Does it seem like the first couple of posts to a question set the tone for the types of response that come after?

Yes, I’ve noticed that too. I don’t know why that is.

I would disagree. I can be derisive or belligerent at any time and after any number of answers.

LOL! Well, @gailcalled, to that point, it’s harder to come in in the middle of an attack with a calm, even handed response, than it is to jump into the middle of a constructive discussion waving a big stick and pounding people on the head! It’s easier to change the course of a conversation to one of anger, than it is to change the course of an attack to calmness.

Yes.

OH, I should add that I can be nasty and bellicose and calm too. It comes with old age, I guess.

And I have found, for the most part, that if there is comment after comment that are critical (no matter what the tone), that they are usually warranted.

I also find myself on the attack when someone has a history of always needing to be right, best, and most superior. One simple little “you have a point” will take the wind out of my most inflated sail.

I does seem to be a bit of a trend and always has been but that doesn’t sway me from answering how I see fit.

Yes, I would agree with that. Good observation.

I was going to add a heap of speculation, then decided against it.

…You have a point @gailcalled. OK??? HOWEVER, there are times when I’ve come under attack for no real reason, other than the first two people who answered the question were snotty. It’s not always warrented.

Good point.

No. YOURS was a better point. LOL!

I absolutey insist that you have the sharper point. Pencils at twenty paces?

You’re on. Don’t forget the rubber band for to make slingshots outta da pencils!

Since I chose the weapon, you get to pick the venue.

Ok. I’ll go with…an Italian meal.

As the mods all know, if someone is belligerent to me, I can be belligerent right back. It does bother me, though, when I ask a question and one of the belligerent people chimes in and derails my question. Or I post a neutral diplomatic answer to some question, and one of the belligerent people is snotty to me because of my “ignorance” in not immediately taking his/her side of the issue. That makes my blood boil, and it’s all downhill from there…

But why some people are initially belligerent? I have no idea why some people are like that.

I don’t know either. Maybe a lack of self esteem @HungryGuy? They don’t really trust their own opinions so they figure if they yell no one will realize that?

@Dutchess_III – Maybe. One (I won’t name names so the mods won’t censor moderate my answer as flame bait) seems fairly intelligent and confident. So, in some cases, I think the problem is over confidence. “Knowing” that you’re right, and “knowing” that anyone who disagrees with you is wrong, is probably a recipe for a flame war.

Yes, I even take the opposite stance some times just to mess around.

EDIT: I call it the “who is going to be an asshole first hypothesis”.

@poisonedantidote I like doing that too if it gets too kumbaya up in here.

@HungryGuy is talking about me again, Mods!!!

I’m sure the first are more likely to contribute to the overall mood, but I doubt it’s all that deterministic. Kind of like how the first people to show up at a shindig sometimes set the mood, but it can always be changed later on.

@HungryGuy To be honest dude, (and with no intent to start anything here) I think you (and a handful of others here) sometimes interpret disagreement as hostility. I know you have at least a couple times with me, and it seemed to be the same with others. But to be fair, I have a kind of forceful writing style sometimes.

@Dutchess_III, I have also noticed this. It doesn’t happen all the time. I think it’s most common when the asker’s intent isn’t very clear. For example, the first poster might interpret the question as being offensive, and then other people who may not be sure how to interpret it will see what the first poster wrote and be influenced by his interpretation. Or they will see a post from a jelly they respect and won’t want to go against his opinion. It can be a bit of a problem if a question is interpreted wrong and people gang up on the asker when he didn’t truly mean any harm.

I don’t let the previous comments in a question influence how I am going to respond. Periodically, I’ll open a question where there is a firestorm and I’ll post my hopefully thoughtful response. The only thing I’ve worried about is that my comment will be completely lost in the back and forth.

If the comment are really bad then I’ll sometimes send the OP a PM instead.

It varies. Sometimes when the first few answers are sarcastic and dismissive, someone, sometimes me, gets on there and asks why everyone is being so sarcastic or dismissive. We also know that many times people, including me, state they have not read other responses, and so the other responses have not set the tone for those particular replies. Typically there is at least one or two jellies willing to counter a trend in one way answers.

It’s probably more like follow the leader. And those that see it hppening either don’t answer or try to change the tone.

Half the time I don’t read the answers until after I’ve posted, so no, not for me. Often I follow the question and post when I have time…which might be hours or days later.

I’ve noticed that, but sometimes an answer goes against the grain and people start agreeing with that person. I hate to say it, but sometimes I’ve kept thoughts to myself on here because they didn’t agree with the general flow of what people were saying.

@Haleth you shouldn’t do that. It could cause great harm to yourself if done enough times.

@woodcutter There are times when it seems like entering a debate would be pointless. Sometimes the opposite side is so set in their opinion I doubt I could change it. If that’s the case, the only other thing I can get out of it is… fun? A mental workout? Not every Q has those qualities… sometimes, jumping in would be about as fun as banging my head against the wall. What do you mean by self-harm?

@Haleth I know enough about people that Nothing I say is going to change their minds anyway. I don’t want that responsibility and isn’t my place to do it. But I see no harm in saying what I think about the subject and leave it at that. If they want to throw fire breath at me for doing that then meh, I’m fireproof. Having to be made to feel if I would dare to do it I will suffer some kind of internet wrath, would ding me up a little so I would rather deal with their unhappiness with my reply than feel intimidated which is harmful to me, maybe not to some.

It does seem like that sometimes. Why do I think it happens? Well, maybe (at least some of those) people simply want to fit in and/or are affected by other people’s moods…