It also helps when people that we already like “come out” in the media. I think there was a big shift in attitude when Ellen DeGeneres came out. Although they immediately cancelled her sitcom, most people like Ellen and can relate to her self-effacing gentle humor and traditional mid-western, middle America way about her. Women (and men) seem to love her on her talk show and most people are not disgusted by sweet ol’ Ellen.
And then when we found out that some of the nifty people that we loved as children (or our parents appreciated back in the day) like Paul Lynde (Uncle Arthur from Bewitched) and Robert Reed (the beloved father on The Brady Bunch) and Rock Hudson, who was a big handsome movie star that everyone adored, turned out to be gay, a lot of us decided that being gay wasn’t as awful as we had once thought. Being gay kind of looked pretty normal, or at least the gayness itself didn’t seem to make otherwise likeable people suddenly seem hideous and scary.
Then it helped some more, when they started to feature really likeable gay characters on TV such as Sean Hayes who played Jack McFarland (aka Just Jack) on Will and Grace, and Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who plays Michael Pritchett on Modern Family, and Chris Colfer, who plays Curt Hummell on Glee. And it didn’t hurt that some straight actors took on gay roles and nobody freaked out or burst into flames (no pun intended), such as Eric McCormack who played Will Truman on Will and Grace, and Eric Stonestreet who plays Cameron Tucker on Modern family, and both Heath Ledger and Jack Gyllenhaal in the movie Brokeback Mountain.
There are still plenty of people who actually know and interact with gay people on a regular basic, but they simply don’t know it. Those people still tend to have very negative reactions toward gayness and gay issues and gay people because they simply have no idea or notion of what real gay people are like, which is often pretty much the same way that most straight people are (which runs the gamut from the good the bad and the ugly).
There are some people that will never let go of the gay fear and loathing. I was just looking at some postings on a website that is all about Fran Drescher’s new TV show, called Happily Divorced, in which Fran plays a woman who has recently found out that her husband of 18 years is gay. They get divorced, and still love each other deeply and they have to live in the same house (although hubby is now living in the den) due to economic reasons. It’s a really cute, funny show. Anyway, some of the people on the message boards have said things like, “I used to love Fran Drescher, but I won’t watch her new show, because it promotes the gay lifestyle, which I think is despicable and goes against God’s plans.” What these people don’t know is that Fran’s real life husband of 18 years, Peter Marc Jacobson, was the Producer of The Nanny for the entire run of the show, and he was gay the entire time, and he finally came out to Fran after that show went off the air, and they got divorced. So the new show is based upon their real lives. They remained friends, and now Peter Marc Jacobson is also producing this new show. But the irony is lost on a small minority of fans who “can’t believe that Fran would be part of anything like this!” I don’t think they know the history of how the show came about. But most of the message boards are lit up with praise for showing this loving, but divorced, half gay/half straight couple working it out and being happy.