If a person stops loving a spouse, do you consider that breaking a vow?

I’m not sure if a vow is broken. A promise? An ideal? A trust? Regardless of whatever it’s called, something is broken.

It depends on how you viewed your vows, I suppose. Did you make these vows with that person? Or did you make them to that person?

For me, I made them to that person. If I chose to cheat on them after they had cheated on me, I would personally view that as breaking my own vows.

It’s kind of like love. Its easier to love someone if they love you back. And easier to fall out of love if they don’t. But whether you still love them or keep your vows to them is still ultimately up to you (and your heart).

I wonder what it would be like, Spocklike, if we could control our emotions in that way. Alas, one doesn not decide when to fall in love, nor when to fall out of love. The question is interesting and valid, but we simply cannot control our emotions – and therefore cannot be responsible for falling out of love. What one does after the fact is more interesting.

You asked: What about loss of love? What if the person stops loving the spouse and stops having sex with them or being nice to them? Is that breaking vows?

Yes. If one doesn’t do everything in their power to “get back on track”, e.g. councelling – then I would say it is a breaking of vows of sorts.

But what do I know.

Well it was about “for better and for worse”. Not to mention they have to say it from their free will. I know that love decreases in time but you stop loving them it raises the question “Did you ever love them or it was only about pleasure/money/relatives/other things etc etc ? ”

In my book if the stop ,loving them they never loves each other in the true way but they ahve to keep their word. Can’t have divided loyalties.

I think in a long, successful marriage – you each fall in and out of love with each other many times. It doesn’t always stay at a constant flame, but if there is a grounding in respect and mutuality, you can usually find your way back to each other. If the love is truly gone, then each couple – or each member – has to decide what actions to take. I don’t see that “breaking a vow” has much relevance in the realm or emotion, nor do I see the loss of love as a rationale for the other party to cheat.

Well, in most marriage vows, it does say “I promise to love, honor and cherish…”, so I guess it would be considered breaking a vow. Although, sometimes one can not help falling out of love if they feel neglected or abandoned or abused IMHO. In regards to the difference between cheating and falling out of love, one can not always help one’s emotions but one can always refrain from sleeping with someone else.

No.
Things change, people change and these change relationships as well.
Love cannot be forced, nor contained, and while cycles happen, phases happen, if the feeling of not loving another goes on for more than a fairly short period of time, a re-evaluation of the relationship is in order.

Very few relationships are meant to last “forever.”

The concept of forever is very damaging and packs a lot of unrealistic expectation based on various conceptualized thinking.

“True love” is all about caring, nurturing and assisting another in their spiritual growth.

I think it is very damaging and dishonest to stay in relationships that we have outgrown which many people do.

Fear of change, duty, obligation, inertia, the status quo…none of these things have anything to do with “love.”

Not at all, you can’t help your emotions and feelings, sometimes.

Falling out of love is not something you choose to do.

Breaking a vow requires an intent, and then the action to realize that intent. As already stated, you can’t control your emotions. If you stop loving someone, well that’s that. When you agree to your vows before being wedded, it might sound like you’re breaking it. Since they’re all like, ...to hold and love forever…but technically, it isn’t breaking a vow, at least not how I understand breaking vows or promises work.

Strictly speaking, yes (read the proclamation).. That it happens is human. Would you choose to live with a person that you no longer love because of a vow? Self-punishment is much more wrong than realizing you never should have given your word at a time when you were in love.

@zensky I beg to differ.

Was part of your vows “til death do we part”? That might nul a divorce all together. How about “for worse or for better”? That might be another to stop a divorce. With these “vows”, can you even consider divorce? Keep in mind this is coming from someone who doesn’t believe in marriage.
Sorry if I wasted your time with my answer.

This is part of the reason I am uncomfortable with the vows that many people exchange during their wedding. I cannot know that I will love someone in 5, 10, or 15 years so I don’t believe in making a promise that I will. However, even for those that do make these promises and then find themselves out of love for their partner, I don’t believe that they should be forced to stay with that partner just because they made a vow.