Have you ever known a person that everyone seems to think is attractive, but you don't, without negative emotional influence?

I’ve had that and the opposite. I think that maybe what I think is attractive is just really strange, because sometimes I think people are crazy attractive when everyone else thinks differently. And the guys that all my friends go crazy for? Usually I feel that they are alright looking, but nothing to gawk over.

Beauty is only skin deep and I found rarely is reflective a persons true soul. Pretty people can be ugly inside and visa versa or any where in between. A persons actions is where true beauty come from!

Just some random friends of friends everyone thought was beautiful. But I think with some “pretty people”, they’re seeing a checklist instead of a person. It has already been difficult for me to follow the norm because I was never into it. I used to think I was weird, but not anymore. The more you experience and see things, you realize that group of people that everyone loves by default is really just a small group of people, not any different than another group of people that think a different type of person is the greatest.

I was people watching at a club once with a lady friend, and I saw a really attractive man: Tall, dark wavy, flowy short hair, broad shoulders and big wide manly chest sticking out, masculine jaw and clean face (am I going to far…lol?). Anyway…...She said she didn’t find him attractive and I was shocked, because he was a typical poster boy. He looked like he came out of a Abercrombie ad and she said he was OK. I love when people surprise me by not following a typical set of guidelines.

@Cruiser of course. That’s why our emotions have such a strong influence on how attractive we find a person. It’s really difficult to find someone attractive if you loathe their very existence. I’m talking about a level of perception based solely on personal preference, just based on the physical.

@ANef_is_Enuf So am I and some of the most beautiful people I have met are actually reluctant to play the part so many expect them to be.

When I was a kid maybe.
I did have a friend that was very attractive but it wasn’t because of his looks.He was not handsome but his personality was outstanding.He was one of the most charming men I have ever known and he had women bugging after him all the time.RIP Dave :)

How about the opposite? I know a guy that kind of looks elfish, kind of a small guy, that I would never be attracted to or find attractive. But once I got to know him, he is the most beautiful person I know. He is the only guy I know that I truly love as a friend.

@Blackberry Did you get that guys number?

@FutureMemory No…... >.>

@chyna that isn’t necessarily the opposite. I definitely agree that our emotional involvement influences how attractive we find a person.
I’m just talking about strictly physical, gut reaction. Someone that makes you go “not really my thing,” but everyone else is climbing over one another to get a better look.

I feel like maybe I didn’t word this question in a way that accurately explains what I’m asking. And I know damn well I’m not the only human being on the planet to ever find another person unattractive, all good-intentions aside, we all know that some people just don’t do it for us.

@ANef_is_Enuf I understand. Brad Pitt does nothing for me, yet millions of women find him very attractive.

@chyna exactly.

The year before graduation from high school, a new guy moved into town. The rest of us had all pretty much grown up together through braces and pimples and all that goes along with puberty. Most of the females swooned whenever he passed them in the hallways. He just never generated a physical attraction for me like it did for the female classmates. Maybe because he was pretty in my book. Or maybe it was because it took a long time for us to get to know him for who he was. All I recall is that the girls were vying for his attention, and I didn’t feel the same way.

Suzanne Sommers has never, ever been attractive to me. It drove me nuts when people talked about how hot she was. She isn’t a sex symbol. She’s scuzzy.

I think you are not giving your subconscious enough credit. I’m not really sure that once a certain age is reached we are capable of looking at anything without being influenced by cultural esthetics, semiotics, past experiences and so on. You could be reacting to something and not even be aware of it.

Having said that, I read once that most babies tend to look longer and more often at people with symmetrical faces, no matter the culture. Just like everything, there will be a very small percentage of people who do not fit the norm. Maybe you are one of those people.

@tinyfaery like what? I’m not sure that I understand exactly what you’re getting at.

I don’t think anyone can simply judge someone based on physical characteristics alone. The human mind makes connections everywhere, connections you might not consciously experience or even understand. Maybe the girl you are referring to wore something the first day you met her that turned you off, or maybe it was something else. You might never know. Humans think inside of ideologies, cultural signs and symbols, even within a language. I don’t believe we are capable of seeing anything simply as it is. I guess I’m saying what you and all of us see, beautiful or not, is never simply based on what our eyes take in.

@tinyfaery have you ever cared about a person, but not found them physically attractive?

Of course.

@tinyfaery okay, that is what I’m talking about. Attraction isn’t exactly a steady thing, or an exact science… lots of factors influence how attractive we perceive someone to be. Including our emotional connection to them, cultural influences, media, there are tons of reasons. But, overall, we all have some people that we find beautiful, and some people that we just don’t find beautiful.

My question is… have you ever cared about a person, and not found them physically attractive – yet many or most people seem to feel that they are attractive? And how do you feel about that?
It’s easy to see this phenomenon with celebrities, because there really isn’t an emotional attachment there. If I think Brad Pitt is ugly, who cares? Sure, plenty of people are swooning over him.. but he’s just not my cup of tea. It really doesn’t matter, because Brad Pitt has zero significance in my life.

However, when I see people falling over one another to get a better look at my good friend, and in my mind.. I don’t find her physically attractive in any way, I find that I feel conflicted. As if I am somehow betraying her by not thinking she is beautiful, even though that is how I have always perceived her appearance. If she were a celebrity, it wouldn’t be significant at all to say “yeah, I like her acting.. but I don’t find her to be very pretty.” When it is a loved one, it feels wrong. To me. I was trying to see if other people felt the same conflict, but I don’t feel like anyone understood the question.

This definitely happens to me. Usually it has to do with make-up, hair, nice body, and nice clothing. The other people seem bamboozled in my opinion by these things, instead of really looking at the structure of their face. When I think ugly and pretty I am thinking face, without knowing the person, just an objective look at features. Well, no matter what I guess it is subjective.

Once you get to know someone everything can change, because we can find beauty in very specific features, instead of an overall impression of how the person presents at first glance.

As far as actors, a perfect example is Beverly Mitchell I don’t think she is pretty at all, and my husband and and I both found it ridiculous that on the show Seventh Heaven she was supposed to be a pretty teenage girl sought heavily by boys and supposedly as hot as her older sister, and later married to a super beautiful guy.

I get the impression that a lot of guys used to go gaga over Heather Locklear, but I never found her to be that attractive.

Despite the above, I actually think that she’s a decent comedic actress.

Yeah. One example is Owen Wilson. I just can’t get passed that fucked up dink of a nose he has. Why dammit with all the money he must have can he not do something about it. If I had a snoot like his I would have to shave my ass and walk backwards.

Friendship doesn’t require you to think a person is attractive. There is no reason to feel guilty about it. I never understand why people think I’m attractive. I don’t feel guilty for disagreeing.

I was really surprised when a friend was telling me how absolutely beautiful a student of hers was. I had always felt sorry for the girl because she was so unattractive. Fortunately, not everyone sees beauty in a same way. Or “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is very, very true. You just have to find the right beholder.

This Q made me realize that I can’t separate physical looks from emotion. I tried to come up with a few examples of attractive people where I “just didn’t get it,” but every time the emotional associations were the reason.

No, the people who appear beautiful to me are the people most people find beautiful but these are not the people I am most attracted to. I find that very beautiful people are also cold and artificial somehow.

Yes, Sean Connery. My women friends of all ages have swooned over him. I’ve enjoyed some of his movies, but I’ve never been physically attracted to him.

@athenasgriffin Same here. I always end up being attracted to unconventional guys that other girls don’t really go for. But hey, their loss, our gain, right? :)

Some people I guess are a so called acquired taste. It depends on what is so attractive about them. Maybe its just because they have a very cool or interesting personality.