What words do you use in alternative to a curse word?
You all know it’s bad to say curse words, and I damn well know you all say them. What do you use in alternative to a bad word?
Like, instead of F*** I say Fart.
Or, instead of A** I say balls.
But I always say Damn and Douche.
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Cupid stunt, when in earshot of the kids.
Cheese and Rice is always a nice substitute for Jesus Christ.
In the rare instances that I feel I should watch my potty mouth, I merely use less offending variations of cuss words. Like heck or freakin’. I’m also a big fan of dang and shite. (how they say shit in Scotland) Although living in a French place, these words are barely said by me. I got French variations of French cuss words, like estic instead of ostie, which I also barely use.
George Carlin would be proud of me. XD
On the rare occasions when I need them, I use the genuine article (but do check to see who’s in hearing range.(Never in front of my little nephews, of course.) I’d probably say “bloody hell,” since I can get a nice blast of heat and air from the “b” and “d” sounds and a powerful hiss with the ‘h.”
@Symbeline: What does “estic” (and “osti”) mean.? They are terms I am unfamiliar with.
Edit; Never mine. I found “ostic de tabarnak” as a French Canadian minced oath.
Host of the tabernacle.
“You copulating male offspring of an unwed female dog!!!”
I use fudge for f**k, shoes for sh*t, douche for d*ck
One that I heard which made me laugh was “Christ on a bike!”
Buggerlugs
Hells bells
Fanny pack
Rumplestiltskin
Cream crackers
@gailcalled It’s Québec swearing. Most of their cussing revolves around religion, and can be seen as the equivalent of blasphemy in English, when it comes to the ’‘offending factor’’. Like goddamn it, using the Lord’s name in vain, etc.
Ostie (has an E at the end, I didn’t even know until I went to fetch the link) is a holy wafer. Estic is just a deformation of that word, so people can swear without offending anyone. Like saying gosh instead of god.
@Michael_Huntington Reminds me of an Eminem song…I didn’t say fuck, I said fack! (a song he wrote to make fun of all the people who think he should tone down the swearing in his songs lol)
@gailcalled Ooops, didn’t see that you edited your post.
Fuck = Fuck
Cock = Cock
Dickhead = Rumsfeld
I just say really toned down stuff like holy moly, shoot, darn, eff or effing.. or freakin’, crap, crud… etc. I also love “shut the front door” in place of “shut the fuck up.”
Arse = tookus as in “kiss my tookus”.
Dick = tallywacker as in “Suck my tallywacker”.
@Symbeline: If you’re not familiar with Georges Brassens’ “La ronde des jurons,” prepare yourself for a treat.
Lyrics
Georges himself singing here
Sample;
Tous les morbleus, tous les ventrebleus
Les sacrebleus et les cornegidouilles
Ainsi, parbleu, que les jarnibleus
Et les palsambleus
Tous les cristis, les ventres saint-gris
I have a potty mouth, and have been known to cause elerly women to burst into flame with my cussing.
When I am trying to ease off, I will use random sounds, which end up sounding like a comination of Klingon and Farsi. Sometimes that, with the right force, is enough.
I will admit to loving Hunter S. Thompson’s “Creeping Jesus!”
“Geesum Pete” is a common one in southern Louisiana—maybe the South in general. I don’t use it, but I have a soft spot for it.
My aunt says “Aww sugar,” which is also amusing.
Once, I heard a female college tour guide use “Oh my flip,” which still seemed pretty inappropriate, because it was impossible not to fill in your own translation.
Oh, wow… I almost forgot the best one. I was buying something at a ghetto Circle K and the large, black lady behind the counter was taking her time ringing up my sale. She brought me my debit receipt, but no pen. I was being kind of an impatient dick and said sort of sternly that I needed a pen. I guess she ddn’t want to do too many things at once, because she walked back over to where my receipt came out to get the pen and then walked back over to me. I signed and said “thank you” somewhat artificially, I suppose to which she deadpan replied as I turned to walk out the door “Merry Christmas.” It was July. She just told me to go fuck myself. When I realized that later, I thought it was freakin’ hilarious. I wish I had thought to wish her a Happy New Year.
I also like lint licker and french you toast from the old Orbitz gum commercial.
@gailcalled Holy crap lol. (I forgot, crap is also a word I like to replace shit with)
I always loved cré nom de nom, myself. (never use it though, nobody would know what the hell I’m talking about if I did.)
So this guy basically has a collection of a buncha French cussing that isn’t totally without class. (as opposed to putin de merde and what have you) Very nice. :)
Cripes
Dang
Friggin’
Effin’
Douche
Shite
Crap
Jeez Louise
Oooooooooooooh Poo. (the oh is held long, when you realize that a little kid or an elderly person is within ear shot and you are trying to stop yourself from saying the next word)
ahhh Footing basket!!
pants!
fiddle sticks
sugar butties
You are doing my tree in!
Geez!
Aw, dang it!
Cripes sake!
Stupid witch! (when I mean to say “bitch”)
And even when I use these words sometimes, my young children still look at me disapprovingly and go “Ohh…Daddy!”
My son says “truck” at least that’s what he said, he said. I still think it was F@ck!!!
My Hubby says, “crime-iny.”
@Judi . . . wow. i haven’t heard “crimeiny” in years. My best friend in 4th grade used it all the time.
Pooper scoopers is my favorite these days.
I’m beginning to think I must be the only person on earth who doesn’t use curse words or their substitutes. When I get hurt, I yell OUCH or OW OW OW, and when I get mad I yell OH NO.
I guess my mother’s soap in the mouth treatment really worked.
soap in the mouth is child abuse
Many times I caught myself sayin’ What the frack instead of what the fuck because I was surrounded by children. 95% of the times I wanted to curse was because of gaming or whatever!
@Blondesjon Yes, so it is. I would never do that, but my parents raised me in the 40’s when beating and such were common. I was hit with a belt several times as a child.
Good Old Charlie Brown’s “Rats!” cover a lot of ground. I don’t use most of the current swear words except an occasional shit.
Fuck: Frack. Fuch.
Son of a bitch: Son of MY MOM! Son of a motherless goat. Son of a sea sucker.
I just say all the other ones…
Feck, Frack or Flip.
Sugar.
If directed at a person, “you plonker”.
I use effin and foook.
With my students in class, I’ve used bahll-oh-ney and hokey for BS. With one particular student who had a potty mouth, I used horse-poo-poo when he tried to convince me of some…. horse poo-poo.
@Hypocrisy_Central… Never used that one. Haha.
I just hit my hear, and yelled “Son you a basketcase.” though. :)
Frak or smeg. Yup, I’m a nerd.
Son of a b**ch = Son of a biscuit eater!
F**k = Frikkin elf nuts! (that one’s courtesy of my hilarious mother)
D**n = Darn
S**t = Spit
B**ch = Wanker
A**hole = Schmuck/Putz
D***head = Schmuck/Putz
That’s only for when I’m really trying to watch my mouth. Most of the time I prefer to use the actual words; it makes me feel better to let loose with a firm “fuck!” when I need to.
I just say What the!!!!…..
Folks can fill in the rest.:p
@AshLeigh Son of a sea sucker and son of a motherless goat are completely priceless. :D
I love stuff like Zounds! Curses, or what in the seven hells. But I’ve never been able to habituate myself in saying them in my every day life.
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