Can you share an incident of racism, antisemitism or any kind of bigotry that you have encountered?

I have a friend who is wary around all black men because of an uncomfortable incident she had on a bus when she was in high school. When she told me this, I was speechless. Basically, she was riding home from school on the bus and she had a skirt on. The guy put his hand on her thigh and squeezed her thigh the whole ride until she got off the bus. Yeah, that was scary as all hell and I would’ve been terrified too, but it just doesn’t make any sense to me that she would be afraid of all black men because of this.

I really wanted to ask her why she wasn’t afraid of men now, or riding on buses by herself, or wearing a skirt, but I didn’t want to get into it.

I get plenty from my mom’s and dad’s sides of the family for being a dirty halfbreed.

@KatawaGrey wow poor girl… but yea it doesn’t make sense that she distrusts black people. This is where a lot of racism comes from. A lot of people will blame a person’s shortcoming or character flaw on their being a certain race/religion.

I was at a house party and was asked to leave by one of the guys that lived there because he didn’t like blacks or mexicans. People were trying to talk him out of it, but he was already drunk. He said, “I don’t care who he is, but I’ll kill em” while I was standing right there. Needless to say, I left and my friends came with me too, and I got a thousand apologies from people at school after that. I think that one guy was just raised by the wrong people, or maybe some minority “stole” his job lol.

I was friends with one kid whose parents didn’t want me in their house, so I had to wait outside when he would go in to get something. He said his dad was patently racist. When his dad came home from work one day and saw his son watching basketball, his response was “Turn that nigger ball off”. Lol!

@King_Pariah Oh yeah, that whole “you’re a traitor because two people had sex” debate lol.

@Blackberry ouch…

Endured 3–½ years of being called a Nazi in High School with a 90%+ Jewish student body. The worst though was a camping trip to Southern Illinois where I was asked to leave a restaurant in this little town who said they don’t serve hippie Yankees down here! I then noticed the hatred in the eyes of all the staff and patrons. HS!

I’m called honky and cracker on a consistent basis by the people who call in for tech support.

I’m not even sure what that means, honestly.

@Cruiser Lol! Hippie yankee…...What were you wearing?

@RocketSquid People actually say that? That was a joke we used in high school…..

@RocketSquid I always though cracker was a term supposed to insult white people… not sure.

At the place where I used to work, one of my “friends” was a young gay man. He was single and lots of attractive gay and straight men would come in to where we worked. So one day, about 3 or 4 really attractive fellows came in during various times of the day and I went to fetch my friend to get a glimpse and he was so happy that I was trying to help him meet a guy. Anyway, later in the day, a gorgeous African American man came in, so I went in the back to get my “friend” to come out an have a look. He got a horrified look on his face and dragged me into the back and said, “I can’t go out with him! He’s a colored man!”

I was floored. Here was this openly gay, extremely flaming young guy, who’d had lots of nasty comments directed at him, telling me that this attractive man was “below him” or “un-acceptable” simply because he was an African American and he was white.

A few of the other employees witnessed this whole scenario and a little bit later on, most of them reminded our “friend” that the term “colored” is really not cool to use anymore and they asked him why he wouldn’t consider dating an African American man, especially a really attractive one like the fellow who came in. He replied, “In Texas, whites don’t date coloreds!” This guy was in his early 20’s so it was really shocking for me to hear someone that young, who should be more enlightened and hip and understanding, sound like an old, grumpy Klansman.

We kept cringing everytime he used the word “colored” and told him that he shouldn’t use that word, at least not in California, because it’s considered derogatory. He said, “In Texas everybody calls black people colored. They are colored.” I wanted to melt into the cabinetry and disappear. Needless to say, we stopped being friends on that day. He got into a screaming match with one of the other guys that worked there, who was trying to explain to him that racism is really ugly, certain racial terms are outdated, and that we’d all thought he would be more understanding, because he had been the target of homophobia.

@Blackberry Jeans and a tank top and my hair wasn’t all that long either! WTH! I guess because I didn’t have a farmers tan was the give-a-way I was not from these there parts!

When my kids were little, they were outside playing with the neighbor kids. My daughter came in crying, “They called me a Honky!!, What’s a Honky Mommy?”
I told her that that is a name that some people use to refer to white people.
My daughter, who has an olive complexion, pinched her arm and cried, “I’m not white! I’m brown!”

@Cruiser Oh yeah, that yuppie, white collar tan gave it away lol!

@Kardamom Lol! Anyone who still says colored is way past persuasion.

Over the years, I’ve heard quite a few racist remarks from black people that shocked me, because they wouldn’t think twice before slapping or calling a white person out for making similar remarks. A few black boys that I knew in high school called me “the big-titty cracker”. Apparently, I had “black titties” on a cracker body and they found it amusing.

@Kardamom Your gay friend was dumb then, if you don’t mind my being honest. Nobody I know in Texas calls black people “colored”.

There are only two that stand out. A relative by marriage wrote a letter to the editor of The Washington Post newspaper that was published. The letter was about how the Holocaust never happened. In hindsight, it shouldn’t have been so shocking. His father is just as controversial, as well as racist, as well as his brother (my BIL). Unfortunately, their constant rantings seems to have influenced one of my nephews.

The other is humorous on the surface, but still sad when thinking about the underlying cause for a person to say such a thing. It took place when I was working in a hotel, and there was a sudden ice storm. Most of the area lost power, including the hotel.

When we finally got power back, the switchboard lit up like holiday lights. Many people were calling in and asking to rent a room. I told them that we wouldn’t know if there was any availability until we sorted out our status. Many people were not leaving due to cancelled flights, and I suggested that they call back later. One caller said, “Well, that is just discrimination.” It caught me completely off-guard. “Pardon me?” She said, “That is geographical discrimination. The people who live closer to the hotel will get a room before I can.”

@Kardamom It is very frustrating arguing with racist people and trying to make them see sense. How can you explain in simpler terms that different colour doesn’t make a person bad!! That’s why I have always gotten upset whenever someone is racist towards me. I am always ready for a confrontation but racism just leaves me hurt like some 10 year old child.

Directly and indirectly. I have been called a Nazi (because I was wearing a Germany t-shirt the ‘06 World Cup – my mum is part German, though I don’t know whether they actually new that.) I have also been called a traitor because my father is Mexican (and my last name reflects that) but I don’t identify with the culture. I live in a predominantly Hispanic neighborhood and the kids were very invested in their culture.

Indirectly, my mum’s aunt told her she wasn’t going to have “pretty” children because she married a Mexican man. She cut off contact with most of her relatives as a result. Also, a man at the bus stop told me that he could tell I wasn’t “fully” Mexican and it was a good thing I took after my “Mexican” roots so I wouldn’t look like a white kid.

Fun stuff. It could have been a lot worse. I’m thankful it wasn’t.

One funny one I was caught up in was on cinco de mayo when I almost got jumped for not ditching school to celebrate by several Mexicans in the high school locker room. I don’t have an ounce of Hispanic blood in me.

Geographical discrimination, lol

@Cruiser me too, I shit you not. It got so bad at one point that people were drawing swastikas on the desks with my name under it. I have never been racist or antisemitic, but that rumor spread like wildfire.

@muppetish….I’m fully Mexican-American (by birth, though no longer live in the USA) and I’m stunning…lol. I’m also better educated and more well-read than most of the people who insist on perpetrating outdated ridiculous stereotypes of Mexicans. And I’m also blond and blue-eyed..so figure that one out. I also got discriminated against by both cultures…“You don’t look Mexican” from one and the other one was “You don’t look at all like one of us, are you sure?” Same thing, both sides. <sigh>

Salma Hayek, Eva Longoria, Eva Mendes….are not exactly wallflowers. Neither are most of the amazingly beautiful women I grew up with. I hope there is some day (as I’ve said before) that we don’t even have to think about issues like this.

Hold your head up high, sweetheart, you are in very good company.

PS And if it sounded like I was being egotistical…I apologize….but a lot of Mexican-Americans/Latinos (like @muppetish) often feel disenfranchised and it’s important to emphasize that beauty…isn’t relegated to the conformists, the people who fit in all of society’s “little boxes”...real beauty is from within….and that doesn’t belong to any one culture, one race or one sexual orientation. Beauty is intrinsic in all of us, everywhere, if we just get out of our own way and also learn to see it in each other.

@DarlingRhadamanthus Why have us figure it out when there’s picccssssss!

@sarahhhhh I won’t name anyone here but just take a look how people reply if I or another Christian around would express your beliefs. You’ll see just how rude/racist/etc people can be even with all the freedom of speech and freedom of religion :)

Something that drives me absolutely crazy is when one of my gay male friends calls me a “breeder.” It drives me up and a wall and I have no proper way to respond.

@Hibernate: Too true. I would also point out that a few Christians on here not all, not even the majority by a long shot have not been too happy with me when I tell them I believe in God but am not Christian. One user even told me that it “was a start” which, quite frankly, offended the hell out of me. I do agree, however, that many atheists on here think it’s perfectly fine to not only call theists wrong, but to do it in an incredibly derogatory and nasty fashion.

That person who told you “it’s a start” needs to revise his/her beliefs lol.

My grandparents can be quite racist in the way they refer to people of a different race. For example, my grandad (who has very dark olive skin) calls black people “darkies” which is ironic seeing as he is the darkest person in our family! He has never been rude or racist to a black person and is, in general, a kind hearted decent guy but I have given up trying to tell him that “darkie” is not acceptable.

Someone spoke of a fire being caused by “Jewish lightning” in my presence and in England I first heard the term “jew someone down.”

@KatawaGrey He calls you that casually? Usually the term “breeder” is used as a counter to being called a “faggot”.

To be honest, I haven’t encountered much bigotry in real life. Being a blond-haired blue-eyed white boy, racism is probably not going to be directed at me. Most of the bigotry I’ve experienced has been online where I’ve been called a “faggot” numerous times. I’ve never been called that in real life other than as a joke. I really don’t like the word, even as a joke, and so I tell people I’d rather they didn’t use it.

Racism that I’ve encountered has mostly been a knee-jerk reaction, the way people often resort to hateful generalizations when angry. I remember a friend of mine had something stolen from her car and immediately made a derogatory statement about Mexicans. Other than that, things like the time last year when there was a party near my house that I lived in with my roommates where almost everyone was black or Hispanic and my roommates talked about locking the windows and doors and everything…

I have not come across any serious offensive bigotry outside of the internet. I don’t know any white supremacists or anti-Semites or serious homophobes. I’m lucky, but I know that it’s all around.

@janbb I had a friend who used the term “Jew out” to refer to backing out of a promise. He was Jewish, though…I’m not even sure where it comes from.

@janbb ; My dad used that phrase all the time and I was an adult before I knew it had anything to do with any-one’s race. I thought it was spelt gew. You don’t know how embarrassed I was when I realized what it was referring to!

@Leanne1986 That’s the same thing with my Uncle, who just turned 90 2 weeks ago. He came and stayed with us for a long weekend, and he and my Dad (neither of whom is racist, nor would they ever purposely hurt anyone) talked about some Negro and colored people that they used to work with.

Those were considered acceptable terms back in the day. Both Dad and Uncle suffer from some memory loss and they don’t follow current social trends, so they use those terms (and it makes me cringe) but they mean absolutely no harm by it. It would be really weird and uncomfortable for them to use the terms black or African American simply because those are not the terms they’re familiar with. And once your memory starts to decline, learning new words and terms, which are more socially acceptable, just isn’t part of the scheme of things. Not any more than trying to tell my Dad that he’s seen a particular episode of “Pickers” 3 or 4 times and that he has indeed tasted tiramisu or that our neighbor got a new cat 3 years ago.

@DominicX: I have a few who have called me that, usually when I talked about or kissed my boyfriend. It was always very light-hearted and meant to be funny, but it still pisses me off. I’ve also had several gay male friends tell me that “hetero sex is disgusting” casually.

@Kardamom I just dread that moment that I’m with my Grandad when he uses his terms to a black person without meaning to be offensive. It’s never happened yet that I know of but that will be a “ground please open up and swallow me” moment!

@KatawaGrey I’ve met gay guys who do believe that, but I’ve also met plenty of straight people who think gay sex is disgusting. Part of me can’t help but think that gay guys don’t really think hetero sex is disgusting, and that it’s just a response to so many people thinking gay sex is disgusting.

When I was in middle school – and high school as well, but not as much – I’d constantly have people I didn’t know yelling nasty things at me about being white. I don’t remember anything specific because I tended to just ignore it. Some kid followed me and one of my white friends once after school and was throwing little rocks at us and kept making prejudice remarks.
Also at lunch, people used to throw food at us on occasion, and once someone threw a backpack over a balcony in a hall that hit me right on the head. Not sure if the last two were because of our colour or just because kids are assholes though, so I don’t count that.
Oh and complete strangers think it’s really cool to make comments on how pale I am, but I wouldn’t count that as racial prejudice so much as shallow “if you’re white you must be tan” idiocy.

Something I observed rather recently though: my aunt and I met her friend from Texas in Ohio last year, and the Texan friend was trying to find a hotel to stay at. An Indian man ran one that she was thinking about staying at, but she dismissed that one immediately telling us that she “didn’t want to give her money to those people.” I wanted to puke.

People used to call me and my best friend lesbians all the time. We got used to it pretty quick and would make jokes about it. We have a pretty large group of female friends that go to events together (we’re totally nerd bombers, so I’m talking Beatles conventions, NCIS fan meetings, Harry Potter gatherings etc.) So within this group, there is me and my best friend (2 straight girls) two sisters who are slightly overweight (also straight) two lesbian girls, also slightly overweight and 2 girls, also best friends that look kind of similar.

So when my SO finds out that we’re planning to go to one of these events, he will often jokingly ask, “So who’s driving, the 2 chubby lesbians or the 2 chubby sisters?” Then I might say, “No it’s the 2 girls that look alike who are dating the Ringo lookalike and the John Lennon lookalike.” Then he will ask, “Why would the 2 lesbian girls be interested in going to see guys dressed up like The Beatles?” Then I’ll say, “Have you seen these guys? Even lesbians think they’re cute.” Then he just shakes his head and says, “Have fun.”

We always do!

Neighbor of mine complaining about the blacks and Mexicans in Walmart within 5 minutes of meeting me. She added, “well, the Mexicans are not that bad.” she must have been mortified whe she found out my husband is Mexican. I get a little bit of a kick out of it.

Every person in the Memphis metro area who calls Memphis “Memfrica.”

Last week talking about politics and gay marriage one man I was talking to, an acquaintance, saw the logic in my argument for why it is a civil liberties question, but in the end he just said, “but I just don’t want them to be able to get married.” I have a secret hope, because he is a lawyer and a smart man, that he will spend some more time pondering my arguments on the topic.

Swastikas drawn on dorm doors when I was in college.

Someone commenting how nice people are at my school when I said hello, saying they aren’t a bunch of Jews like at the school she goes to. I had to tell the girl I was Jewish. Not to embarrass her, but to teach her something.

The Mayor one town up posting on Facebook during the Obama McCain run that we should still have the rule that only land owners can vote.

The beach at Gulf Shores, Alabama where the bathers are as white as the sands despite 25% of the population of Alabama being coloured.

@flutherother Why is that racist?

@flutherother I can only see that as being racist if there is some rule written or unwritten that states whites only.

If it ‘s not racist what is it? It isn’t written that coloureds are not allowed but it might as well be. It felt like racism to me.

@JLeslie…I am also Jewish…so I have also had to combat anti-semitism (including the above). My ancestors were burned at the stake during the Inquisition in Mexico. Anti-semitism is getting extremely prevalent in Europe once again. And that is a bit unnerving.

And by the way, “stunning” in my previous posting.. was delivered very “tongue-in-cheek”. Can’t believe I had to qualify that but postings without voice inflection or laughter get a bit difficult at times, eh?

@flutherother Huh? Care to elaborate?

@DarlingRhadamanthus I don’t feel so much like I have combat antisemitism, I feel like there is so much stupidity and ignorance. I think it is rare that anyone I directly deal with really wants to hurt Jews. Thank goodness. Of course I think there are real anti-semites out there who are scary. I don’t think the girl at the university was antisemitic, I think she had a stereotype in her head. Probably the kids who drew the swastikas think it’s funny, because they don’t understand the fear it can evoke. That’s how I look at those instances in the end. But, they unwittingly add to the dialogue of antisemetism for sure.

@flutherother It’s black people choosing, or not feeling comfortable going to the beach. That is there problem. The white people are not forbidding them to go. There is actually a stereotype that black people don’t know how, or don’t like to swim. Not that they are born that way of course, just that it is not one of their activities. One of my close girlfriend’s who is black certainly does not fit into the stereotype, she loves the beach, but I do know a lot of black people who don’t swim.

@JLeslie two of my closest friends who are black were the ones who actually told me about this stereotype. Then they also both admitted to hating the water and swimming. HAHAH it was so cute.

@JLeslie I was struck by how divided Alabama is along racial lines. There are white areas and there are black areas and not much mixing. That’s just the way it is. It felt racist to me and I wasn’t comfortable with it. If black people don’t have access to the sea or in many cases to public or private pools then it is hardly surprising they never learn to swim.

@flutherother I completely agree it is very divided in the southern US between black and white. It is mostly to do with social class. But, a public beach is open to everyone. The only thing stopping the black people is themselves. I just think they don’t care about going. Maybe they don’t want to be on the “white beach?” I guess it is possible? Again, that is the black people’s problem, probably no one is stopping them.

@JLeslie There are no laws enforcing segregation in Alabama but it remains the reality. The last time I walked along the beach at Gulf Shores I saw among the multitudes of whites one black family, a father and a mother with two young children playing in the sand. They were the exception that proves the rule. I could sense the tension in the air, I did not imagine it. It is not just laws that have to change it is attitudes as well.

@flutherother I don’t think you were imagining anything. I live in the mid south, and for sure it still feels rather divided, and there are negative attitudes still out there. But, just imagine if 30 black families showed up at the beach. The black people can completely ignore the white people who might be thinking, “WTH is going on?” and, begin to make it their beach too. People will get used it. The white people only care the black people aren’t disruptive to others and don’t leave trash behind. Yes, I know that sounds racist, at the least prejudiced, but I am just saying that if the black people behave well, which I fully expect they would, there will be no problem, people will get used to the beach having more diversity populating it.