or when it is required I definitely am proud to see those little hands helping to put the pillows away and stuff like that, and I thank them and maybe treat them.

I especially thank them and praise them for sharing without being prompted (for example lollies or specific coloured crayons)- it’s something many children would not even consider and is one of their greatest trials when forced to, so to do so without even being asked, ugh makes my heart swell.

Yes, and I comment on it. To the kids I will say something generically nice and cheerful, to the parents (or caregivers) I will say how much I enjoyed meeting/noticing their kids. KatawaGrey and I met a couple of little girls in the Ladies at a restaurant this week (probably about 8 or 9 years old?) that were pleasant and articulate. We chatted woth them, then made a point of telling the family what a pleasure it was to interact with such nice girls. Everybody was happy. And now KatawaGrey wants to play with her American Girls dolls again!

Yes. I also notice parents who don’t let their children have all the power. I always applaud them, in my head, of course.

Absolutely. Not only notice, but if I know the parents, or wind up having a conversation with them, I comment on how wonderful they are. I also give the children positive reinforcement depending on the situation, if they are interacting directly with me.

Absolutely! I work on a checkout at a very busy (and mostly very noisy) supermarket, and when you spend day after day seeing poorly parented children:
1.screaming the place down, and or kicking their mothers (I see this often, unfortunately, usually because they want something, ie: sweets/toys etc, and have been refused) 2.running around knocking things (and the occassional person) over…. well you get the idea, I’m sure.

So, suddenly you’re faced with a very sweet child, who chats away, maybe helps mum pack (if old enough) or happily stays by Mum’s side instead of running amok causing chaos… I cannot say what joy this is. I always comment to the child, thanking them for being so clever/well behaved/pleasant and always mention to their Mum what a joy their child/children are.

Before I get yelled at (and I’m not even at work this week lol) for hating children, I don’t. Far, far from it. I hate that noise. That scream that can tear your soul out and completely destroy it, that screaming that causes actual physical pain. I swear, a bad tempered (not sick/hungry/upset) screaming child is the worst form of torture when you are unable to get up and get away from it. Now consider being forced to endure it for blocks of 8 hours at a time <shudders>. I can never understand how parents can just blend it out and seem not to even hear it, when people all around them are visably wincing in pain from it.

So, yes, I most definitely notice, appreciate, and thank and praise both the children and their parent/s. Also, re the running around crazy children knocking people/things over? had that… walk with a cane. It’s very painful, humiliating… and our store has many elderly customers, and concrete floors. I worry for them.
huggles honeys xx

I just remembered one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen- a little not quite 2 year old bubba (already walking though) who was sick and vomited a little on the tile floor of his kitchen. “Uh oh!” he goes, toddles off to get a tissue, and returns to wipe up his little mess.

Definitely. It’s always great to see. Anecdote: I was at work last week and the cutest little 12–14 year old boy was waiting for his parents. A family friend (elderly woman) happened to be there, so they sat and talked for a while. I overheard their conversation and the boy mention that he’s going to high school soon, and he’s going to “try to stay away from drugs.” What a good kid! He continued to talk to this lady, being extremely sweet. When the lady was ready to leave, she said goodbye and they hugged. She was headed for the door, and he got up and jogged to get in front of her so that he could open the door! It was the best thing I’ve witnessed from a kid his age.

Where I work, it’s something of a study in contrast to see well- and badly-behaved kids. Truthfully, most of the badly-behaved kids are actually very young children who are doing the things that 3— and 4-year-olds do the most: touch things. I do not fault the kids for this since they are rarely loud or disruptive, but I fault the goddamn parents for letting their kids run amok and also for letting them out of their sight in the mall.

I do remember this one particular incident where two young boys were in the store trying on pants and picking out items for when their moms got there. They were probably 10 and 12 and came right up to me to ask me where the pants were, if they could use the fitting room and used please and thank you the whole time. I especially gave them props because they were right at boob-height and their gaze never once wavered from my face when they spoke to me. Then, when their moms came in, I tried to tell them how nice the boys were and how wonderful it was to see obviously well-behaved children in my store. Their mothers were wholly uninterested which shocked and appalled me. I got the feeling that the kids were that well-mannered because if they weren’t, then their mothers would react and it wouldn’t be very nice. :(

Yes. I can recall a number of times that I have made a point of telling a parent how much of a credit their child is to them. I forgot to mention that I work with kids in my day job and I have to say that I think there are way more well behaved (not necessarily perfect but trying at least) kids than there are little monsters!

I’m not obsessed with propriety and manners. I notice kids when they’re genuinely having fun, being sweet to their siblings and parents, etc.

Yep. I’m so accustomed to seeing (at least in the grocery store) misbehaved, disrespectful, whiny little brats whose mothers do nothing, that when I see a well-behaved child or hear a child saying “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”, it shocks the hell out of me. I always comment to them about how well behaved and polite they are.

Yes! When I see a child who is exceptionally well behaved, or goes out of their way to be polite and/or helpful, I always compliment that child. Whenever possible I also tell the parent about the their child’s behavior.

Another anecdote: The other day, @JilltheTooth and I went to see a movie and there were a group of three or four boys hanging outside the movie theater not doing much of anything. One of them detached from the group and came up to us. I don’t know what I was expecting but I wasn’t expecting anything nice, but he came right up to us and said, “Do you want to see a cool bug?” There was a praying mantis hanging onto one of the movie posters. My mom and I came over and spent the next few minutes talking about praying mantises mantii? and the boys were very interested in what we had to say and were actually being very respectful of the bug. As we walked on, one of the boys even called out to us, “Have a nice day!”

I actually fault adults much more than children for behaving badly because kids, even older kids, are still trying to figure out social rules and strictures. When a kid breaks a social rule, it’s forgivable because s/he simply hasn’t learned how to follow it properly. In some cases, I feel as if kids try too hard to follow the rules set down by parents, society and other adults that they get all mixed up and end up over-compensating which can result in potentially rude or destructive behavior. For example, recently, my mom and I have been discussing a lot of things that I thought I wasn’t allowed to do or have as a child, simply because I had been getting some seriously conflicted signals from all of the adults in my life. I have always hated lamb but whenever my mom served it, I ate it because I had inherited the “you eat what’s put in front of you” mentality from my grandparents, specifically my grandfather. This was especially confusing for me because my grandfather never yelled at me or got angry with me, except if I refused to eat something on my plate, then he got kind of scary. This would result in my seeming rude as a child when I was forcing myself to eat something I didn’t like because I might get upset while eating, eat very little of it, then request a snack or dessert because I hadn’t filled up.

I’m not saying this is an excuse for children to behave badly, but it’s something to keep in mind when dealing with children.

Yes and I always mention it to the child and the parent(s). Gives me hope for the future.

Yes. I always say to the parent(s), “You must be very proud of your kid(s) while I grin broadly at the kid(s). i don’t gush.

Yes, and I’ll let the ‘lil dudes (and dudetts) know about it personally.. I acknowledge the parents but also the kid(s)..

Most certainly. I enjoy “catching children being good.” Being the mother of 5 adult children & 7 grandbabies I know that children love attention. If they can’t get positive attention they will settle for negative attention. I believe that when you praise them for doing what is right you encourage them to make more right decisions.

I always enjoyed hearing how well behaved my children were. It made me proud to know that they were acting upon the home training I put into them.

@KatawaGrey The story of your grandfather reminded me of my grandmother. She raised her 11 children during the Great Depression & she was the same way. I believe with her it was more a part of the times she lived through than anything else. Money was hard to come by & families prided themselves with the little things. Did your Grandpa live through that same time period?

Of course I notice. It is so rare that a kid will hold a door for anyone instead of charging through in front of you, it stands right out. I will always say thank you and say you have very nice manners. But nothing more than that. It is ordinary, polite behavior, not rocket science. It used to be the norm not the exception and that is pretty sad.

@A2J: No, it was never anything like that. I think he was just raised that way. It was just so surreal for me because he never raised his voice but if I didn’t want to eat what was put in front of me, Hurricane Grandpa would blow through. My mom says he was the same way when she was growing up. I guess it was just his button.

This is also the same man that insisted babies have ice cream. Damn, I miss my Dad!

@KatawaGrey Thanx for responding. I’ve always had a curiosity about what motivates people to respond in certain ways. Your grandfather reminded me so much of my grandmother I wondered if they grew up during the same time period or were raising a family during those difficult times.

Yes, I notice these children & it’s in a positive way; which makes me smile after seeing a kid being a total jack. lol