NSFW. See inside for details.

I am with the girlfriend. I would have broken it off too.

Nah, I don’t think that is acceptable….kinda strange actually.

There are nudist colonies with whole families that go. I know it’s hard for our puritanical, kindergarten country to understand these “deviants”, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with it. I do agree that people who see differently on the topic shouldn’t date, though.

Only in America….It’s not odd to be nude. It’s sexualized here in America. I have no idea why.

I’ve known Swedes, Germans and a few other ethnicities here in my area that had saunas, hot tubs and rolled in the snow…naked…as a family….no sex.

I don’t see anything inherently wrong with it, but when people violate social norms (even arbitrary ones) and then act like the weird one is you, it’s a big red flag.

Eewww, that’s creepy. If I saw my dad naked, I’d probably throw up.

No it isn’t right and for pretty obvious reasons I would have thought.

Not good.

That’s pretty frickin’ weird.

That would be a no-go for anyone in my families. We’re all Americans, this would be odd and maybe suspicious behavior for us.

Parents naked, not a problem. Teens naked, not a problem. Parents and teens naked together… not on.

OK, here we go…we had no modesty issues growing up in my family, 3 daughters, no big deal from little teeny tykes to grown-up-hood. My sisters and I got less naked around our folks as we got older, but we still wouldn’t worry about it if anybody was naked in front of anybody else. There was nothing weird, creepy, sexual, pervie or anything else about it, it simply was as it was. It’s not like everybody was puritanically covered up until puberty when we all stripped and got skeevie, it just was normal in our family to not care.
It’s not about the covered or uncovered aspect, it’s about how someone behaves relative to the covered or uncovered situation.

Pretty strange, and dirty, but no I believe in privacy of one’s self. I just like privacy, in fact I don’t even come out of the bathroom from my own room to change clothes when I am taking a shower. Mostly other boys would’ve said “sure, I like it…” but I don’t like this disgusting idea. Soz Chyna.

It’s not weird at all among some groups of society, particularly in Europe. We’ve turned into such a fearful/sexualised society that people get all up in arms about how others choose to interact.

God made your body, to be ashamed of it, is to be ashamed of Gods work.
If God wanted you clothed, you would not be born naked.

Actually, @DrBill , I’m pretty sure God arranged for us to be born naked so He wouldn’t be stuck with the dry-cleaning bill.

Yep another vote for creepy.

Not acceptable. She might think of calling the cops.

Really, @Imadethisupwithnoforethought ? Did anyone complain? Does she have any reason to believe that anything untoward or unlawful was going on? Did the daughters act weird or give any indication that there was something improper going on? Sure, think it’s a bit off if you want, but to suggest calling the cops? Good grief, such a fuss! If the woman doesn’t want to date him anymore because she’s uncomfortable with it then I support her 100% because there are probably many lifestyle aspects with which she would not be compatible, but to assume outright that abuse is happening is just egregious.

It creeps me out too. I agreed with her when she stopped dating him. I have 3 older brothers and we grew up in a very small house with only one bathroom and I never saw them naked, nor them me. A different time, different ways of being brought up I guess.

@JilltheTooth, I am willing to err on the side of over zealousness on occasion when children are involved. It creep-ed out this woman enough to cause concern and talk to Chyna.

Maybe I am being a little uptight, but if you caught me in a hot-tub with my daughter when she is developed, and we are naked, please call the cops on me.

My sisters and I would have been raised in foster care if that was the criteria. I get that it creeps most people out, but based solely on the information we were given in the Q I think your response was an over-reaction. I think it’s only an issue if you make it one.

@JilltheTooth I had a good friend that regularly showered with her bro & her dad. They were not nudists, just normal. Under the guidelines set here, she’d have been removed from her home. Heck, maybe her dad & her brother should be in jail and her mom should be scoffed at for allowing it?

Personally, I think it’s bizarre when people are weirded out by a body. I’m fine with public breast-feeding, so apparently I’m a nut.

@SpatzieLover I’m also fine with public breast-feeding. However, I’m not fine with a father sitting naked in a hot tub with 3 naked teenagers. There really is no comparison.

Not really. I don’t see anything wrong with being nude in front of your own family members, as long as nothing untoward goes on. That’s the way we were born. It’s only our upbringing and Western culture that make us feel uncomfortable about it.

I’m going with no just because of the age of the daughter. They’re still figuring stuff out at that age.

If nudity for its own sake is not treated as sexual in the household while growing up, there is simply no issue. The issues happen when there is inappropriate behavior, touching, comments, insistence on being naked even if someone is uncomfortable. In our house it was a non-issue. Sometimes we were naked, sometimes we weren’t. It really was just that simple. We spent a lot of our vacations as a family on sailboats, and nudity issues would have been logistical nightmares. I am grateful that we were an easy household like that.

From a spiritual side of thing, I say it is a no-no.

From the secular side of things, to say it is wrong creepy, deviant, debase, etc would be hypocritical and disingenuous.

The girlfriend is out in left field somewhere.

@JilltheTooth I agree with your view. I just see all the crap our media and society throws at girls and women I’m a little reluctant to say this is okay. That’s sexist but I think it’s the truth. I’d like to hear anyone that disagrees.

people are not ashamed of their body, until they are taught to be ashamed

Children do not connect being nude with being sexual, until they are taught

People are too prude. It’s only a big deal b/c people have made it a big deal. Until those girls were “of age,” that man probably bathed them, witnessed them running around nude, etc.

I’d think it were a problem if he were running around with a raging boner and they were fondling each other.

But I think it shows that they actually respect each other enough to be able to be in that situation without making it an issue.

Back in the day, everyone was naked, and sexuality existed and families survived. What changed that caused the need for families to be clothed with one another lest they be labeled as perverse? The invention of clothing? Please.

When I was a child, we lived in Japan and public baths were pretty common. They did separate a mens bath and womens bath as I recall, but there was also a family bath area. In Japan, you wash up before you get in the tub. We sat on little stools and washed each other’s back’s and rinsed off before getting in the hot water to soak (or steep as the water was pretty hot) Of course I didn’t know any different so I didn’t, and still don’t really get worked up about seeing nekkid people. The situation in the original question is a little creepy for me, but It may be a cultural thing that we don’t know about. I shouldn’t pass judgement unless, as @mrrich724 says someone is sporting massive wood, then it crosses the line to extra creepy.

When I was in the service, we had a whole gang shower room full of guys, popping zits on each others backs and stuff. If someone had popped a boner it would have been very awkward. Thankfully it never happened.

Your friend’s ex-boyfriend is well rid of her. If she is that prudish and judgmental, I pity any man who ends up with her as a girlfriend.

Nudity is not about sex.

Let me say that again.

Nudity is not about sex.

That the ex and his daughter are comfortable with each other’s bodies seems to me to be an excellent thing. That your friend is freaked suggests to me that she has a pretty warped mind. I have no idea what she thinks, but it can’t be good. Does she suspect him of having an inappropriate relationship with his daughter? Get a grip! If that was going on, he never would mention it.

No, it is your friend who has a real problem. Unfortunately, given the responses here, I’d have to say that 90% of fluther has a real problem. Their phobias and judgments about nudity—the fear that this is all about sex—is a real problem. Of course, it is an American problem, and truth be told, it is my problem as well.

Well, if it was up to me, it wouldn’t be a problem, but my wife has the same ideas about nudity equating to sex as all the other Americans seem to. Life ain’t perfect, obviously.

I’d have to say the real issue here is that the bf is willing to go against social convention and she isn’t. I think she is wise to break up with the guy because that will be a serious problem if that is not the only way he dances to a different drummer. If that is the only way he is different, then I suspect she is missing a damn good catch. But that’s on her.

@wundayatta This isn’t part of the question and is not relevant to the issue, but she found out later that he was married and had two other girlfriends, so no, she isn’t missing a damn good catch.

To me, it’s weird.

That’s kind of like having herpes in that it’s probably something one should talk about sometime before having sex.

I’m with @XD: It’s something I’d like to know about before the person goes about inviting my teens to get naked and hang about.

I think context is everything here. And so is MUTUAL consensuality. If any the girls in this family went through a period of time when they express discomfort about it and it were NOT honored, that’s a huge red flag.

Likewise, if any of the other males in the household were being aroused or inappropriate in other ways, that’s an obvious danger signal.

But absent any weirdness, if everybody in the family is comfortable, then it’s not a problem. But if this girl is repulsed about her bf being a part of this then she needs to drop him and move on. Let’s face it, it’s not too unlikely that at some point in time they would most likely be expecting her to be around them in that state (and possibly expecting her to strip down as well).

That would obviously be a non-consensual scenario so it’s best she departs before that type of awkwardness even occurs.

But there are entire groups of nudist families who routinely get together on their own isolated property areas without any weirdness involved (and presumably an active group-vigilance against any imropriety.

It’s not everybodys cup of tea (as it isn’t mine) but I don’t think that judging the worst is warranted.

Let’s face it, if there were guys there with pervy or predatory intentions, it would be extremely difficult to hide. Nature provides it’s automatic signal. Erections are very obvious and not easy to camouflage without any clothing being worn.

I’d be immensely uncomfortable in such a situation, but to each their own, I guess..

Hey, if you started introducing nudity in the household now, you would eventually get used to it. Whaddya say, guys? Why not let the bits jiggle around for a bit during dinner time….

I would be so uncomfortable with that situation, I probably wouldn’t be able to ever look at them straight again.

Eh… I’ve done it when visiting family in Korea, but I’d never do it willingly, just seems so… awkward.

Ahh, the Michael Jackson method in childcare, I don’t approve.

Oh yeaaa… that is a huge no from me. It may be wrong or right I don’t care, but I would not get nekkid in front of my father.

Mom: fine
sisters: fine
Daddy/bro: NO!!

I’m okay with nudity otherwise, on beaches, parties even people that walk around their own house/gardens nekkid, heck I do it all the time. I don’t care, but this particular situation is really weird for me.

There are very few bodies that are attractive enough naked that I want to be confronted with them. Hip hugging pants and short tops that bare muffin tops are quite enough!

I would probably find this a bit strange but I don’t know if this is just because society has conditioned us to be shy with our naked bodies. Having said that, when we were kids my mum wasn’t shy about her body and would often be naked in the house. I am also ok with being naked around my mum but I would be uncomfortable being naked around my dad.

@chyna Oops. My bad. Should have asked if there are any other relevant details before assuming the question was an accurate representation of the entire reason for your friend’s response. Just think of it this way: assuming your question was complete, that is what my answer would be. Obviously, she’s not losing a catch if he has several other girlfriends—that is, if his other relationships affected his relationship with her.

I think it’s hilarious that a few square inches of flimsy material make all the difference. If they were getting off on it, that would be totally different. But simply to consider it wrong by default? No.

No @wundayatta, as I stated before, it was not relevant. She broke off with him because his ideas of nudity differed from hers. She found the other stuff out later. It isn’t relavant anyway, as my question was what your thoughts were on being nude with your kids, not if she was correct in breaking up with him. I already stated that she found out after.

@Jellie why not? Are they going to lose all control and molest you? Are they going to be so shaken by your beauty that you fear they may fantasize about you and be unable to maintain a romantic relationship in the future?

Is there a legitimate reason behind this? I’m not trying to single you out, b/c it seems a common feeling on this thread, but I’ll ask you since you differentiated why it’s ok in front of some family members, and not other (male) ones.

@mrrich724 I’m sure I’m not the only one that makes the distinction between male/female. I’d much rather undress or change in front of my female friends than male. It applies to other relationships too so not just family. My legitimate reason is my feeling! I feel more comfort this way. And I’m not too bothered about questioning my feelings in this particular instance because it isn’t causing me any problems or causing anyone else problems.

why not? Are they going to lose all control and molest you? Are they going to be so shaken by your beauty that you fear they may fantasize about you and be unable to maintain a romantic relationship in the future?

This was digusting, crude and absolutely unnecessary. I understand you feel a way different to mine but that does not give you a reason to talk bullshit like that.

Do you think this man would be running around naked with his teenage/college age son and his friends, throwing a frisbee and sitting in the hot tub on a Saturday afternoon?

honest question. I have a feeling he wouldn’t be hanging around naked, neither would the boys.

and don’t get me wrong. I’ve spent many hours at a nude beach in my youth. in fact, more time there than at my college classes. I’m no prude.

@jonsblond Um, yeah.

@Blackberry I honestly can’t picture my husband hanging out in our yard with our sons who are 17 and 19, and their friends. No freakin’ way. lol

@jonsblond Well of course, it sounds crazy when you’ve never considered the notion before due to how we were raised.

If I was a woman from America, I wouldn’t just go to a regular beach in Spain and take my top off just because everyone else is doing it. I would still feel it’s wrong in my own mind. But if I started meeting some friends, stayed there for awhile, got to know and felt comfortable with them, who cares if they’ve seen my mams lol.

@Jellie I wasn’t trying to talk shit. I was pointing out that it may be irrational.

Fine, you are entitled to your feelings, and at the end of the day, that is good enough to not do what you don’t want to do.

But I made the statement to illustrate the reality that there really is nothing to be afraid of. There is no reason other than people were conditioned to feel that way.

@mrrich724 why is my choice in this particular petty issue evoking such a rude response? I never mind people questioning my opinions and feelings. I do mind when people take the start that you did. There are more civil ways to “point out that it may be irrational.” Your criticism is more than welcome your attitude isn’t.

I apologize for having offended you. But sometimes, the easiest way to illustrate a point is to use an extreme example.

It’s just me, because I can’t be offended at all, but for me that’s fine. A bit weird, but fine, no reason to break up at all.