Are you ever invited to participate in soft racism?

I’m not even sure that I understand the question, can you give an example?

I don’t find the post sensitive. I don’t care what others expect me to agree to. I have no problem saying “shame on you.” Yes, it has happened.

@ANef_is_Enuf like, another white middle class man will nod at a woman who has made an error and say “fucking women, huh?” like his expectation is I think women are stupid.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought oh. I don’t know that I would consider that “soft,” which might be why I didn’t understand at first.
Very much like @perspicacious, I don’t hesitate to speak up. If someone says something to me, even with a smile, that I perceive as bigotry… I’m going to tell them that I don’t appreciate it.

It’s a small circle of friends thing. The only problem is when you don’t know if they’re joking. I would like to think we’ve all made some tasteless jokes every now and then. I have with my friends, although not so much anymore because we eventually grow up lol. But the whole point of it is shock humor. But if you’re talking about people being serious, then I have not done that.

Jim Beam and coke ftw

@Blackberry i drink a diet soda between every shot

If I understand, I know exactly what you’re talking about and yes, it has happened to me. There was a time when It was traveling a lot that it happened so often that it started to really creep me out and make me paranoid. I’d be on train or a plane or a bus and a couple minutes into the trip, really out the blue, my seat my white seat mate, would make some veiled racist comment, not exactly an icebreaker I don’t think, as though I was supposed to agree with them. Like I said, it actually started making me kind of paranoid, like is this how they recruit people into secret, white supremacist cults? They send their creepy envoys out into the world and strike up conversations with white people travellng alone, and if they encounter a like minded individual the invite them over to dinner and put drugs in their food? No, of course I didn’t really think that but it kind of felt that way. When I lived in San Francisco there were a lot of Moonies there so maybe I was a little sensitive. But it was creepy. I’ve had co-workers do kind of the same thing.

Only jokingly. Taking racial potshots at everybody is a good time, if you discriminate every race equally and not believe a word you say, you’re fine.

I worked with a lady who was like that. I use to find it funny being that I am hispanic.She would even make remarks sometimes about hispanics, calling us “those people”. Usually I would look at her and seriously and she would realize what she was saying and say I was different. I would gladly point out to her things that white people who she thought were cool, had done to her.
Another fun thing to always do, is ask them straight out are you a racist or say I wasn’t aware that you are a racist. I say it is fun because you get to see them back pedal really quick.

Great Caesar’s ghost, I don’t knowingly partake in anything like that. I have friends that are white and seem to have no problems with Blacks, but hate Hispanics. I have to check them and check them hard. I have to let them know I am not going for any of that gobbledygook. My closest friend is Hispanic, my fiancée, is part Hispanic, I have a niece who is part Hispanic. I have a very blended family. I will not allow any Black people I associate with to talk about white people because I have a niece that is have Irish, and a great nephew that is part Irish, Black, Dutch, and a few other things. I don’t play that crap no matter what quarter it comes from.

Of course! Not that I even believe half of the shit we say. Racial, ethnic, and gender stereotypes are so ridiculous, it’s hard not to laugh at them. It’s only done in a joking way, and even then, we don’t make a conscious effort to do it that often. If someone were being seriously racist, though, then I’d have an issue with it.

@Joker94 that is what I am trying to get at? When do you draw the line?

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Whenever someone intends to be offensive. You can usually distinguish between somebody joking about racism and somebody who’s being a legitimate racist. If I were with a group of people just taking cheap shots at some culture for no real reason, I’d probably want to excuse myself.

I never pass up the opportunity to tell Xenophobe assholes I think they are assholes.

@Blackberry Jim Beam and Coke, realllly? One of my faves bro!

Do they have guns? Because if they have guns while they say that, I’ll just simply get their cellphone numbers then tell em I’m leaving and will call them in five minutes and tell them off! Lol.

Seriously, when do you draw the line? When you start feeling cheap for not saying anything. That’s when you draw the line, imo.

I don’t even get invited to participate in soft porn.

I lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere for a bit of time, and I’m not quite sure what made it such a hotbed for racist, sexist, homophobic pigs, but it was. I quickly gained a reputation for being no fun whatsoever, because I wasn’t quite so accepting of their “humor” as they had come to expect people to be.

Now, that is not to say that every sleepy little town is full of people who act like that. There were many people who were amazingly freethinking. It was just that they had learned that to fit in, you had to keep your mouth shut. It was easier for me, because I knew that I wouldn’t be staying. Also, there wasn’t much diversity, and it is easier to be prejudiced when there is no one there to object.

People aren’t really openly racist where I live, but California is also very diverse. A lot of people I know who do talk like that are doing so for laughs by intentionally avoiding being PC and don’t believe a word they’re saying – kind of like making fun of extreme and/or bullshitty points of view/ways of talking by adopting them in a jokingly manner and exhibiting the redonkulousness of it all. I’ve done it, too, but a big part of it is knowing who your audience is when you talk like that. I sometimes mock stereotypes and figures of speech associated with religion, politics, race, etc. I poke fun at myself, my friends poke fun at me, I poke fun at them, but I always try to remain aware of who I’m joking with because you can’t expect everyone to understand or enjoy every facet of your personal sense of humor.

I’ve never come across too many people who participated in your examples of “soft racism”, unless I thought they were joking and they really weren’t and I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s ever happened. Some things are so ridiculous (which is why they’re made fun of in the first place), I might just assume they’re kidding. But if not, my inner jackass side would want to fuck with them and make a shitty comment about their ethnicity and act like I totally believe it and aren’t aware that it pertains to them. Okay, that might get me into trouble. Alright, I need to rethink my brilliant plan…

Great question, btw.

Yep, all the time. As a white woman living in West Virginia (and prior to that in a fairly rural town in Maryland), people say all sorts of incredible shit to me. They have no way of knowing that: my kids are half-Jewish, I have ex-boyfriends of every possible color, two of my best friends are gay, and that I’m a huge Obama supporter. Ugh.

If I know the person well enough, I let them know I find their comments offensive. If I’m worried for my safety, I don’t. (I had this window repair guy in my house, while I was alone, who went off on a crazy spiel about Obama being a Kenyan Muslim and the anti-Christ. Didn’t want to get too up in his face about it!)

@augustlan O.o And you know he’s nuts if he’s spouting the crap off in front of a client lol.

All the time. I’m a multi-ethnic but of American nationality going back to the early 1800’s, most people tell me they think I’m white though I don’t identify as white so they usually feel safe to say whatever they want around me. Now and them if I dislike the vein of things then I’ll say something about what I find funny about white-black-Russian-Jewish-Hispanic people and it kind of stops there.

@augustlan Your comment reminded me of the time I first met a friend’s fiance and, within an hour or so of being introduced, he was throwing around racist comments about “all the fucking Muslims in this country” those were his words not mine and I couldn’t help but think that he didn’t have a clue about my own racial background or those of any good friends of mine so who the hell did he think he was being so comfortable making these comments to a stranger?! This is the same man who “jokingly” said that I could bring any plus one to his wedding as long as they weren’t a “Paki”. Disgusting, vile man. I love my friend but her (now) husband is a class A dickhead.

The last time I recall it happening wasn’t about racism but homosexuality, and it was directed towards a new co-worker. I would consider it soft…they were joking about him being more of a tennis player than a football player. For some reason, it really ticked me off. I lied and told them that they were talking about my brother. It stopped the conversation cold, at least in front of me. That was 30 years ago.

Since then, I’m willing to speak up when anyone makes a statement that judges a group or individual based upon a stereotype. It may do no good in the long run, but it makes me feel better than holding my tongue.

Reading up on all your posts got me thinking that if those are examples of soft racism – what’s considered hard?

@zensky Killing someone solely due to hatred of their race? Lol.

Hard racism……….the case of Emmett Till maybe.

@Blackberry Come again?

@zensky If soft racism is just making jokes, then hard racism could be anything worse, like physical violence.

@zensky I think if I had to ask again, I might use the word casual.

The phrase `those people`` reminds me of a moment that still makes me want to crawl under the rug! As one of two white parents hanging out in the kitchen during a kids party when my daughter was in preschool, we were all very impressed with their built in coffee machine (it did everything and the coffee was amazing) I said ``These people know their coffee``, just as a lull came over the chatter in the room. I was referring to the host parents not an ethnic group. Every East Indian and Asian face turned to stare at me. Ergh! So embarrassing. I`m married to a Lakota man, but I guess that didn`t give me a pass. Sooo, I intentionally edit it anything I say now, even when it should be acceptable. Feels a bit unfair, but it’s safer.