How can I stop fixating on a lost item?

Yep, just let it go, and maybe, as often happens, it will turn up when you least expect it. ;-)

I feel your pain. I just moved and looked everywhere for the brackets and screws for my ping pong table. Had this huge party planned this weekend and was determined to have the ping pong table set up so I went to 4 hardware stores and bought up their entire inventory of 6mm screws to fit the screw nuts in the table stock….got strapping to make my own brackets and 5 hours later the table was playable. When I searched out the paddles buried in a box, guess what I found….the brackets and screws!! I had been through that box 4 times before too. Frustrating as all get out!

You might ask yourself what you are losing right now while you fixate. Are you missing out on time with the people you love? Are you losing sight of any goals you may have. Sometimes we need to let go to stop the bleeding.

Try simply observing your mind fixating. Don’t let it carry you away down into the depths of that fixation – rather, observe it happening and note it. As you move through your day, gently note to yourself when you are fixating. Don’t blame yourself and beat yourself up about it, but observe how that fixation makes you feel. Then go back to what you are doing.

As an alternative, you might try vipassana meditation.

@bikingcatlady, I was a fixater too. Had to hunt the house down or whatever to find the item. Partly it was about the item, like in a sense I was being ripped off by the universe if I was missing this item that was MINE, and at a more realistic level, it was also about me – whether I could trust myself to look after my stuff. It seems to me you are a conscientious person just wanting to have her ducks in a row and while I don’t have an exact how to get over the mentality, I am hoping that recognizing some possible roots is of value. I find I can laugh about something once I know what it is all about. In my own case, I think I became a fixater because as a child if you lost something it was tantamount to hiding under the bed in cowering fear. After all, there was NO MONEY to get another says the parent and also it might have to do with emotional repercussions of bad feelings towards yourself for losing it in the first place. That is not the adult you, but the kid you who might have a root system. At least I did! Understanding what it is about is half the battle.

Focusing on the fact that it’s not lost, just misplaced always makes me feel better. That I know it’s still in the house, just being kept by goblins ( just kidding! ) gives me peace of mind. Sometimes it’s exciting to sit down, reflect on the logical place where it should be and think like Sherlock Holmes. I ask myself, my housemates and try to piece together past events that may have caused this lost item to be removed and placed somewhere else.

I have a forgetful friend who can’t find her car keys one day. She searched, her clothes, her house, her car and traced her walk. Nothing. She told me the last thing she did was buy groceries. I told her “follow” the groceries. She then searched the pantry, the fridge, the plastic bags in the trash. Nothing.

I asked her where her receipt was. She always keeps her receipts, you see. She said she put it in a plastic bag like she always does. We checked the trash but no plastic bag with the receipt. Told her find that plastic bag with the receipt and if we’re lucky her keys would be there. And true enough, she recalled buying her husband toothpaste and when we went search their bathroom drawer, the toothpaste was there still inside the plastic bag along with the receipt and car keys. Voila!

Like two arm wrestlers, my willpower and that nagging voice perspire and struggle against one another. My willpower usually wins, but it is a conscious effort. I force my mind into accepting what I want it to sometimes.

I lost my “techie pants.” I did tech for the musicals in high school where I wore these jeans, got them covered in paint, and formed amazing memories. In college, these pants proved to be magical/lucky. Then I lost them. I was devastated. To cope, all I could do was imagine that they were off in the world having adventure and bringing good fortune to those who need it more than I. Your lost item is now my techie pants’ sidekick! Congratulations!

Depending on your dreaming “abilities”, when you lay down at night you can try telling yourself that you’ll dream about the location of the item. I know it sounds strange, but it sometimes works.

When I was in high school, I accidentally threw out a bracelet with no monetary value but a lot of sentimental value. I was devastated by it and actually considered going through the cafeterias garbage after school (threw it out with my lunch garbage). But I didn’t. After a few days of letting myself be devastated, I told myself to focus more on what the item meant to me and embrace items that meant the same things. I was fine after that!

Two days ago, when I was cutting the grass, I lost the shirt I’d bought a few months ago. I vaguely remember taking it off because it was hot out. But then I think I still had it on when I came inside and I can’t remember if I took it off later while vacuuming. What bothers me is: 1) I’d just bought it; 2) I got it on sale; 3) I wonder if somebody stole it because I left it out in the yard; 4) this was the SECOND time I recently lost something I had just bought. (The first time was when I lost a Home Depot bag containing big bottle of bungee cords and some rope I had gotten on sale.)

I didn’t want to wake up today because I knew I’d have to face up to losing something else I just bought. I keep wondering if my wife moved these things or if I was alone responsible. It takes all my self-discipline to not keep looking for these things. I have to allow myself to think about how inadequate I feel about losing the things and then tell myself I’m not that inadequate. I keep praying for God to help me focus on the present and do His will and not mine. I’m trying to turn this obsession over to God. If it’s his will that I find these things (or not), then I will abide by His will. In the meantime, I just have to keep praying for God to help me focus on the present.

I’m so glad to see I’m not in this fixation life alone. I have battled this “problem” for years now and it is getting the best of me.

If I misplace objects, it becomes my only mission in life to locate it. No matter what it is, what value it has. This is a huge issue for me and I want nothing more but to just stop the fixation and go on with my day and get over it, let it turn up when and where it turns up, but instead I will search and search and get so aggravated I could literally shed tears about the situation.

How do I stop? This is a huge issue for me. I want to learn mindfulness and meditation. I know it will help my anxiety, and pray it will also help solve this issue as well.

I want to learn to let it go. Any suggestions?