Have anyone in your life who is jaded? How do you deal with them?

I ignore them. By the time they get that callous about things in life there is little you can do to do but tell them to STFU or buy them an ice cream or both.

I just let them be what they are.If they can’t figure out how to appreciate what they have in life then that is too bad…and really,so what? Ya know? ;)

Oh crap. In all seriousness, those are my characteristics…

None of my close friends or family.

I’ve been the jaded one before but I guess not to the extent of your descriptions.

Of course the criteria isn’t black and white, but I’ve never met someone that jaded before. One could say a jaded person is someone that is simply hesitant (to whatever degree) to show vulnerability.

I’m aware that I’m jaded, and I’m not sensitive, and I don’t have mood swings, even when I was at the height of my jaded cynicism.

The type of person following these criteria would seem to have more problems than just being jaded, and I would probably keep them as an acquaintance and not a close friend. You can’t just shake someone out of a problem, they have to do it themselves somewhat, and I’m not the best at walking people through their problems.

I have let two people go this past year with these issues.

Sad but toxic hardly covers it. lol

It is called martyrdom and it is a sad and ugly place to inhabit.

Mix in a goodly amount of other fucked up traits like manipulation and gross emotional maturity and it is about as dark a place as any human being can dwell.

OMG I just found out a girl friend of mine is like that and I thought we were good friend, funny enough.

I used to. That kind of energy gets very tiring over time. Life’s too short to spend time getting ones knickers in a twist over others’ issues.

Like @Coloma I’ve had to let some of them go. Others that are family members, I have not let go but limit the time, attention and energy I will give them.

It can be much more difficult if you have gone through the exact same situations as a person like this and they keep deminishing what happened to you.

I’ve met people like that, but I steer clear. When I have to interact with them, I say as little as possible. I just think to myself, they have to live with themselves and that must be awful.

Completely, totally ignore them.
Freaks…

I think it is a 2 ways system in any relationship. If I find out my friend has no time for me when I need to talk or they simply don’t care I see them not really as friends. The so-called friendship may fade away if she/he doesn’t resolve it.

I deal with myself just fine. ;) Really, I consider myself jaded, I just don’t take it out on other people.

R, I love you, even though you are. ;)

I’d consider myself jaded, but I don’t intentionally take it out on other people. I do have mood swings sometimes and that may or may-not directly affect the people around but I try to contain everything to myself. Another way I feel I may be a negative influence is through some of my in-actions i.e Certain things I did before that made people around me happy that I don’t feel much interest in doing anymore.

Where did you get these definitions? A lot of what you define as jaded and bitterness are textbook signs of those who suffered abuse as a child.

Here

Eek. I give no credence to eHow.

Sorry, girl. I know what you’re saying. I should have researched more, and found a more reputable site.

None of that makes much sense to me. I don’t believe I’ve ever met anyone who meets those criteria. It sounds like a list created so that a jaded person can complain about others. It also sounds a bit like mental illness, so presented as it is, it seems like a way of bashing the mentally ill. Again, it seems to me that a jaded person would stigmatize the mentally ill. It’s so easy to bash on people who have no advocates and who can’t really advocate for themselves. Like people who have suffered abuse as a child.

Maybe I’m a little too jaded, but this seems like a mean-spirited question.

It is not a mean-spirited question. You’re being overly-sensitive.

I don’t understand. I thought “jaded” meant “made dull, apathetic, or cynical from experience”. You know, like “the public became jaded by public sex scandals”. Is this some new personality disorder or something? I know tons of people who have various qualities mentioned to varying degrees, I know no people who can be boxed squarely into this category. Not to mention that it seems more how someone else would view these “jaded people”, not how they would view themselves or why they are the way they are.

@Aethelflaed Yes, an apathetic personality. I know many people that fit this description precisely.

Was the Aerosmith song about this particular definition? Because I too thought jaded meant dull.

Yes, my father. He is the most jaded, negative motherfucker on the planet. If you were to look up toxic personality in the dictionary you’d see his picture.

I deal with it by trying to be around him as little as possible. It’s sad, because I am his caregiver. Sometimes my heart sinks when I hear his bedroom door open. Very sad.

@FutureMemory You just described my sis and others in my family. I know what you mean about your heart sinking :/

I’m jaded! Deal with me :-p

Bend over.

@Jude – No. You bend over :-p

I don’t bend over for anyone. :)

Awww. It would have been fun :-p

Alot of great philsophers were “jaded.” Many great musicians and artists are “jaded.” I believe “jaded” people are just not happy in their lives and understand what the general population is doing, but go another route because of moral disagreements. This is my opinion because I’ve been jaded for a long time. But I try my best not to be.

Wonderful question. I have a very disillusioned person in my near network. Man, age 31. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can reach out to him? He is jaded that way. Into himself and his own interests endlessly. Wants to meet his soul mate like all his family and friends have. But he doesn’t see the truth of the adage: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. By this I mean, the vibes he is sending out aren’t attracting what he mentally wants and emotionally needs. Comments?

@Jude You’re right. It’s not a mean-spirited question. I just find it mean-spirited, but you can safely discount my feelings since obviously I’m jaded. I’m overly sensitive (as you clearly stated, and you should know because you’re an expert. Right?) Not to mention I suffer from mood swings. Holy gee whiz, batman! The guy’s mentally ill. Of course he’s jaded. It’s right there in the definitions.

Sorry, but clearly it’s not mean-spirited to go after the mentally ill, right? What would you call that? Oh yeah. Healthy.

Damn, girl. If that’s healthy, I’m damn glad I’m not! I may be overly-sensitive, but I’ll take that any day to a lack of sensitivity, which is how I find this question. It demonstrates an enormous lack of sensitivity to someone in my situation. But you said it isn’t mean-spirited. You must be right. You are, after all, the model of sensitivity and judiciousness. Right? You don’t have a sharp knife you could lend me by any chance. I feel an urge to slit my throat coming on.

Just FYI: If the someone says “you’re being mean”, and you respond first with “you’re being too sensitive” instead of “interesting criticism, tell me more” or something less dismissive, I will think that probably you are actually being mean and are the one that is too sensitive.

@wundayatta Have you considered therapy?

How is asking a question about “jaded” people picking on the mentally ill or being mean-spirited @wundayatta?

Maybe I missed something or you’re reading between some lines that aren’t apparent to me???

@wundayatta I, myself, am a bit jaded.

@FutureMemory Who me? Therapy? Well, I know some people can go for decades, but at the moment, I’m only going for “tune-ups.” Three years of it has worn me out.

@SpatzieLover The definition of Jaded is the description of a mentally ill person. It is, in fact, a description of myself. However, I don’t think I belong in the category because I am very hopeful and I try to be constructive. I think it is mean-spirited to call someone jaded because they are mentally ill.

@Jude I’m sorry about that. I think that what keeps me from being jaded is working to have (and having) a pretty good model of human personality and behavior. I can understand why someone might behave as a politician or as a rapist or as a therapist or a parent of all different types. Because I understand (or believe I understand), I’m not jaded. I understand what we have to overcome and how difficult it is to overcome. I understand how people become jaded, although my definition of jadedness is quite different from the definition you provided.

I don’t think jadedness is characterized by a lack of concern for others, oversensitivity, grudge holding or mood swings. I think that jadedness is about the feeling of having seen it all and a despair that any action will have a positive impact. I think it can be associated with stopping acting as if you can make a difference, although I think jaded people still care. They are just frustrated.

Maybe I’m naive, but I believe people mean well, even if they give up on trying to do well. Hell, I believe that Republicans mean well, even if their proposals would be very harmful for poor people. I don’t think they see it that way. So I am not jaded about them as people, even if I think they are quite unwise.

But your definition is the definition of mentally ill people, and you probably didn’t mean it that way, but that is quite mean, in my opinion. Perhaps I did not state that very kindly, yesterday. I was somewhat thin-skinned yesterday because I had a wicked headache and I was in no mood to tolerate statements that I thought (and think) were pretty foolish. I apologize for saying intemperate things in my visceral reaction to something I found to be so wrong.

To answer your question, when I find someone who I think is jaded, I try to help them understand why people behave the way they do. I try to offer them suggestions about how they can deal with such people in a constructive way, so as to remove them as an obstacle to what they want to accomplish. However, I only do this for people whose goals I support. If people are on the wrong track, then there’s no way I’m going to help them.

@Jude So, perhaps I can contribute to how the description reads as so mean: If you were to apply this description to any jelly personally on Fluther, it would be removed as a personal attack. And I think this is because it reads as “look what a monster this person is, they are a monster”, not as “try and understand what makes this person act in sometimes unhealthy and toxic ways, so as to better have a relationship with them”; try it yourself, read it as if it’s someone describing you, and see how you feel. It’s very common when talking about more severe mental issues to simply paint The Monsters as Monsters, and we should just lock them up in Monster Prison. It’s a huge issue that continues to further stigmatize mental disorders, instead of helping people relate and go “ok, but had I been raised in x environment, and with y and z happening to me, can I really say that I would act any differently, especially if I wasn’t getting help?” I guess it’s just that I would never, ever want to tell someone who fit this description that I thought of them as such, because it would immediately put them on the defensive and they’d tune out everything else I had to say, instead of showing them compassion but also setting firm boundaries. I mean, there is basically a reason this was posted on eHow, and not done by any mental health professional.

@wundayatta The definition of Jaded is the description of a mentally ill person My sister has no mental illness or disorder. IMO, this describes someone who is in need of gaining emotional intelligence.