What should I do about my ex boyfriend situation?

The thing is that he is capable of moving on and settling with someone else. I have NOTHING to offer, just a young mother who is working her way through college. There must be something he wants or needs from me. I just don’t know what it is.

It pretty much sounds like there is one thing he is after from you and the other girls he is chatting up: booty.
Forget him.

He sounds like one of those guys who always needs to be with someone, even if that someone is you and he doesn’t even have any real feelings for you. You are one of his extra girls that he’s using while he’s out trying out everybody else.

I’m guessing he’s a real sweet talker. Don’t fall for it. Move on. You guys broke up for a reason.

I just read your second comment about him want/needing something from you. Yes he does, he needs a woman. Any woman. At this point you’ll do. Tomorrow, someone else will do just fine too and you won’t matter to him (again).

Please don’t become one of these young women who have all sorts of hopes and dreams and ideas of fluffy romance/mystery pinned on a guy who clearly isn’t a good match for you. He had the chance and he blew it. It’s so rare that a guy will have a light turn on over his head and he’ll say, “Oh my God! I can’t believe that I wronged @chickdownthestreet and I want to spend the rest of my life making up for it.” What he’s most likely thinking is, “I had a relationship with this chick, I need a chick in my life while I’m looking for other chicks, being alone and horny is no fun, so I’ll just hook up with @chickdownthestreet again for awhile until someone better comes along.

I hate to burst your bubble, but there have been so many women on this site that have thrown out every possible reason in the book for why their douchey dude is different. They all end up heartbroken, all over again, in the end.

Find a good man.

No more chances. Once you leave do not turn back. Keep moving forward in life.

If he really cared about you, he wouldn’t try to hook-up with other girls.

Thanks for the advice…I have always been one of those women who get used. I can never find the right guy…I thought he was.

If I’m reading correctly, you left him. Even if you still have warm fuzzies for him, you were the one who walked out the door. That pretty much gives him the “all clear” to see whomever he wants. Even if he wants you back. Even if he’s talking to you. Even if he’s asking you out. Until there’s some kind of commitment, there’s no commitment. Why must he cut off “talking to other women” if he wants to prove he’s serious about a woman who left him?

That said, it sounds like a mess, in and of itself. You’ve been together, it didn’t work out, just move on. It fell apart for a reason, and it probably will again, and a lot of that depends on why it fell apart the first time, but why buy used when you can shop for new?

He can do as he pleases while he’s available to. However, it’s not right to continue when he’s practically begging me to come back and I have some what agreed but haven’t made it official. I just don’t know what to do.

It reads as if he’s keeping other fires warm in case he can’t get you back. To me, that’s kind of weak and I wouldn’t feel very significant to him in your shoes. I’d be insulted.

I have so many mixed emotions at this point that I seriously hate myself. I always find myself in situations that are unbearable or straight up unbelievable.

That sucks, @chickdownthestreet , to feel self hate.
Do yourself some good and feel better on the way and take the decision that you don’t want to continue with this guy if that is what you want.
Because you’re worth it!

@chickdownthestreet: Anyone who puts you in a position to question your gut feelings or to make you hate yourself for wanting, ditch them.

Toughening up, sticking to your standards and what feels right doesn’t make you stuck up, doesn’t make you a bitch, doesn’t make you too good for everybody. It keeps you from wasting your time, it keeps your attention open to positive people rather than snakey ones.

Hating yourself is not a good sign. Even if you’re in turmoil, love is supposed to make you feel good.

my life just sucks in general. Everything seems to always fail and I’m typically the one who gets hurt. Oh well…maybe I should just pull a Bin Ladin and hide forever from everyone! ha!

@chickdownthestreet You are right, he can do what he wants because he is available right now. But if he really wanted to show you he loves you and wanted to change, he wouldn’t be chasing every female out there. Since you have a young child, you need to put the child first, you second and your education right there too. My advice would be to concentrate on your education, your child, and forget him. If he is meant to be in your life, he will be there when you are ready for him. Don’t be so needy that you have to have someone in your life, no matter how wrong they are for you. Learn to love yourself, then you will be open to love a deserving man who will love you the way you should be loved.

@chyna Thanks..

Move on and don’t look back. Someone better is out there. You don’t want to go through life on a roller coaster always guessing.

I agree with the others that you should move on. Actions speak volumes more than words can and his actions tell me that he still hasn’t changed.

Right now, focus on getting a good education and being a good mom. Learn to love and value yourself before getting into another relationship. And believe me when I say that this is not the man for you right now. You and your child deserve better this chump. Seriously. You do.

I wish you the best!

“I would like to give us another chance, however, I’m afraid he won’t stop talking to these other women and if he’s truly serious about a restart in our relationship.”

Tread carefully here. Before getting back with him, tell him that you want to have a conversation to clear the air. Then tell him what you have heard—that he has been chasing and talking to other women. Tell him you don’t know how to evaluate how serious he is that he wants to get back together.

Then see what he says. Then tell him that if he really wants to get back together, you have to know that there are not going to be other women in the picture.

Then let some more time pass and see what your friends are saying he is doing.

You didn’t mention one redeeming quality about this dude…that should tell you something. But you apparently have your pick of guys and he obviously can get his share of gals…maybe you are a match!?

There are always mixed emotions with ex’s. And the fact that you dated him for three years only makes it more complicated… but try to step back from the emotions and look at the situation. There was obviously something really wrong if you decided to break up in the first place. Can you think of a solid reason that you want to be with him? (Besides the emotional connection)

I know that in my own personal experience, which, granted, is not a ton – I tend to romanticize about things in my head. We always want what we don’t have, but often, once you get it back – it’s not what you remembered. What has changed in his life or yours that would make it better? Why would this time around be any better than the last?

I think the majority vote has been to move on, which is much easier said than done.. Time really does heal, but it is incredibly, painfully, and frustratingly slow. As a student, I know how difficult it is to manage college – and I can’t imagine doing it with a child. You should be proud… obviously you’re making something of yourself, just don’t let a bad relationship drag you down. Good luck.