Does it take you awhile to warm up to people (socially)

I can talk with anyone as long as they’re friendly. It takes me a lot longer to get to genuine affection. My girl is a lot like you. She’s quiet with anyone she doesn’t know well. It alwasy drives her nuts how I can talk with strangers.

I used to be different, but now it does take me awhile.

It depends on the people. Every once in a while, you meet someone you hit it off with right away. Most people it takes me a while.

I can relate to that.

Same.
Most of the times it takes some time to be totally comfortable.
But every now and then a new meet goes fluently and I feel mighty fine.

I’m not very talkative in general, but I can certainly make “small talk” for a bit in a social situation, though I’m never completely comfortable doing so.

I’m in awe of those who have that special talent for easy conversation with anyone. I’ve tried to mimic their techniques, but any attempt at following suit seems very contrived coming out of my mouth. Interestingly, if I encounter someone who seems less comfortable with the small talk than I am, I relax a little around this and rather take the lead.

You’re not a freak at all, Jude!

Being a shy person by nature, it does take me a lot longer than most to warm up to people and even longer to build trust with them. Once I get to know them, I’m much more outgoing and comfortable being myself around them.

I was only able to do this around certain people when I was at school. People I knew to be nonjudgmental and genuinely nice individuals. I value people’s personality 1000x more than their looks or social standing. But I guess most people are like that anyway. You’re not alone. :)

I generally like people and warm up to them quickly. I also have a hard time believing what gossips say so it takes quite a bit for me to cool off from a relationship.

If you treat people like you expect to be treated, they are less likely to disappoint you.

@picante “I’ve tried to mimic their techniques, but any attempt at following suit seems very contrived coming out of my mouth”

Haha, me too. I’ve just learned to accept I’m not that kind of person, just hope it doesn’t come off as rude to others.

I’m practically socially handicapped so that happens to me often. Sometimes I can never warm up to someone. It’s rough because first impressions are usually a big deal and I tend to come across as snobby or a jerk when really, I was just outside of my close circle and really uncomfortable.

In social situations, I do a lot of listening before I start talking. Some people are easier to feel comfortable with than others. With people who seem to talk nonstop, I just keep quiet. I’m not going to fight to get the floor.
On the other hand, I talk to strangers quite easily and enjoy it. I think it’s the “I’ll probably never see you again so I can say what I want” situation and I approach it as human beings sharing a moment in the space we all inhabit. I usually get a positive response, but if I don’t, I just smile and drop it.

If I realize it is going to be a one time occasion in advance, I think it is good to be friendly but pretty superficial. Just strangers passing a warm few words. But if it is the first occasion of many more to follow, i.e. a new work mate or someone you that is going to be on your social roster for various reasons, then the slow build is a good thing. One error we all can easily make is to imagine people a certain way based on someone they remind us of or the way they seem to be. Also, at times I do get “intimidated” by people based on this same criteria. Then there isn’t much reaching out to them more tip toeing.

No dear friend, you are not a freak. Many people are the same way that you are when it comes to warming up to a person. Of this group, some are more comfortable in adapting to the chit-chat when the situation calls for it.

This is where The Golden Rule needs to be put on hold and The Platinum Rule should be hauled out. The latter is: Do Unto Others as They Want Done Unto Them. For example, while in a waiting room, I’m perfectly content to while away the time reading a book. If someone else is there and attempting to strike up a conversation, I’ll switch gears and chat. In these situations, I’ll engage in the talk, but I’m not going to exchange phone numbers with them.

The SO is more like you, as are many others. There is nothing wrong with it. It’s just one more type of personality that we should all respect and treat them as they want to be treated. And it works the other way as well.

Yes, it does take me awhile. And when I finally warm up to that person I can talk non-stop and even open up! You are not a freak! :)

Definitely. Some of my really good friends are people that I took a fair amount of time to warm to but now I have all the time in the world for them. I find it really annoying if someone is in my face and overly confident on our first meeting. I need time and peace to work out if I feel comfortable around a person.

Nope! I’m pretty friendly ;)

<—- Not a quiet, shy guy.

also a non-repentant attention whore

No way. I can start talking and keep the audience for a while. I make them interact without even noticing they start it :)

But mostly I stand and look at those around me. I study them and I pay a lot of attention to little details. How they dressed up, how they talk, how they gesticulate, how the move, how they interact with the others etc etc. I find a lot of details about them this way. I do not like to talk with everybody since most won’t understand how socializing really works. And I hate it when I find someone to whom I need to keep explaining myself. It bugs me out and kills the mood for chat.

I used to be like that, but these days I happily chat away to anybody.

I’m a friendly person so I’ll happily chat away to most people. I don’t find it difficult to chit chat. In terms of friendships/relationships, it’s usually a warming up process but that’s true of most relationships I guess.

Yes, face to face I’m slow to spark up. I like to watch and listen a bit first.

It really depends on the person. Sometimes I take a shine to someone and will like them immediately and be very talkative. Other times I just don’t like a person, for no good reason, and then things become monosyllabic and monotone. Those people tend to like me even less than I like them.

Nope. I say hi to everyone. A lot of times I’ll randomly sit down with people, introduce myself, and derp around with them. I’ve made a ton of friends that way.

I’m pretty much always outgoing and talkative from the get go, but in certain cases, usually involving adults, I get a little shier/quieter.

I never make the first move, or if I do it’s extremely rare, and usually because action needs to be taken for something important. People always have to make the first move with me, and several times, I still don’t respond much, and they have to keep at it. Some do, some don’t. I will warm up eventually, but it can take a long time.
I really don’t know why I’m like this, and sometimes it pisses me off. I am solitary and don’t hang out with people much, but I’m not a hermit either. People usually get put off by this, understandably, and it makes me feel like shit lol.
I got problems with shyness though, and it was way worse when I was younger. Having had mostly all public oriented jobs since my late teens has really helped me to improve on this, but some yet remains.

All this isn’t a non trust thing, or some emo goth shit though. In fact, I trust people way too easily, at least ones I know. So I denno what it is, it’s like a natural thing that keeps happening, no matter how many times I decide it won’t. I’m all like, kay today I’ll just talk to people and be all friendly, but then the same old shit just keeps happening lol.

It really depends on whether the other person has an open or closed persona. If I sense a person’s closed, I don’t even try.

If I meet someone while doing something with them, like if we happened to be put into a teamwork situation together, I warm up right away. If there’s no reason to talk to someone, or if we’re in superficial social settings, it takes me longer.

Depends on the person, and environment. I’m slow to warm up in a work situation that I’m not familiar with. On the other hand, I became fast friends with my seatmate in German class on Day 1, and that was waaaay back in 2004.

It depends on the person. I usually start off pretty quiet, because most of the things I like to talk about are very interest-specific.
If I’m not sure if someone likes Doctor Who and the context of our meeting doesn’t lend itself to asking, what else am I supposed to talk about? “Do you like the internet?” “Have any cats at home?” I have no hobbies!!!